GOOD MORNING, BLOGTOWN! Mirror, mirror on the wall. Tell me, mirror, what is wrong? Can it be my De La clothes? Or is it just my De La song? LET'S GO TO PRESS.

In case you missed it yesterday, Mayor Charlie Hales invited a few protesters to City Hall to discuss police tactics during marches and institutional racism—but he got a whole lot more.

Mayor Hales wrote a guest opinion piece for the Oregonian, saying that he would not allow those Uber jerks—and they are jerks—to stampede Portland.

A lawsuit accuses ex-Nike employees of jumping ship to Adidas and taking a crapload of shoe designs with them.

A judge refuses to grant the GMO labeling supporters request to count rejected ballots—and while all the votes haven't been recounted yet, it looks like they might be in for their second loss.

Well, that CIA "Torture Report" released yesterday was just as bad (if not worse) than expected, dropping words like "rectal rehydration" and "broken limbs" (GAHHH). The New York Times called it, “a portrait of depravity that is hard to comprehend and even harder to stomach.” And NATURALLY, don't expect anyone to pay for their crimes, because... AMERICA.

A U.N. expert has called for former senior Bush officials to be prosecuted for the crimes revealed in the CIA torture report. (Did you guys not read what I just wrote? AIN'T... GONNA... HAPPEN.)

Did torture techniques help capture Osama bin Laden? Short answer: NOPE.

Naturally, a Fox News host had this reaction to the torture report: "America is AWESOME."

As you may recall the District of Columbia voted to legalize recreational use of marijuana. Well, your Congress put an end to that.

Protesters in California marched for the fourth straight night against police abuses nationwide, and even blocked the freeway. (19 were arrested.)

Somebody (maybe the North Koreans?) hacked into Sony Pictures leaking confidential data and films... including an email in which Sony officials call Angelina Jolie a "minimally talented spoiled brat." (It's funny, because it's true.)

Now here's what's going on in your neck of the woods: Showery today, stormy tomorrow, but a dry-out is on the way!

And finally, who wants to hear The Avengers sing a bunch of Christmas carols? (Well, they're not the Mormon Tabernacle Choir... but I guess they'll do.)