GOOD MORNING, BLOGTOWN! Now danger's in sight, 'cause I can't help the way that I feel. I just can't help the way that I feel. LET'S GO TO PRESS.

A 1,000 person strong anti-abortion rally took place yesterday at Pioneer Square, led by a person who gives arm-sleeve tattoos a bad name. (Unfortunately for them, a football game was being played and so they were roundly ignored. For once... thanks, football!)

Oh yeah... a football game was played and Seattle won it.

A man in a massive crash on I-84 is sandwiched between two semis...and walks away with only two bandaids. (He doesn't look extremely happy about having his photo taken before being rescued, though.)

Owl attacks jogger in Salem—and the story gets monumentally more embarrassing from there.

Hey Mitt Romney! What do you have to say in response to this headline: "New Oxfam report says half of global wealth held by the 1%."

U.S. Government: "We are really furious that North Korea hacked Sony's emails!! Umm... how do we know they did it? Well, because we've been hacking them since 2010! (Whoops.)"

A$AP Yams, the mastermind of Harlem's A$AP Mob, is dead... for a reason that has yet to be revealed.

Fox News apologizes an unheard of FOUR TIMES for their latest massive fuck up, about Muslims and "no go zones" in Europe.

Meanwhile in Chechnya, tens of thousands march in a protest rally AGAINST Charlie Hebdo's choice to publish cartoons insulting the Prophet Muhammad.

Shots were fired from a speeding car passing by the residence of Vice President Joe Biden—but no one was home or hurt.

Here's a preview of tomorrow night's State of the Union Address.

It's Martin Luther King, Jr Day, and here are four opinions on how far civil rights have come, and how far they still need to go.

Now here's what's going on in your neck of the woods: Partly cloudy today with a high of 50, and sunny tomorrow through Thursday.

And finally, in this SNL sketch Martin Luther King helps a millennial work on his term paper—and frustrations ensue!