DANCE PARTY—Wanna put the hell of Christmas with the family far, far behind you? Go get messy at Blow Pony’s holiday blowout dance night, Christ-Mess. There’ll be naughty and nice DJs, lots of eye candy to unwrap, and more gaiety than you ever saw on Christmas proper, with Santa sittings and sexy, sexy dancers! COURTNEY FERGUSON
Rotture, 315 SE 3rd, 9 pm, $5

MUSIC—Any time you get a chance to dance, drink, and cavort at the Spare Room, you should take that chance and hug it close to your sweaty, drunken bosom. Perennial Portland favorites Larry and Teri provide another great reason to get drunk and sweaty with their old-school lounge act; they’ve been playing 60 years of hits for nearly two decades together. COURTNEY FERGUSON
The Spare Room, 4830 NE 42nd, 9 pm, FREE