Did everyone take their anti-depression medication and watch True Detective last night? (I think I'm gonna start doubling up on my meds.) Anyway, it had a—cue clickbait—very SHOCKING ENDING, and we just have to talk about it! Join me for a full recap after the jump, and chime in with your opinionated opinions as well. LET'S GET CHITTY-CHATTING!

MORE AFTER THE JUMP!

Here's what I'm thinking about last night's episode, "Night Finds You."

1) The show opens with Frankie McMobster (Vince Vaughn) staring at water marks on his ceiling which reminds him of the time rats tried to eat his fingers. (Geez, wonder what he thinks about when he sees a slice of moldy bread?) He recalls being locked in the basement by his drunk dad, who gets arrested, and leaves him down there for four days. He runs out of food, the lights go out, and that's... WHEN THE RATS CAME. (Insert dramatic sting and your eye rolling here.) Anyway, dad eventually returned but not before he repeatedly smashed a rat in his hand, leaving him covered with "rat goo." Now I'm not Freud... but I think it's pretty clear he may have just been masturbating?

2) Meanwhile our three cops are given their marching orders from their bosses. Ani is told to cozy up to "bent" Ray to get more info, Ray asks his corrupt bosses if they actually want him to solve this murder or not (he's told to "respect the duality" of their organization... hey, that's the Mercury motto!), and Pretty Boy Ponch only wants to get the job done so he can hop back on his motorcycle and be mopey. CHEER UP, PRETTY BOY!

3) Ray tries to visit his son, but his ex-wife meets him instead, telling him she's filing for single custody because, "you are a bad person, Ray." And he's like, "Is this because I called him a fat pussy in the last episode?" And everyone at the mall turns around and says, "DUH.... YEAH."

4) Ray and Ani try to get to know each other in their squad car. For example, Ani smokes e-cigs, but Ray lies and tells her she doesn't look like an idiot. (She does.) Annie returns the lie saying, that her bosses respect his work. (They don't.) Then they visit Caspere the Pervert Ghost's old therapist who was wonderfully and creepily played by RICK SPRINGFIELD!!

SQUEEEEEEEEEE!!! I can't even remember what he said, I was so excited. Doesn't matter. Thank you, True Detective!

5) Meanwhile, Frankie McGoombah has decided to stop boring everyone with his rat goo story to obsess about how Caspere the Money-Stealing Ghost stole all of his money, and screwed the monorail deal! He receives absolutely no sympathy from Mayor McVinci, and in desperation starts his own investigation. After discovering the locale of Caspere's second house, he sends Ray (and his mustache) over there to investigate. NOTHING BAD WILL HAPPEN, I BET!

5a.) It needs to be pointed out that the lady singer/songwriter at the dive bar where Frank and Ray meet IS THE WORST MOST DEPRESSING PERFORMER IN THE WORLD, AND WOULD NEVER BE HIRED ANYWHERE EVER AT ANY TIME. Pick up the tempo, Debbie Downer!

6) Pretty Boy McCHiPs visits his mom in the trailer park and brings her some fried chicken. Freud would say that the fried chicken symbolizes mom's weird sexual obsession with her son, and her son's guilt for what they did together and his participation in a "Blackwater"-style security detail in Iraq, where he did some as yet unnamed terrible things, which has caused him more crippling guilt that makes his dick not work, and want to crash his motorcycle. (That's some fried chicken!)

7) Oh, and according to Freud, Ani's e-cigarette symbolizes something terrible that happened to her during her time at her dad's hippie commune, and her fascination/revulsion with hardcore porn. (That Freud's a smart guy.)

8) LET'S JUST GET TO THE MONEY SHOT, CAN WE? Fine. Ray goes to investigate the second residence of Caspere the Double-Mortgage Paying Ghost, and immediately discovers a big pool of blood and music playing. Better put away your gun, Ray! You won't need it in this situation! (Eye roll.) He discovers a sex sling hanging from the ceiling, weird animal masks on the walls, a secret video-recording room, and a shotgun-carrying raven pointing a gun at him, and... WHAAAAAA? A SHOTGUN CARRYING RAVEN POINTING A—KA-BLAAAAM!!! Ouch, that's gonna leave a mark. Oh well, he'll probably survive that, and... KA-BLAAAAM!!! Okay maybe not. Fin.

9) So! Is Ray dead or not dead? (Pro tip: When you murder someone always, always, always put the second bullet in the head. THE MORE YOU KNOW.) I guess we'll find out next week. WHAT DID YOU THINK OF THIS EPISODE? I think I'm becoming a True Detective hate-watcher. Everybody is just so laughably depressed, it's hard to take anyone seriously. Especially when they talk about rat goo. (My condolences if you've ever actually gotten rat goo on yourself.) PUT YOUR OPINIONS IN THE COMMENTS, and I'll see you next week!