So you probably had a pretty okay holiday. Not the best. Not the worst. And it probably wasn't as good as this one. Stacey Addison, a former Portland veterinarian, got word that she'd be freed from the East Timor prison where she'd been held for months just because she'd shared a cab with someone who'd been carrying drugs.

You know who had a lousy holiday? This guy, who got himself kicked off an American Airlines flight after ranting and raving when the flight crew, like the good robots they're trained to be, kept wishing him a "Merry Christmas."

You know who else had a lousy holiday? Hordes of gamers, who were forced to interact with their families and/or housepets after hackers, starting on Christmas Eve, knocked out service to the Xbox Live and Sony Playstation networks.

Despite playing in just 300 theaters, after Sony finally relented and allowed its partial release, modern freedom totem The Interview banked $1 million in box office proceeds over Christmas.

Happy New Year for Russia? Nyet.

A drunk New Yorker was among six people arrested on suspicion of threatening to harm police officers—more fallout from last weekend's assassination of two cops who'd been sitting in their patrol car.

The pharisees in charge of a Cincinnati suburb, selectively wielding their town's zoning laws, have aimed brain-splattering kill shots at some nerd's zombie birth-of-Jesus-in-a-manger display.

This is what not having "freedom of speech" really looks like, in case anyone wondered.

Tasers are called "less-lethal" weapons for a perfectly good reason. Sometimes, albeit rarely, people who are zapped with them die.

The peace and security promised by the Islamic State's dominion over parts of Iraq and Syria—they were bureaucrats, we were told, as well as soldiers, religious scolds, and demagogues—have failed to materialize. Hunger and deprivation are surging. Basic municipal functions are crumbling. More importantly, morale and faith in the promise of a new Islam are faltering.

Cops in Hong Kong are promising to track down every single goddamned degenerate who ran onto a traffic-choked road downtown and pocketed money spilled from an armored truck.

THIS KID... IS... CORRECT.