Hey geeks and freaks! Who watched the debut of Gotham (or as I like to call it, Batman Babies!) last night? YOU DID?!? Woot, woot, then let's chitty-chat about it! I'll give a quick recap after the jump (SPOILER ALERTS AHOY!), and then I'd love to read your thoughts about it in the comments... because, well, it was different. LET'S GET TO CHITTY CHATTING!

MORE AFTER THE JUMP

Here's what I'm thinking about the debut episode of Gotham...

1) The show opens with young Selina Kyle (Baby Catwoman) practicing her best Catwoman moves. (People don't actually move like that, btw. It looks weird, like she's always warming up for Pilates class.) Cut to Baby Bruce Wayne's parents getting gunned down in the alley-way, and the audible SNAP! that occurs in Baby Batman's brain.

2) Meanwhile back at the noisiest police station in the world, Baby James Gordon (played by Ryan Atwood from The O.C.) gently persuades a mentally ill person to drop his guard so he can not so gently elbow him in his mentally ill FACE. Naturally the other cops follow suit, and James is all like, "Oh, guys... don't do to him what I just did to him... ohhhh mannnn... Anyway, what's up with my new partner? He's kind of a jerk."

3) Donal Logan is doing his best Nick Nolte as James' partner Harvey Bullock, who's already trying to corrupt young James. The pair catch the Wayne murder case, and Bullock immediately tries to duck out of it, instinctively knowing something smells (ahem) "fishy"... which brings us to...

4) ... Fish Mooney, played by Jada Pinkett Smith, and who is pretty awesome in this role, and clearly the most believable. She's joined by her lackey, Baby Penguin (who's totally super insecure—aaand probably for good reason). Unfortunately for us, he did not say, "WAK! WAK! WAK!" even once.

5) A bunch of other villains and cohorts are introduced, including Baby Riddler (working as a forensic scientist, and providing the first hard evidence that the Wayne murders were probably a professional hit), Baby Poison Ivy (She likes plants, and her dad is mean! That's all we know so far), Renee Montoya (from Batman: the Animated Series SQUEEEEEE!), and the future Mrs. Barbara Gordon... who I suppose is going to birth baby Batgirl? (Babs also has a secret she's not sharing right now... for want of a better idea, I'm going to say it's herpes.)

6) Harvey and James are led to baby Poison Ivy's mean dad who conveniently has dead Mrs. Wayne's pearls, and after a convenient chase, he is conveniently killed and Harvey and James are conveniently the new heroes of Gotham! HOORAH!

7) But not so fast! Baby Penguin rats out Fish to Montoya, Gordon gets wind of it, confronts Fish, and winds up hanging upside down in a meat locker (joined by Harvey) for his trouble. They're saved by the big mob boss, Carmine Falcone, who insists that James kills Baby Penguin. In a shocking twist, James fakes the kill and tells Baby Penguin to waddle out of Gotham forever... which of course he won't, because, he's a dick.

8) James goes to Baby Batman and says, "I've failed you, Baby Batman! But I'm going to pretend to be a dirty cop to find out who killed your parents." And Baby Batman responds, "Whatever, old dude. I'm busy watching Alfred dig out the Batcave. NO, YOU IDIOT! Put the giant penny over THERE!!"

9) OKAY, SO WHAT DID YOU THINK OF THAT? I was actually pretty underwhelmed by Ryan Atwood's performance as James Gordon—he's being too teeth gritty. In fact, the only actors I loved were the villains who were strong across the board. I'm also not sure they've found the correct tone for this show. The first three quarters were pretty stiff, and didn't feel "real" to me until the last few minutes. I think they're taking themselves a bit too seriously overall, which makes moments like Baby Catwoman's pilates warm-ups seem really laughable.

10) NO, BUT REALLY... WHAT DID YOU THINK OF THAT? Put your valued opinions in the comments below, and let's CHITTY-CHAT ABOUT BATMAN BABIES!