I cringed hard when I read the letter from the girl about her boyfriend texting his ex. I could easily be the ex she wrote about it, and so I have a slightly different perspective.

1. She needs to consider that it may have been more than sex on his side as well. Telling her it was "just sex" is easier for him to do now.

2. They may have always had a flirty relationship. He may not be responding overtly but he could be subtly encouraging the occasional borderline remark.

3. She may not actually be a damsel in distress. He may get off on being the sympathetic ear.

4. He justifies the ongoing relationship by telling himself (and you) that he's "helping" her.

My ex and I text 20 times a day, and I'm not sure its healthy for either one of us. He dumped me and his continued willingness to be my sympathetic ear and confidante does actually keep me from moving on. I don't have a shitty boyfriend, but my ex probably thinks I do, because every little thing he does, my sympathetic ex hears about it. My ex is my first good morning and my last good night. I spent New Years alone (shitty boyfriend, yes, but there are two sides to every story) and my ex texted me every hour or so, so that I would feel "part of the party." Anyway, when our text become less frequent, or I am becoming less dependent, he will bring up a memory we shared together or say something frustratingly ambiguous.

Your advice was still spot on. They would both be better off if they cut the chord. Whatever is going on, isn't healthy for either one of them. The relationship didn't work for a reason. However, I just wanted to point out that it's entirely possible the ex isn't as pathetic as she seems and while the guy isn't cheating, his feelings may be a bit more complicated than they appear.

Just A Thought

Thanks for sharing, JAT, and... looks like you've got a cord there that needs cutting. So cut it.