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Thursday, July 31, 2014

Good Morning, News!

Posted by Denis C. Theriault on Thu, Jul 31, 2014 at 9:30 AM

Impeachment Lite! Some House Republicans are having a hard time saying the "I" word when it comes to President Obama. So they've decided to do the next best thing! In a total party-line vote, they've agreed to sue him in federal court—arguing that he overstepped his constitutional bounds by using executive orders to modify pieces of the Affordable Care Act.

Any cease-fire in Gaza, Israel has declared, must wait until its military finishes seeking and destroying Hamas' network of cross-border tunnels. To make his point, Benjamin Netanyahu has called up 16,000 additional reservists to help with the invasion.

And Israel won't have to worry about running out of ammunition, either. Right after the United States strongly condemned an artillery attack that killed 16 of the hundreds of Palestinians who'd gathered at a United Nations shelter, it quietly admitted simultaneously restocking Israel's dwindling ordnance supplies.

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“I wouldn’t be worried to sit next to someone with Ebola virus on the Tube as long as they don’t vomit on you or something,” he said, referring to London’s underground train system. “This is an infection that requires very close contact.”

One Seattle cop—just one!—has written 80 percent of the city's tickets for public pot-smoking, tickets that have overwhelmingly been issued to minorities and the poor.

Warring in Ukraine has paused long enough to finally—finally!—allow international rescue workers and investigators to visit the crash site of a Malaysian Airlines flight downed earlier this month by a missile.

We've become such a stupid country that a "language blogger" working for a Utah language school was fired after using the word "homophones." "Now our school is going to be associated with homosexuality," the fired blogger says his boss told him.

A Keith Urban concert already notorious after nearly two-dozen fans went to the hospital with alcohol poisoning has now been marred by an accusation that a 20-year-old man raped a teenager on the venue's lawn, in full view of witnesses who apparently did nothing (Until one woman finally did.) Urban had previously described the scene on the lawn as "cool" and "nutso."

Portland's gotten out of the business of selling its delightful and vital Loos—a nod to an ongoing lawsuit that's challenged the city's decision to spend water and sewer money at various points on marketing the 24-hour public toilets.

Scott Walker, the governor and not the crooner, got a very good ride from the Wisconsin Supreme Court this morning. Justices upheld a draconian voter ID law and his signature 2011 initiative that murdered bargaining rights for public employees. (Happily, the voter ID law has already been blocked in federal court.)

Learn about the most gluttonous meals sold at America's finer dining establishments. The "winner" is Red Robin (offering three convenient locations in the metro area!)—with a burger, fries, and milkshake combo worth 3,540 calories.

AND SOMEDAY YOU WILL DIE, TOO.

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