This Week in the Mercury

You'll See Him if You Look

Film

You'll See Him if You Look

You Can't Get Rid of The Babadook


I Love Television™

Columns

I Love Television™

The Only Gift You're Gonna Get!



Friday, June 27, 2014

Good Morning, News!

Posted by Wm.™ Steven Humphrey on Fri, Jun 27, 2014 at 9:29 AM

GOOD MORNING, BLOGTOWN! I'm a big man, give this man room. I'd a hit everything, from Cancun to Grant's tomb. LET'S GO TO PRESS.

Pro-Russian separatists and Kiev government mediators meet face to face in an attempt to bring peace to a very ugly situation. Meanwhile thousands of Ukrainians rush for the Russian border to escape the onslaught of violence.

A US official confirmed today that our military has armed drones flying above Baghdad—as backup for 180 military advisors in the area.

Today in dumb things Republicans say: An Arkansas GOP official resigns after telling a magazine that if Hillary Clinton returned to the state, she'd "probably get shot." Bye-bye, dumb-dumb!

Meanwhile, Hillary Clinton continues to struggle with the (correct) perception that's she's a richy-rich.

Massachusetts raises their state minimum wage to $11 an hour—now the highest in the country. (Jealous much?)

115 gay and lesbian couples get married in a mass wedding ceremony in Toronto.

One of the few Republicans who can tell which way the wind is blowing, GOP Senator Susan Collins of Maine publicly voices her support of same-sex marriage.

In India, a Bengal tiger leaps onto a fishing boat, grabs a man, and drags him away to his death... which is completely horrible, but a cooler way to die than prostate cancer by a long shot.

In extremely creepy news, during the investigation of a toddler who died in a sweltering hot car, police look at the internet browsing history of the father and find a search for... you guessed it... "how long it takes for animals to die in a sweltering hot car." OH, NO.

According to the CDC, if you're having 15 drinks per week and you're a man, you're considered a "heavy drinker." HAHAHA! I only have 14. (By the way, women are thought to be heavy drinkers if they only have "8 or more" per week. So now they not only have to battle for equal pay, but equal boozing as well?)

Actor Shia LeBeouf "LeBeoufs it" again, getting arrested for drunken disorderly conduct and smoking a cigarette in a Broadway theater.

The US moves on to the knockout stage of the World Cup (despite yesterday's boring loss), and today the goal-scoring Dutch take on the goal-denying Mexico. (That should be a good one!)

Now here's what's going on in your neck of the woods: More rain today and tomorrow (BOO-HOO-HOOO! or rather "Yaaaaaay!" according to some of you Portland-centric snobs), but sunny sun returns on sunny Sunday! YAYYYY! (Or "boooo!" for you snobs.)

And finally... ridin' dirty at Disneyland.

Comments (3)

Showing 1-3 of 3

 
Subscribe to this thread:
Showing 1-3 of 3

Comments are closed.

All contents © Index Newspapers, LLC

115 SW Ash St. Suite 600
Portland, OR 97204

Contact Info | Privacy Policy | Production Guidelines | Terms of Use | Takedown Policy