The Fennica turned around y'all! The massive Shell Oil vessel emerged from Swan Island and set off to the St Johns Bridge this morning, apparently hoping the 13 protesters who've been dangling there since early Wednesday might just move? They didn't, and the ship meekly headed back to dry dock, to the cheers of the crowd, and evident pleasure of one guy who was piloting a motorized parachute around. Portland. Who knows what'll happen next? Shelby's in a kayak under the bridge, and the entire country's watching.

The city's now got a formal plan for how the Central Eastside should change in the next 20 years. Will it result in the decimation of inner Portland industry? Or insufferable keening about noise and odors from condo dwellers who moved into an industrial zone? City commissioners are hoping not.

The city's zoning code enforcers have been trying to create a new computerized records system for years now. It's going really, really badly. As in, years late and millions over budget badly. With blame shared between an outside contractor and city officials.

If you want to feel gut-punched at this early hour, watch the body camera video of a University of Cincinnati police officer murdering an unarmed black motorist, then reflect on the fact that Officer Ray Tensing's side of the story—a complete fiction that he'd been dragged by Samuel Dubose's car (to say nothing of his lying colleague's corroboration of that fiction)—would have gone unquestioned were it not for video evidence. As it stands, Tensing faces a murder charge.

After a year and a half, it looks like we might have found a few pieces of that Malaysian airliner that disappeared in March 2014?

Donald Trump refuses to prepare for next week's Republican presidential debate (or claims he refuses, at any rate). May God have mercy on us all if he holds his own.

City Commissioner Steve Novick—hero to your sleepy school-age children—wants them to start class later in the morning. He's mentioned this before in passing, but it turns out he's actually actively pressing the case with school administrators, marshaling his authority as the city's transportation commissioner and saying teen car crashes will decrease with a later schedule.

A smooth operatin' 911 dispatcher in New Mexico didn't like a teen's tone as she tried to keep her mortally wounded friend alive. So he hung up. (In fairness, he also dispatched an ambulance.)

It's happening again, y'all. Probably for the best the Fennica's trapped here.

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