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Wednesday, June 25, 2014

It's Marjorie Skinner's WORST. NIGHT. EVER!

Posted by Ned Lannamann on Wed, Jun 25, 2014 at 10:14 AM


Welcome back to the Blogtown series we like to call "Worst. Night. Ever." Every Wednesday during our weekly "My, What a Busy Week" pitch meetings, someone suggests an event which is the equivalent of throwing acid in our eyes—but we also realize a more enlightened person might love it! Hence, these "risky" events are often unfairly pushed aside. WELL, NO MORE. Instead of allowing what could be entirely worthy events to vanish forever, we're asking you—yes, YOU—the Blogtown readers to decide which of these events one of us should attend... whether we like it or not!

Every week an editorial staff member will be presented with three events that do not match their personality or interests... like, AT ALL. And here's the fun part: YOU will vote on and pick the event that must be attended by our unlucky staffer. Afterward he or she will review it right here on the blog! NOTE: Everyone's taste is different, right? So while attending a Taylor Swift listening party might make Courtney claw her eyes out, Steve might love it! That's why you might find a perfectly pleasant event or two in the list below. Also, competitors must stay for at least two hours (or until the event is over, whichever comes first) and are not allowed to get drunk, or use any substances (drugs) or distractions (phone/reading material) to dull the pain they may experience. Now let's see who is up this week:


It's Marjorie Skinner's turn on the wheel of destiny. Now, Marjorie's one tough cookie. She's able to take most things in stride, and her sense of adventure* is second to none. Now, I think it's unlikely Marjorie will get as badly burned as I did, but we still found plenty of opportunities to make her suffer. Which of these three options is guaranteed to make her as uncomfortable as possible?
* translation: tolerance for bullshit

KISS AT SLEEP COUNTRY AMPHITHEATER. Marjorie hates KISS, or so she claims. This Friday, KISS is playing in the Portland area. However, Def Leppard is also on the bill, and for some reason, Marjorie's okay with them. That's why we're upping the ante: She has to not only attend the show and stay for the duration of KISS's set, but she'll be going up and back to the venue on the Shanghai Party Bus, which will be packed to the brim with some very enthusiastic KISS fans. And to top it off, she'll have to wear KISS makeup for the entire night—and no Starchild or Demon makeup for her. No, Marjorie has to wear the lamest one: Peter Criss' Catman face! (NOTE: Peter Criss isn't in KISS anymore, although I think the new drummer still has to wear the Catman makeup. Also, Marjorie loves kitty cats, so she might sort of enjoy this.)

OPEN MIC AT CURIOUS COMEDY. As far as I know, Marjorie has never done stand-up before. It is in your power to send her to Curious Comedy's open mic on Sunday night, where she'll have to perform a three-minute set to a room of legitimate comics and comedy fans, who will no doubt greet her pitiful attempts at humor with deathly silence.

WEAR TOE SHOES FOR THREE WHOLE DAYS. Let's just say that Marjorie, the Mercury's fashion guru, has opinions about shoes. So. Many. Opinions. That's why wearing a pair of some unbelievably terrible toe shoes for three entire days could just about wreck her weekend. Now, you and I will know precisely why Marjorie's wearing these godawful things, but should a friend or acquaintance come up to her and ask just what the hell she thinks she's doing, she must reply, "I just think they're comfortable."

Polling closes at 5 pm tomorrow. (Worst. Night. Ever. is taking next week off because of America's birthday, but the following week is Alison Hallett's Worst. Night. Ever! Got any discomfortable events for her? The time frame is July 10-13, so leave your ideas in the comments!)

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