This Week in the Mercury

Savage Love

Columns

Savage Love

The Kids Want to Know


This Ain't Tales of the City

Books

This Ain't Tales of the City

Kevin Killian's Spreadeagle Is an Ambitious Novel of Gay Life



Bio Hazard

Friday, March 16, 2012

Bio Hazard: Fucked-Up People, Fucked-Up Show

Posted by D.K. Holm on Fri, Mar 16, 2012 at 11:29 AM

Screen_shot_2012-03-13_at_8.04.26_PM.png
Fucked-up people make for a fucked-up show. That's the implication Saturday Night Live comic Darrell Hammond makes in his new memoir.

SNL comics have burst like humorless spiders from putrid nests into numerous movies, TV shows, stand up tours, and plays, and there have been many memoirs by and bios of these comedians, but no book has addressed the real question that plagues the show: Why isn't SNL funny? Hammond's autobiography, God, If You’re Not Up There, I’m Fucked: Tales of Stand-Up, Saturday Night Live, and Other Mind-Altering Mayhem (Harper) finally provides an indirect answer, especially if his life is held up against books about John Belushi, Gilda Radner, Michael O’Donoghue, Phil Hartman, Chris Farley, and the oral history of the show itself.

In their terrific book about screenwriting, Writing Movies for Fun and Profit, Robert Ben Garant and Thomas Lennon discuss booze and creativity (they’re for them). Booze relaxes you and stimulates new ideas and perspectives; it also drowns trouble when your script goes into turnaround yet again. Hammond took booze to extremes, however, along with cocaine and self-cutting, somehow managing to maintain a healthy work ethic while keeping himself blotto and/or blacking out and ending up in Mafia bars at two in the morning.

Continue reading »

Sunday, January 1, 2012

Bio Hazard: Pee Wee's Less-Than-Playful House

Posted by D.K. Holm on Sun, Jan 1, 2012 at 12:44 PM

peewee.jpeg
We all know someone who looks like Pee-wee. The undersized suit, the close-cropped hair boasting a Tintin-like comma-lick at the crown. The recessively phallic tiny bow tie. The faint sense of make-up, the flushed cheeks, the pouting mouth. Yet also like Pee-wee, there is the raging man hidden within the child who comes out on occasion to scorn, to knife you with words, to bask in hedonistic selfishness. Pee-wee was a kid's show performer for the age: the comedian as borderline personality type.

Paul Reuben's rise as Pee-wee was meteoric. The character grew from a skit for the Los Angeles-based comedy group the Groundlings, then turned into a recurring live show. After a cameo in Cheech & Chong's Next Movie, Reubens starred in an HBO special, based on the Groundlings event, and then Pee-wee's Big Adventure, a film that married the talents of Reubens and another newcomer, Tim Burton. The Pee-wee Herman persona reached its zenith in 1986 with the debut of Pee-wee's Playhouse, a faux children's program aired Saturday mornings on CBS. But Reubens reached a personal nadir in July 1991, in the South Trail Cinema, an adult movie theater in Sarasota, Florida, when around 10 pm a patrolling cop—as the police report chronicles it—"did observe the Def's penis exposed. The Def did begin to masterbate [sic] his exposed penis with his left hand. At approx 2035 hrs, the Def did again expose his penis and masterbate [sic] again." Three other men were also arrested. The film showing was Nurse Nancy.

At which point Pee-wee Herman became a national joke, the subject of Jay Leno monologues. Reubens had another brush with the law in 2002 when he was scooped up in the Jeffrey Jones child pornography scandal thanks to an extensive collection of gay erotica, supposedly mostly men's physique magazines bought in bulk. Since then, Reubens has repaired his career and may do yet another Pee-wee Herman movie.

Continue reading »

Wednesday, December 14, 2011

R. Kelly's Love Letter Cruise

Posted by Chris Cantino on Wed, Dec 14, 2011 at 12:20 PM

rkellycruise.jpg

All aboard!

That's right, it's the R. Kelly cruise. From the McRib-lovin' mind that brought you "Bump n' Grind," Trapped in the Closet, and urinating on underage girls, Carnival is proud to present the Love Letter Cruise, embarking next October for a five day excursion through the Bahamas. If we needed any furthur proof that Kelly is the voice of our generation, this is it.

It isn't cheap (tickets start at $1500), but the cruise features a wealth of entertainment, including a fashion show and modeling contest, mock game show, waterslide fun, and even a wellness seminar! Sounds like a great time to be had by all—let's just hope they chlorinate the fuck out of that pool (because of, you know... the pee).

End Hits: Ridin' that Soula Coaster.

Monday, November 21, 2011

Deux

Posted by Marjorie Skinner on Mon, Nov 21, 2011 at 11:44 AM

Another detail about next weekend's Open for Business sale at the Cleaners (which I also previewed last week). Like so many things that happen in this city, the idea for the event was born as a byproduct of its organizers just hanging out. Alison Hawley, who first came onto the scene as one of the forces behind the bygone Frank James shop (along with prevalent stylist Victoria Mesenbrink), is launching her home-goods project, Nice Work, at the event, and Heather Sielaff is the woman behind cult fragrance line OLO.

So it wasn't long before the two also started kidding about collaborating on a room spray, and that quickly e-/de-volved into a bathroom specific spray that addressed Hawley's semi-OCD obsession with Pine-Sol. Originally they were going to call it "Number Two," but the product that did eventually become a reality (and will also make its limited edition appearance at OFB) got dialed back to the Frenchified "Deux." I had the opportunity to preview the scent over the weekend, which is indeed a fresh and very pine-y, cedar scent, elements that Sielaff points out "happens to be a great neutralizer." I ordinarily think of bathroom sprays as an unnecessary way of dumping more chemicals into your air intake, but this is a far cry from the aerosol cans lined up at Freddy's. It's one of those rare gift items that walks the line between thoughtful and jackass, which is just necessary for certain gift recipients. Like, say, the brother who proudly tricked you into checking out his most impressive contributions to the family toilet back in the day, for instance. Ahem.

deux.jpg

Advertisement

Monday, November 14, 2011

Bio Hazard: DON'T PISS OFF PAULINE KAEL.

Posted by D.K. Holm on Mon, Nov 14, 2011 at 3:59 PM

kael.jpeg
From her perch at the prestigious New Yorker magazine, Pauline Kael ruled movie reviewing for 20 years. She was a "love it or hate it" kind of reviewer, over-praising favored films and directors while disparaging those she viewed as nothing less than crimes against humanity. Top Gun, for example, was "a recruiting poster that isn't concerned with recruiting but with being a poster." She was also a "love her or hate her" writer, dividing readers and other critics along various doctrinal lines. Kael retired in 1991 and died 10 years later, but her disciples continue to have a stranglehold on what is left of national film writing.

Despite her fame or reputation, little was known about Pauline Kael the person. Now, former Oregonian Brian Kellow has been rectified that situation with a new biography, Pauline Kael: A Life in the Dark (Viking). Mr. Kellow throws a great deal of light on the famous critic's heretofore mysterious ways. Some highlights:

• Kael was born on a chicken farm in Petaluma, California, but was raised in San Francisco and became a coffee house bohemian, philosophy student, aspiring playwright, and something of a fag hag.

• Her main relationships were with the poet Robert Duncan (gay); critic Robert Horan (gay); the poet Weldon Kees; experimental filmmaker James Broughton (bisexual), with whom she had a daughter, Gina; and Ed Landberg, operator of an arthouse theater which Kael more or less took over and turned into a platform for her early reviews, in the form of program notes.

• In the early 1940s, Kael and Horan trekked to Manhattan, where they attempted to break into the arts. On their first day there, however, Horan was picked up by a couple outside Saks, who turned out to be the composers Samuel Barber and Gian Carlo Menotti. Horan moved in with them that night, leaving Kael to fend for herself. She fled back to 'Frisco four years later.

• The impecunious Kael married Landberg, which allowed Kael to get necessary heart surgery for her daughter. The marriage lasted a year, or until Landberg discovered that "I couldn't stand that woman."

Continue reading »

Tuesday, October 18, 2011

Sign 'o the Times

Posted by Alex Zielinski on Tue, Oct 18, 2011 at 2:29 PM

Considering popping a squat downtown? Think again:

DSC02177.JPG

I'm used to the "No sleeping/sitting here" signs, but this one definitely cuts to the chase.

Friday, October 14, 2011

Bio Hazard: Blame Nicholas Ray for Emo

Posted by D.K. Holm on Fri, Oct 14, 2011 at 3:07 PM

nicholasray.jpeg
Nicholas Ray invented the teenager. Oh, sure, the biological entity spanning ages 11 through 19 technically existed before the director made Rebel Without a Cause in 1955, but before then, this creature was mocked in homespun Hollywood fare, which rendered them as little more than gum-chewing layabouts with crushes on movie stars. It took Ray to codify the signs of modern teendom: car culture, groupthink, awful parents, inarticulate alienation, sex, high school as a social Darwinist battleground, leather jackets, hair fixations, and even the "gay teen" (you're welcome, Glee). Emo culture would not exist without Ray's spadework.

This weekend, Ray's 1950 noir In a Lonely Place screens at the Fifth Avenue Cinema (showtimes are here), which means now's as good a time as any to delve into his fascinating life. In Nicholas Ray: The Glorious Failure of an American Director (It Books), Patrick McGilligan traces Ray's Zelig-like life: He was a Wisconsin teen roué; a disciple of architect Frank Lloyd Wright; a member of the Group Theater; a collaborator with music folklorist Alan Lomax; a student under the likes of Elia Kazan; a director of Humphrey Bogart (In a Lonely Place), Robert Mitchum (The Lusty Men), and Joan Crawford (Johnny Guitar); a cult-famous person thanks to the writings of the future French New Wave directors in Cahiers du Cinema; and, finally, in New York, a teacher to Jim Jarmusch, among others.

