It's not really in my nature to be super catty about other people's "fashion don'ts," but what the hell. I'll try. You can throw it back in my face when you bust me at the dog park wearing galoshes, running pants, and a filthy beanie. For now, here are my least favorite things people wore in 2014:

1) Birkenstocks. I feel like I need to personally apologize to like 15 of my friends now, but I'm sorry... You can make them patent leather and you can pair them with an otherwise perfectly chic outfit, but they still remind me of hobbits and trolls.

2) Asymmetrical anything. I think it may be related to the fact that I am mildly OCD, but I have a really hard time with this. Your shirt/dress/haircut is broken. Please fix it so I can move on. It drives me even more batshit than a crooked painting.

3) Synthetics. There are some really nice poly blends out there, but if it's not a sequin and it shines, or it reminds you of a cape that came with one of your little brother's action figure heroes, burn that shit (carefully).

4) Pinchy shoes. I wore "uncomfortable" shoes for years, and I like to think that I did so rather naturally. I'm also not willing to forgo height altogether (I'm a controversial 5'2"). But these days bunched up toe cleavage or wobbly ankles looks super dated. If I can't sprint to catch a bus in them I don't want 'em (note: I can sprint in three-inch heels if they're thick, just not five-inch stilettos).

5) Not knowing where your clothes come from or what they're made of. You don't have to buy exclusively local or all cotton and wool (but it would be cooler if you did), but you do have to be aware that your purchasing decisions affect the economic realities of others. Do what you want, but at least look at the tag.

Nope, not even if Isabel Marant says so.
  • Odessa via Instagram
  • Nope, not even if Isabel Marant says so.