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Wednesday, July 30, 2014

Good Morning, News!

Posted by Wm.™ Steven Humphrey on Wed, Jul 30, 2014 at 9:29 AM

GOOD MORNING, BLOGTOWN! Oh, once you get involved, everyone will look this way, so, you must maintain your charm. Same time maintain your halo. LET'S GO TO PRESS.

According to those on the scene, the West African Ebola crisis is out of control, and Europe is frantic that the disease will arrive there next.

Meanwhile, an American who perished from Ebola was one airplane stop away from arriving in the states.

Israel unleashed its heaviest air attack yet of the current war on Gaza, killing 128 as they target a Hamas power plant leaving 1.7 million without electricity.

International observers can't reach the crash site of Malaysian Flight 17, because pro-Russian separatists have littered the area with land mines. It's almost like they don't want the site to be investigated!

Meanwhile back in Mother Russia, the citizens are now officially nervous about all the sanctions being laid upon them, thanks to their shirtless leader.

With everything happening in the world, Congress is STILL determined to push through a lawsuit against President Obama for hurting their feelings.

Meanwhile, after its brief slump earlier in the year, the US economy has come bouncing back with a vengeance. (No thanks at all to our do-nothing Congress.)

The Texas Attorney General says the state must ban same-sex marriage for the "good of the children." THE CHILDREN! OH DEAR GOD! THE CHILLLLLLDREEEEEEEN!!!

A Los Angeles water main breaks, turning the streets around UCLA into lakes and gushing rivers.

And HURRAH! Here's the headline we never expected to read, but we're so glad it's here: "Orlando Bloom Throws Punch at Justin Bieber." YESSSSSSSSSSS.

Now here's what's going on in your neck of the woods: 88 and sunny today, rinse and repeat for the rest of the week.

And finally, two Dobermans enjoy a children's playground slide... well, at least one of them does!

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