Live from the Moda Center as the Portland Trail Blazers host the Brooklyn Nets.
No Batum? No problem. The Blazers have gone 2-0 with Nicolas Batum on the shelf, and were last seen wiping the floor with the Denver Nuggets to the tune of 84 first-half points. Batum is targeting Monday for a return date, but things have gone as well as possible with Allen Crabbe filling in.
No Aldridge? Well, that might be a different story. LaMarcus Aldridge is out tonight with an upper respiratory illness, leaving Portland with just three-fifths of their starting lineup in tact. So much of Portland’s offense is based off of Aldridge’s mid-range reliability and his ability to open the floor for the rest of his teammates. Thomas Robinson jumpers just don’t hold the same gravity.
Hey, speaking of gravity—or in this instance the apparent lack thereof—here’s Nets owner and Russian bajillionaire Mikhail Prokhorov busting out some sweet jet-ski tricks. The height! The showmanship! The cheesy hard rock soundtrack! That video is five years old and still the most exciting thing the Nets have going for them.
PRE-GAME:
Seriously, this Nets team is so boring that even Jay-Z couldn’t save them. Deron Williams? Joe Johnson? Brook Lopez? They are the new Atlanta Hawks, just with a better color scheme. Where’s Jason Kidd to spill a cup of water on the ground when you need him?
The big matchup, no seven-foot pun intended, is going to be the Lopez twins battling down low. Brook is supposed to be the superior player of the two, but so far this season the gap has diminished—Robin has been great on both sides of the court, and he has the better comic book collection. His recent comments towards Brook may have been in jest, but we know who their mom likes best.
The scoreboard is showing that Chris Kaman will take Aldridge's place in the lineup, Portland's third different starting lineup of the year. They only had two different starting combinations all of last season, with four out of five starters playing all 82 games.
Is it possible to play a full game with "Deal With It" sunglasses on? Damian Lillard is about to find out.
Oh...oh my. Forget what I said earlier about Kaman starting—Meyers Leonard is getting the nod instead. Yes, that Meyers Leonard. Bringing out the victory cigar before the game even starts? That's a bold move.
FIRST QUARTER:
10:06 - After a collective 0-8 start from the field between these two teams, Meyers Leonard (him?) finally got the scoring started with a fifteen-foot jumper. Just like we all predicted. 2-0 Blazers.
8:40 - Robin Lopez is trying to show off his new jumper, but he's missed all three attempts thus far. Brook Lopez, on the other hand, stole Robin's toy truck sunk his first shot of the night. Advantage: Brook. 4-4 Tie.
5:56 - Meyers Leonard is out here looking like a competent basketball player so if anyone needs me I'm just going to be under this table weeping for a bit. 13-8 Blazers.
4:35 - Technical foul on Robin Lopez, and he's headed to the bench in disgust. It's been a rough start for him thus far. Double advantage: Brook. 13-11 Blazers.
3:22 - Dame sits having only taken six shots. I'd be okay with that number being doubled. He should probably just pull up from thirty feet every time down the court. 13-13 Tie.
2:49 - CJ McCollum was fouled on a three-point attempt, but he missed all three freebies. Remember last game when Portland had 84 in the first half? Me neither. 13-13 Tie.
1:00 - Finally, some offense! A Steve Blake three has energized this crowd and turned this back into a basketball game. 22-15 Blazers.
0:00 - That was one of the ugliest quarters of basketball. Portland is shooting 33% from the floor and 50% from the line, and somehow aren't the worst team playing right now. 24-15 Blazers.
SECOND QUARTER:
10:13 - Dame checks in, Dame hits from deep. More of that, please. 27-19 Blazers.
9:42 - A highlight? A highlight! Dame threw a sweet alley-oop to Will Barton! Basketball! 29-19 Blazers.
9:24 - Welp, so much for those highlights. Barton tried to throw a transition oop to Meyers, but Meyers was rejected by the rim. Never change, y'all. 29-19 Blazers.
