GOOD MORNING, BLOGTOWN! Coming at y'all in stereo, I'm riding that thing like a rodeo. Hang on baby 'cuz the ride is rough, and don't stop 'til you get enough. LET'S GO TO PRESS.

Mohamed Osman Mohamud, the infamous Christmas Tree non-bomber, who was lured into a fake plan to set off a fake bomb at Portland's annual tree lighting ceremony by undercover FBI agents four years ago, is scheduled to be sentenced today. His attorneys are asking for 10 years, the prosecution is asking for at least 40.

The Skanner reports that the Portland police Gang Task Force has changed their name to "Community Peace Collaborative"... which is quite a different name, don't you think?

According to a extremely disturbing new survey, one in ten women students at the University of Oregon say they've been raped.

More trouble for the Secret Service after the recent rash of White House security breaches, as two senior lawmakers are advising Secret Service chief Julia Pierson to step down from her position.

One of the reasons? Apparently the Secret Service allowed an armed man with a criminal record on the elevator with Obama. GULP.

Russia proves themselves to be dicks once again, by scrapping a foreign exchange student program after they learned one of their students was placed in the home of a gay couple.

In cop news, a Florida officer is put on leave after he uses a stun gun on a 62-year-old woman.

According to human rights activists, Islamic State went on a beheading spree, cutting off the heads of seven men and three women in the northern part of Syria.

Turkey agrees to join the fight against Islamic State, but still wants Syria's President Assad dethroned.

Hong Kong's government's new plan to deal with the demonstrators clogging their streets? Wait until they get bored and leave. (Five bucks says that doesn't work.)

Congratulations America, we now have our first diagnosed case of Ebola, courtesy of a man flying in from Liberia to Texas. Three... two... one... PANIC!!!

The New York Times announced that it will be cutting 100 newsroom jobs—for reasons that should be obvious to everyone by now.

Now here's what's going on in your neck of the woods: Cloudy and cool today, but the sun returns starting tomorrow for at least a week!

And finally, a raccoon and a "coon dog" get in a best friends wrestling match to end all best friends wrestling matches. WHO YA GOT?!?