Oh, so you were born in Portland? Here's what on I, Anonymous blogger thinks about that...

Bragging that you were born in Portland is like bragging that you are 6'5". You did exactly zero to manifest either one of those realities. Or maybe I'm wrong and you went back in time and became your own father, thus securing your "born here" birth cred. I'm not aware of any exercises that make you taller, but who knows, maybe you have been working on that your entire life and deserve to brag about it, but the Portland thing? Just. Stop. It's embarrassing.

And when it comes down to it, you're not so tall either. You're short, and nobody gives a shit if you were born in Portland. However! We do give a shit about your rants and confessions, so why not drop one off in the I, Anonymous Blog—the tallest blog ever to be born in Portland.