7:00 - Meyers Leonard three-point alert. This is not a drill. I repeat, this is not a drill. 36-25 Blazers.
4:07 - Just when the Blazers had a bit of a run going, Dame got called for a crab dribble and had his basket waived off. That was almost a fun transition bucket. Instead, the life just continues to get sucked out of this building. Nets basketball: catch the fever. 43-33 Blazers.
2:18 - The rest of this live blog might just be sad emoticons. Nothing feels good. 45-35 Blazers.
1:08 - The Nets have posted up Joe Johnson at least ten times in this game. No wonder everything is awful. 45-37 Blazers.
0:00 - And your score at halftime is hang in there cat to sad Keanu. 50-39 Blazers.
THIRD QUARTER:
11:08 - Back to back baskets for Robin Lopez to start the half, one right over his brother. Advantage: Robin. 54-41 Blazers.
9:28 - Portland had nothing going for 22 seconds on that possession, but that doesn't matter when you have Dame standing thirty feet from the basket. He caught the hot potato pass and beat the shot clock with ease. 59-43 Blazers.
8:46 - Robin Lopez beat his brother for an offensive rebound and put back, and the Nets need time. Robin is out here doing work this half. 61-45 Blazers.
5:52 Dame with a double-clutch three? Why not? 66-53 Blazers.
4:32 - If you like watching shooting guards post up, have I got a game for you. 69-57 Blazers.
2:24 - A missed Kaman free throw briefly caused a weird feedback noise loop from the rim microphone that ran over the loud speakers. It was the exact sound my brain has been making during this game. 73-60 Blazers.
0:00 - A broken play somehow ended up with Kaman picking up an and one at the end of the quarter. The offense has looked out of sorts (as it should without Aldridge and Batum), and yet they've still managed to put up eighty points so far. This Nets team is a pile of sadness. 80-66 Blazers.
FOURTH QUARTER:
10:51 - The Nets turned the ball over after Alan Anderson stepped out of bounds. Will Barton tried to grab the ball from him, but Anderson wasn't having it. The two came together, looked primed to share some words, but then backed off. Oh, and somewhere during all of that, Lionel Hollins fell down. Go Nets! 80-68 Blazers.
8:02 - I think I'm going to go home and watch the beginning of Up after this. I could use something to pick me up. 86-73 Blazers.
6:09 - Joe Johnson has twenty points on sixty-eight post ups this game. I'm not sure if the Nets know they can run other plays besides that one. 86-75 Blazers.
4:48 - The Blazers need some points in the worst way. Brooklyn has dug their way back to within single digits after Jarret Jack picked up a hard-earned and one in transition. 86-78 Blazers.
4:35 - And right on cue, there's Dame to take it to the rim. 88-78 Blazers.
2:41 - The offense has been a mess this quarter, but there was that trusty step-back three from Wesley Matthews to give Portland just a bit more breathing room. 91-82 Blazers.
2:05 - Well, maybe that step-back three isn't so trustworthy after all. Matthews took his hand at hero ball, tried to step back on Mirza Teletovic with a high-arcing release, but drew nothing but the bottom of the backboard. Brooklyn with a timeout to try and draw something up here late. Let me guess? Joe Johnson post up? 91-84 Blazers.
1:01 - Well, the offense still isn't able to do anything (Matthews overthrew an oop to Meyers and Allen Crabbe missed an open three on the last two possessions), but Portland's defense is doing its job so far on the other end. This slug fest is, thankfully, just about done. 91-84 Blazers.
0:42 - The Nets result to the foul game to try and earn some extra possessions. Seeing as how they are 0-16 from deep tonight, that might not be a winning strategy. Dame was able to knock down both of his freebies. 93-84 Blazers.
0:18 - Hey, the Nets hit a three! 1-18! 93-87 Blazers.
FINAL: 97-87 Blazers. No Aldridge? No Batum? No problem. It sure wasn't pretty, but tonight still counts in the win column. That's four in a row for the Blazers, who should be getting some of the cavalry back on Monday night against Anthony Davis and the New Orleans Pelicans.
