feature4-570.jpg
  • ARTWORK BY VINNIE NEUBERG

Ah, the mighty Decathlon. The name comes from the Greek words for "10" and "feat," and Olympians from around the planet gather every four years to partake in the competition that many deem to be the greatest challenge for any elite athlete... but fuck that.

We decided to undertake an athletic feat that was a little more "us"—the Dabcathlon—since "dabs" are all the rage with the young and fashionable set. ("Dab" refers to the portion size needed to get stoned out of your mind on cannabis extracts with THC levels that can reach 90 percent or more—also see "wax," "shatter," etc.) To do so, we gathered five contestants to each take 10 different types of dabs, then perform a challenge of mental or physical agility to accompany each dose:

Josh, Dabcathlon inventor, coach, and administrator. Mercury cannabis correspondent and author of the weekly Cannabuzz pot column. Professional stoner who outpaces everyone else involved in experience with, and knowledge of, cannabis.

Anna, the paper's youngest full-time staff member, and the only contestant who's ever done dabs before. Smokes daily.

Colin, brother of a longtime Mercury associate and part of the extended family. Smokes daily.

Bri, stand-up comedian and writer, sometimes for the Mercury. Regular pot smoker.

Marjorie, Mercury managing editor and casual smoker.

Steve, Mercury editor in chief. Has not smoked since last year's Mercury Weed Issue.

CONTINUE READING >>>