GOOD MORNING, BLOGTOWN! Maybe we'll meet at a bar. He'll drive a funky car. Maybe we'll meet at a club. And fall so deeply in love. LET'S GO TO PRESS.

Summertime gang-related shooting season is here, and last night's drive-by shooting was the 25th in May alone.

Three earthquakes—one a magnitude 5.8— hit off the coast of Oregon, though no tsunamis were reported.

The Oregonian continues to publish leering prom pictures. STOP IT. Your tiny thin mustache is showing.

A new analysis conducted by the Guardian shows that black people killed by police are twice as likely to be unarmed as white people.

As the House of Rep's allow parts of the Patriot Act to expire, Oregon's Ron Wyden warns that the NSA may try to worm their way around new intelligence restrictions in their attempts to mine private citizen information.

Don't get too excited, but new clinical trials using powerful drugs have been shown to stop advanced cancer in 58 percent of cases. Okay, fine, get excited!

South Carolina hillbilly senator Lindsey Graham is joinin' the gol' durn prezzydential race! YEEEEE-HAW!!

Another dumb Republican presidential hopeful, Rick Santorum, says that even if the Supreme Court says that gay marriage is okay, Americans should ignore their ruling. BECAUSE HE HATES EVERYTHING AMERICA STANDS FOR.

Meanwhile, the Supremes throw out the conviction of a Pennsylvania man who was making threatening comments to his ex-wife on Facebook.

Vice President Joe Biden's son Beau Biden died this weekend of brain cancer.

Oklahoma state troopers shoot a man, presumably while trying to rescue him from flood waters. Needless to say, it all sounds verrrrry suspicious.

In an attempt to counter criminal charges, an ex-FIFA official cites an Onion article in his defense. Whoops.

As you feared, Kim Kardashian and Kanye West are expecting their second baby.

Now here's what your WEATHER is looking like: Cool and wet today and tomorrow, but that's all the rain you're gonna get for awhile, so enjoy it!

And finally, for some reason this cat is not terrified that she's covered with baby chicks! THE ADORABLE HORROR!!