GOOD MORNING, BLOGTOWN! Shivers down my backbone 'cause my man is back, then my pulse began to race. LET'S GO TO PRESS.

St. Mary's Academy—a private Catholic school in Portland—offers a job to woman, but then yoinks it back after learning she is gay.

Amazon has expanded their Prime Now one-hour delivery service to Portland. "Hello? Yes, I'll take one overworked employee, please."

A new report shows that Portland's traffic is now the 12th worst in the country, with the average driver losing 52 hours per year in their commute. "Hello, Amazon? I'd like one of your drones to take me to work, please."

A manhunt is underway for the person who shot and killed a Virginia reporter and cameraman as they were doing a TV live shot. Police believe the suspect may be a disgruntled employee of the station.

And this just in:

President Obama apologizes to Japan for the Wikileaks claim that the US government had spied on Japanese politicians.

Experts say that Donald Trump's "flawed policies" could threaten the global economy. YOU DON'T SAY.

Donald Trump, that great defender of free speech, orders security to escort a Univision news reporter out of his press conference.

And by the way, Trump now has a 20 point lead over his closest Republican competitor, according to the latest poll.

In the Honduras, a family breaks open their presumably dead daughter's coffin because they suspected she was buried alive. And quite possibly? They were right.

A 14-year-old Virginia boy held his teacher and classmates at gunpoint, before eventually surrendering. See? Guns do keep us safer!

In news of the "WHOOPS!": A 12-year-old trips in a museum and punches a hole in a painting—one that was 350 years old and worth $1.5 million. Whoops.

One of Josh Duggar's LOVAHS has spoken out about her alleged tryst with the Christian hypocrite.

Now here's what's going on in the world of WEATHER: Mostly sunny today with a high of 88!

And finally, here's a GREAT video and piano version of The Walking Dead's theme song.