This week's Letters to the Editor features equal parts anger and lust, as any good read should. Let's begin first with anger, shall we?:

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  • ILLUSTRATION BY JOE SCHLAUD

LOW BLOWS

RE: "Furious Anger" [Letters, Nov 5], regarding the city's resistance to a federal judge's ruling that it be required to return to court annually to report on police reform mandates.

TO THE EDITOR—I [wholeheartedly] agree with the letter writer of "Furious Anger." I'm an old fart of 62. I remember Portland cops out of control back in the late '60s, staging a mini Chicago-style police riot in the Park Blocks against PSU students protesting the Vietnam War thanks to another "DINO" ["Democrat in name only"] of that era, former City Commissioner Frank Ivancie, or "Ivancie the Terrible," depending on which side of the political fence one resided. Their overall attitude is, "Back the fuck off and let us continue our reign of thuggery on the mentally ill and anyone else who doesn't immediately comply."

[Do] the mayor and the rest of "Cartoon Castle" get it? No, they don't, because they now feel entitled to challenge the federal judge on the agreement they signed off on. Get out and VOTE all their sorry asses out next time, including our "DINO" mayor and his little sidekick, "Captain Hook."

Furious Part Deux

GMO GTFO

RE: "Gloating" [Letters, Nov 12], regarding a fellow reader's triumph over the failure of a measure that would have required package labels on food containing genetically modified organisms.

TO SCIENCE WON, PARANOIA LOST—The Measure 92 vote was a virtual tie. Scientists with the chemical companies that make [genetically modified] seeds, with the exception of those scientists who have been ostracized for reaching the "wrong" conclusions, claim GM foods are like any other food. That part of the elected official community (for lack of a better phrase) in this country most supportive of the GMO industry is almost identical to that part of the elected official community that denies the science of climate change. Why don't you get together with the anti-labeling newspaper editors you refer to along with a couple of Monsanto lobbyists, break out a bottle of good GMO corn liquor, and make a toast to super weeds and super pests, and to the trashing of organic agriculture?

Carlos Martin

CLEANSE THE SIN

RE: "Duggar Family Values" [Feature, Nov 12], regarding columnist Dan Savage's run-ins with the reality television family's fans.

DEAR MERCURY—I was raised both Catholic and Jewish. This means I had a double dose of guilt. I started going to confession when I was in grade school and have continued through my adult years. I confess the same sins that I confessed in the eighth grade. Things like: "This week I swore three times, I was mean to a friend two times, I had dirty thoughts four times this week." I feel forgiven and less guilty for the other sins I did not confess after I say my penance of several Our Fathers or Hail Marys. This cleansed feeling [usually] lasts for the rest of the week, until next Saturday. Then I read Dan Savage's article on the Duggar family values. For some reason, maybe because of my Catholic repressed-sexuality upbringing, I started getting sexual thoughts of a horrible nature after reading his article. In fact, they were so horrible, I'm afraid to go to confession and confess them. I was wondering if perhaps your readers [have] some suggestions on how I could get over this and purge these thoughts from my head and stop feeling so guilty? I say with trepidation and the desire to cleanse my heart and mind what this fantasy is and why it is so horrible. Here goes: I cannot help but fantasize having Michelle Duggar on her knees in front of me sucking my cock, and Jim Bob Duggar (god I love his name) plugging me in the ass. I don't like making your fine newspaper a platform for confessions, but already I feel less guilty and cleansed.

A cleansed heart

OH MY, that is terrible! Maybe two tickets to the Laurelhurst Theater for winning this week's Mercury letter of the week will help? At the very least you're safe from the Duggars who—god willing—will never make the leap to the big screen.