First things first. Yes, they're keeping the damn sign! In case you missed it yesterday, here's what's happening to the Sandy Hut.

In Seoul, US Ambassador to South Korea Mark Lippert was attacked by an assailant wielding "a small fruit knife" and some horrible ideas. Lippert's been hospitalized.

The DOJ Report on Ferguson: Just as horrible as you thought.

In workers' comp: A new report from OSHA, following reporting from NPR and ProPublica on worker's comp "reform," links injuries on the job to income inequality.

Meanwhile, Oregon appears to be an exception to the nationwide trend towards gutting workers' comp, says the O: Oregon's had no workers' comp reforms since 2002, yet rates of workers' comp here are "well below the national average."

Can Portland solve its bike theft problem with GPS bike trackers? MAYBE!

Hope you aren't traveling through LGA today (or ever, really): A Delta flight from Atlanta skidded off the runway into a fence at LaGuardia Airport this morning, but there were no reported injuries. LaGuardia will be closed until at least 7 pm EST.

UGH, Chris Christie: Now, with even LESS scruples!

UGH, Conrad Hilton: A plea deal follows an alleged assault on a flight crew between London and LA, that apparently included a classic "They're all fucking peasants!" tirade. Sit down, Marie Antoinette.

Clintonemail.com: That's the domain used by Hillary Clinton for her personal email communications. She's announced she wants her emails made public following Tuesday's revelation that she used this personal account for state affairs while serving as secretary of state.

Today, in invasive laws no one asked for: Hardcore anti-choicers associated with domestic terrorist group Operation Rescue are trying to pass sweeping anti-abortion legislation in New Mexico, that would ban abortions after 20 weeks and could also impact birth control access.

Now at Cedars-Sinai: Antibiotic-resistant superbug infections, previously limited to a different Los Angeles medical center, and thought to be spread through difficult-to-clean equipment.

The 27th annual Lambda Literary awards finalists, presented to the best LGBT books of the year, have been announced, and two Portland publishers CLEANED UP. Great job, Hawthorne Books and Tin House!

Great news if you're an elephant: After criticism, Ringling Brothers Circus will no longer include elephants in their acts. THAT'S RIGHT, RINGLING BROTHERS.

#thedress: Gold and white or black and blue? WRONG. The real question is if that dress was made with child labor.

Hey, did you ever wonder what True Detective would be like if Rust Cohle was played by Taylor Swift? No? Not at all? Here you go, anyway. Good morning!