You already know this, but just so it's clear: You can't just not bake a cake for gay and lesbian people because of their sexual orientation. Sorry, Sweet Cakes by Melissa. That'll be $135,000.

We're always talking about affordable housing in this town, lately, but how many new, cheap units can we expect in coming years? Here's what the Portland Housing Bureau told us yesterday. Hold them to it.

Help us, Damian Lillard. You're our only hope. Fresh off signing a six-year contract with the Trail Blazers, Dame is off to LA to convince LA to stay in town.


There will be no convincing Wesley Matthews, who's reportedly headed to Dallas.

Hey! The Oregonian rode around with gang cops. We rode around with gang cops two years ago! The first sentences of these two pieces are eerily similar!

"It’s weird sitting here at the base of Machu Picchu while that’s going on." What an interesting way for Oregon's former teacher of the year to react to getting $140,000 from the Multnomah Education Service District stemming from a litany of alleged injustices. I like it because it suggests being at the base of Machu Picchu is a distinctly odd place to be when you're awarded $140,000—weirder than, say, an Antarctic research station or Muncie, Ind. Probably I'm making too much of the quote.

The Goose Hollow Neighborhood Association is down for a little schadenfreude. They could not be more happy that the Oregonian (technically "Advance Central Services Oregon" but same difference) is laying off its printing plant employees and outsourcing their jobs. Because, you know, that building isn't pretty enough.

This Greece situation is spiraling delightfully akimbo. The country's going to hold a referendum vote on a proposed bailout package, and everyone's arguing about it.

Seriously, why are Carolinians still venturing into the sea? Don't they know it's the Summer of the Shark?

Surprise! It's gonna be hot! And I'm being compelled by my employer to go receive free marijuana in the heat. Make your own "baked" jokes, people. I'm not your joke monkey.

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