I like to imagine the Gay Lobby as being represented by an attractive man in a seersucker suit. He arrives in Andrew Thomas's office holding two large cloth bags with "$$$" printed on the front. He sets the bags down on Thomas's desk, sits in the chair facing Thomas, and smirks, "Looks like Arizona is about to get a whole lot...gayer."

Andrew Thomas stands up and shoves the bags of money off his desk. "NEVER," Thomas shouts. "You can tell your damn lobby I don't want any part of their game! They can all go to hell! Especially the Mexican ones!" Shocked, the Gay Lobby representative stands up and collects his bags of money. "You tell your people that I'm not for sale! Andrew Thomas doesn't need any of your goddamned money!"

SMASH CUT TO: Two months later, Thomas is standing on the crappy patio where filming for his gubernatorial election ad is taking place. The commercial is being filmed with a Nokia phone from the early 2000s, and the extras were carted in from a local nursing home. "Goddamnit," Thomas mutters to himself, looking around at his penny-ante operation. "I really should've taken that fucking money."

(Via Gawker.)