GOOD MORNING, BLOGTOWN! Like a hammer on the block, love began to rock. Give the sister love and pride, feel good and satisfied. LET'S GO TO PRESS.

If cable TV is something you even consider anymore, CenturyLink has launched their own cable provider service in Portland, giving Comcast their only competition in the market... like... ever. (Prices are roughly the same, so... why exactly would you want to do this?)

Beaverton allows a problem strip club to keep its liquor license if they promise to take an "active stance against child trafficking."

Today's most annoying headline: "Hiker Says He Found Reese Witherspoon's Boot from Wild Film." (Everything about this story makes me say, "BOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!")

Terrorism is being ruled out as a cause of an Amtrak train derailment in Philadelphia that killed six and left others in critical condition.

Thanks to whistle blower Edward Snowden, Congress is preparing to vote on a bill that would stop the NSA from bulk collecting our phone calls.

A second earthquake in Nepal forces desperate and hopeless people to sleep outdoors, fearing what might come next.

Obama's first attempt at passing sweeping trade agreements with Asia and Europe stumbles and falls coming out of the gate, as the vote was roundly put down yesterday by the Senate.

Here we go again: The Madison, Wisconsin cop who fatally shot biracial (and unarmed) teen Tony Robinson will not face charges.

Meanwhile, Arizona police shoot and kill a man allegedly charging at them with a sword, while in NYC, cops shoot a man wielding a hammer.

In North Korea, the country's defense minister is reportedly convicted of treason and publicly executed with an anti-aircraft gun. (That's putting a fine point on it.)

Today Facebook will begin testing a new service—directly hosting articles from news organizations such as the New York Times. As usual, the world of publishing is flipping out over something that will probably not be worth flipping out about. As a group, we're kind of touchy.

Now here's what's going on in your neck of the woods: Clouds and occasional cool showers stick around through tomorrow, but drier and warmer weather is ahead.

And finally, this is the way I answer all of my Jeopardy questions. SNAP!