GOOD MORNING, BLOGTOWN! I was born the son of a lawless man. Always spoke my mind, with a gun in my hand. LET'S GO TO PRESS.

A woman who died in a Portland jail after an overdose of fentanyl is said to be part of a larger suspected international drug conspiracy.

South Albany High School struggles to decide whether they should keep their mascot name, the Rebels. (Just don't name yourselves the ducks or beavers. I've been in the Pacific Northwest for 20 years, and I still can't believe anyone would do something like that.)

Our beloved Timbers have a weeeeee bit of trouble playing FC Dallas—read all the gorey details in Abe Asher's Timbers recap.

Here are some pics from yesterday's Big Float—in which Portlanders flock to the Willamette in innertubes—which as usual, was wicked fun.

Here's the story everyone needs to read today:


Obama finally speaks out against dumbass Republican candidates (in particular, Mike Huckabee) saying their dumbass comments "would be considered ridiculous if it weren’t so sad."

In a very related story, Donald Trump continues to lead the Republican pack according to two national polls. Heh, heh, hehhhhh.

Boy Scout officials are expected to announce today that individual troops can elect their own leaders—which would allow right thinking people to appoint gay people as well as straights—and church-led troops to keep on discriminating based on their antiquated religion. Yay?

During a Cleveland "Black Lives Matter" march, a white transit officer pepper sprays a crowd of protesters. Nope. Nope. Nopenopenopenopenope.

Bobbi Kristina Brown—the daughter of Whitney and Bobby Brown—is dead at the age of 22 after being in a coma for six months.

Now here is a report about THE WEATHER: Clouds peel away for a sunny day with a high of 78... but the HEAT returns later in the week!

And finally, about this supercut... NOW THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKIN' ABOUT!