It's Thursday. Let's launch a fake rocket!

Nope. Let's have some news instead.

Oregon lawmakers are scrambling to put as many rules and regulations on the weed industry as they can before the July 1 legalization date, and they're considering adding a two-year residency requirement for people wanting to invest in the industry.

Oregon forestry workers are scrambling to get the hell out the way of these crazy people hosing them down with weed killer. This Oregonian story names Eugene-based Seneca Jones Timber Co. and the helo company it hired, Applebee Aviation, for the spraying. Shut 'em down, activists.

It's the fourth year of drought for Oregon, and the Klamath Fish Healthy Advisory Team says a major fish kill is likely this summer because of it.

The Islamic State has taken its second city in two weeks, creating concerns for some of the area's most important archaeological sites.

Obama's trade plan is plodding forward in the Senate once again after a 62-38 vote ended a filibuster.

David Letterman's very last show aired last night, and for those of you who watch TV, which is probably a lot, it was a big deal.

An airline baggage handler weed distribution ring, huh? Yeah, they got busted.

Jeb Bush is still totally clueless.

Former Ravens running back Ray Rice got some special treatment from a judge who dismissed the domestic abuse charges leveled against him after he socked his then-fiance in the face.

Here's a video of a parrot with an evil laugh: