No No God No. A guy in Oklahoma was fired from his food processing job Thursday, and immediately beheaded a coworker. Alton Nolen, 30, was stabbing another woman when a reserve sheriff's deputy shot him. This can not become a thing.

Con: The iPhone 6 bends. Pro: It stymies the NSA from knowing everything you think, every word you say, any email you read or mobile cat video you peruse, and every place you visit. So it's a wash.

We're still hammering ISIS. And hey! Our coalition's getting bigger! It's just that a lot of the new faces aren't so sure about following us into the Syrian wing of this fresh offensive.

Meanwhile, on the Iraq wing? It's not just terror inspiring Iraqi soldiers to flee before ISIS' advances. It's also arbitrary things—like dwindling food and ammo supplies not being replenished by the government.

Doctor Monica Wehby, looking to unseat Senator Jeff Merkley in November, is raising eyebrows—again—after refusing to participate in a KGW/Oregonian sponsored televised debate. The news organizations are harrumphing about it being the first time a major senate candidate hasn't signed on in recent memory. It is, in short, not earning Wehby many flattering headlines at a time she desperately could use them.

Chicagoans! Travelers locked in purgatory! The object of your rage is Brian Howard, a Naperville man working under contract at a Chicago-area air traffic control facility when he set a fire there yesterday. Paramedics found him trying to cut his own throat.

So Seattle has leaders with enough pull to attract bike share sponsorships, and they'll get a system up and running in middle October (still not even a remote sign of life in Portland's stalled efforts). The catch? Seattle's got a mandatory helmet law, but the city hasn't been able to corral helmet vending machines in time. So Portland-based Alta Bicycle Share, already in the midst of an unclear financial situation, will just give them away for several months.

The economy's getting better. March all you want, well-intentioned marchers, and that simple fact will still have more and more Earth-killing emissions chugging from American factories and power plants. We're in trouble.

Chinese cops are now carrying guns. Guess, American, how that's going.

Project Pabst weather. See you at Zidell Yards.

Screen_Shot_2014-09-27_at_9.20.55_AM.png

But first, breakfast!