If you were planning on taking any foolhardy boating excursions this weekend, it looks like you'll have to reenact scenes from The Perfect Storm some other time. The Coast Guard decided today to close all maritime entrances to the Pacific Northwest due to the non-stop deluge we're currently enjoying experiencing, which has churned up a ton of debris, along with all the other dangers that come with "severe sea conditions."

The Columbia River Bar is closed to all traffic, along with crossings at the Chetco River in Brookings, Coos Bay, the Umpqua River in Winchester Bay, the Siuslaw River in Florence, Yaquina Bay in Newport, Depoe Bay and Tillamook Bay. In Washington, Grays Harbor in Westport and the Quillayute River in LaPush are closed.

“My job as a captain of the port is to ensure safety throughout the maritime infrastructure and part of that is to sometimes close the lanes of traffic that mariners use,” said Capt. Dan Travers, commander of the Coast Guard’s Sector Columbia River and captain of the port for all ports in Oregon and Southwest Washington. “The storms that we all experienced over the last several days have made it dangerous for mariners to transit in and out of our many rivers due to severe sea conditions and debris.”

Let's hope things calm down before there's too much disruption of the commercial activity that depends on this access. You can follow updates here, and seriously, no boating for you. George Clooney or no George Clooney.