GOOD MORNING, BLOGTOWN! You know you've changed, and your words they lie. That's something you can't deny. LET'S GO TO PRESS.

In case you missed it yesterday, an unmanned supply rocket designed to deliver food to the International Space Station blew up after leaving the launch pad. Almost immediately the Russians said, "We got this," and launched their own rocket delivering three tons of food. Thank you, and SHOW OFFS!!

A Maine nurse is blatantly defying her state's quarantine rules, saying she's tested negative for the Ebola virus, and the law is unconstitutional.

Texas executes its tenth death row inmate... THIS YEAR. Busy, busy Texas!

And now the most idiotically hilarious quote of the day!

"Does anybody think that Vladimir Putin would have gone into Crimea had George W. Bush been president of the United States?" House Speaker John Boehner said on Monday in Davenport, Iowa, where the Ohio Republican is campaigning for GOP hopefuls. "No! Even Putin is smart enough to know that Bush would have punched him in the nose in about 10 seconds!"

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAA! Good one.

Meanwhile in a somewhat less hilarious quote, senior officials in the Obama White House stand accused of calling Israel's Prime Minister Netanyahu a "chicken shit."

Pope Francis tries to have his cake and eat it too, by saying it's possible to believe in both "creationism" and "evolution." Yummy cake!

A new poll says that most Portland residents have exactly zero faith in the job our local government is doing when it comes to providing services. Portlanders? Entitled and cynical? Huh. That's weird.

The Blazers have their first game of the season tonight against the Oklahoma Thunder! Get STOKED, y'all, with live blog coverage from Blogtown's b-ball correspondent, Rob Simonsen. TONIGHT!

Now here's what's going on in your neck of the woods: Wait... not so showery today?? HURRAH! But don't worry, rain lovers... the wet returns with a vengeance tomorrow afternoon.

And finally, HEY ADORABLE BABY GOAT! Can I get a "WHAT WHAT"?