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Monday, June 9, 2014

Good Morning, News!

Posted by Wm.™ Steven Humphrey on Mon, Jun 9, 2014 at 9:32 AM

GOOD MORNING, BLOGTOWN! You're too much for one man, but not enough for two. Dadgummit, who is he and what is he to you? LET'S GO TO PRESS.

On Sunday in Las Vegas, two police officers and another are dead in a shooting that's suspected to have White Supremacy ties. One of the assailants shot her partner, and then committed suicide on the scene.

More kidnappings in Nigeria, and once again the primary suspect is Boko Haram after 20 women are taken from a settlement near where the original 300 teenage girls were kidnapped.

At least 30 are killed in a double-bombing in Nothern Iraq... and you can guess who's responsible for that one, too.

President Obama is expected to announce an expansion of a student loan program which would "cap monthly payments for certain federal student loans at 10% of a borrower's discretionary income." In other words, I'll have my loans paid off by the year 3916.

According to US officials, the rescued Sgt. Bowe Bergdahl has said that during his Taliban captivity, he was tortured, beaten and held in a cage.

And while some of Bergdahl's comrades are still screaming that American soldiers lost their lives searching for him... that might not be, you know, TRUE.

Speaking of those busy, busy Taliban, some of their most highly trained soldiers attempted to hijack a plane in Pakistan, and were only stopped after a five hour battle with government forces.

OKAY. Before you get infuriated about some minor infraction you find on the internet today, and before you blow your top and go on a Twitter rampage, compare whatever it is that you're mad about TO THIS. (And then shut the fuck up.)

In case you missed it, actor/comedian Tracy Morgan was involved in a terrible car accident in New Jersey this weekend, in which his limo collided with a semi truck. He remains in critical condition. Another comedian in the car, Jimmy Mack, is dead.

By most accounts, Saturday's World Naked Bike Ride was super-duper fun! (I said, "by MOST accounts.")

Now here's what's going on in your neck of the woods: Possible drizzles today with a high of 72, but still nice all the way to Thursday.

And finally, Weezer's drummer Patrick Wilson catches concert-thrown frisbee... LIKE THA BOSS!

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