Dont do drugs, kids.
  • Don't do drugs, kids.

Where there's smoke, there's often fire. But when 29-year-old Portland resident Michael Downey smelled smoke and didn't see any fire, he decided to set his apartment ablaze.

Downey first told police he most certainly did not set paper and metal clothes hangers (what?!) on fire last Saturday in the middle of his Northeast Portland apartment living room, but then changed his story, according to this Oregonian article.

"Actually, I did," Downey admitted.

Downey apparently smelled smoke in the air—like we all did on Saturday, thanks to the dozens of wildfires burning in the Pacific Northwest—and his solution was to spark up a "fire to get rid of the smoke," according to a probable cause affidavit.

A neighbor smelled the smoke coming from Downey's apartment, pushed the door open, and used water to douse the small fire, which left a black mark in the middle of the carpet. I wonder if he'll get his security deposit back.

I know this will come as a total surprise, but when police searched Downey's residence, they found a meth pipe.

He was booked into Multnomah County Jail on charges of first-degree arson and possession of methamphetamine.