I am a 23-year-old lesbian who has been in a monogamous relationship for the past three years.

The problem is I am very happy being in a monogamous relationship while my partner wants an open relationship. She wants to sleep with other people but says she is not interested in any kind of emotional relationship with other people. I love this girl and want to make it work but I don't know if this is possible. I know it's unrealistic to be in a monogamous relationship for a life time but thinking about her fucking other people while I play the sucker girlfriend waiting for her to come home makes me sick. I want her to be happy and to be able to fulfill her needs, explore, and grow, but this really breaks my heart. I know that if she doesn't do this she will probably resent me but if she sleeps with other people I will resent her. We've thought about taking a break for a while so she can try and fulfill her needs but I'm not sure it would work. I am desperately in love with her but thinking of her being with other people really gets under my skin. I want this to work soo much and so does she.

Is there any hope of making this work or should I wake up and realize we just want different things from a relationship?

Wishing I Wanted An Open Relationship

My response after the jump...

I'm on a plane, WIWAOR, and we're landing—so forgive me if this seems brusque.

You're probably not going to spend the rest of your life with the person you fell in love with back before you could legally buy a beer. You and your girlfriend are in disagreement about a major, potentially deal-breaking issue. And it really isn't possible to hammer out a compromise on this issue. You want monogamy, she wants to sleep with other people. There's no middle ground: you have to let her sleep with other people, she has to agree not to sleep with other people, or you two have to part ways.

But first...

Ask yourself what you want more: a monogamous relationship or this relationship? Your girlfriend needs to ask herself the same question. What does she want more: This relationship more or a non-monogamous relationship? If one of you answers "this relationship," then that person gives way. That could lead to resentment down the road (inches or miles), of course; it could also lead to revisiting the issue down the road.

Now I'm turning you over to the commenters....