Continue reading »

Thursday, October 6, 2011

Bio Hazard: Ashley Judd Wants to Give You a Condom

Posted by D.K. Holm on Thu, Oct 6, 2011 at 11:29 AM

judd.jpeg
No one matches me in my admiration for Ashley Judd. From her lead role debut in Ruby in Paradise to her superb turn in Heat, to her dignity-stripping appearance in Bug, Judd has proven herself to be an intense and versatile actress, evincing the rare ability to show believable rage on screen. Her fans have stuck with her from powerful performances in thrillers such as Kiss the Girls and Double Jeopardy through thankless "wife" roles in things like A Time to Kill, to utter nonsense such as Eye of the Beholder and Twisted. She is now happily married to an international racecar driver and lives in Tennessee, and her movie career unwinds at a steady film-a-year pace, while she travels to the world's hot spots offering succor to kids via Population Services International, an organization that essentially distributes condoms to stem the spread of AIDS.

Now she has written a book. I wish she hadn't.

Continue reading »

Tuesday, August 30, 2011

Bio Hazard: Lowe Down

Posted by D.K. Holm on Tue, Aug 30, 2011 at 11:59 AM

Screen_shot_2011-08-29_at_12.49.13_PM.png
For the past three years, the off-Broadway production Celebrity Autobiography has staged live readings and reenactments of celebrity memoirs. Passages from books by Suzanne Somers, Tommy Lee, Loni Anderson, and the Jonas Brothers are read by the likes of Craig Bierko, Rachel Dratch, Sharon Gless, and others; the point of the show, apparently, is to surprise audiences with the reality that celebrities really put all this shit into print.

It is unlikely that Rob Lowe's life story will fit into this template. Stories I Only Tell My Friends (Henry Holt and Co.) is an account so dull as to make drying paint yawn. Celebrity watchers might enjoy its cameos of the famous people Lowe has run into from time to time, from Cary Grant to Sting, and aspiring actors will glean lessons from his account of a typical Hollywood career. But Lowe's career is mostly interesting for its scandals, lightly treated here.

Continue reading »

Advertisement

Friday, July 15, 2011

Bio Hazard: The Way He Was?

Posted by D.K. Holm on Fri, Jul 15, 2011 at 9:59 AM

redford.png
Can Robert Redford really be this boring? He's a world-famous sex symbol who was in numerous hits before going on to invent the Sundance Film Festival. Also, being a handsome guy from the febrile '70s and '80s, he must have had to fend off the world's top dishes, right? But from the evidence presented in Robert Redford: The Biography (Knopf), Mr. Redford is stolid, dull, ordinary, and pedestrianly committed to political causes—in other words, just like the movies he’s directed.

Redford more or less collaborated with the book's author, Michael Feeney Callan, and the text has the feel of a long interview spiced with occasional detours to facts, figures, and filmographies. Thus, it doesn't ask the hard questions, such as: Why does Redford take so long to decide on what movies to make, thus hanging up his collaborators? When he does finally choose to join a project, why are they almost inevitably mediocre? Why is he such a difficult and elusive manager of Sundance? And is his "conquest" list as long as Warren Beatty's?

Continue reading »

Monday, June 20, 2011

Bio Hazard: Ice Tease

Posted by D.K. Holm on Mon, Jun 20, 2011 at 10:44 AM

ice2.jpg
We domesticate our bad boys. Like moony schoolgirls crushing on the class rebel, we are drawn to rambunctious evil, like Stefano DiMera on Days of Our Lives or Tony Soprano, because we think we can tame them.

Indeed, in his new memoir, Ice-T comments on the "attracted-to-bad-boys" phenomenon: "I'm going to tell it to you straight—I don’t give a fuck. Little white girls are intrigued by little black boys. You ain't never going to shake that."

In Ice: A Memory of Gangster Life and Redemption — From South Central to Hollywood (One World/Ballantine), Ice T—born Tracy Marrow—recounts his life from comfortable New Jersey suburb to comfortable showbiz life via South Central, an army tour, and hiphop. Since the mid-'70s, Ice-T had been making poems called "Crip Rhymes," and he traces hiphop back to Iceberg Slim, pimp culture, Muhammad Ali, James Brown, and the blues. "To me it was street-level journalism, real-life observations told in poetry."

Meanwhile, Ice-T was leading an "international crime spree" of jewelry stores, using planning skills learned in the army—but hiphop soon supplanted robbery, which led to record deals, which in turn led to a part in New Jack City, and then a 10-year run on Law and Order: SVU and a reality TV show, Ice Loves Coco ("He's a doctor!"), with a side foray into rock controversy with 1992's track "Cop Killer," which, like so much at the time did, infuriated Tipper Gore.

Continue reading »

Sunday, April 10, 2011

Bio Hazard: Raging Bull

Posted by D.K. Holm on Sun, Apr 10, 2011 at 9:57 AM

scorsese.jpg
Welcome to Bio Hazard, a monthly Blogtown column by local film writer D. K. Holm that delves into the best (and worst) in Hollywood-centric biographies. This month: Conversations with Scorsese, critic Richard Schickel's book of interviews with Ol' Eyebrows. —Erik

Does Martin Scorsese ever weary of telling his life story? While doing press for each new film, he submits to a round of interrogations, many of which have been gathered into an anthology, Martin Scorsese: Interviews. And there's a full-volume interview, too—Scorsese on Scorsese—that has gone through periodic updates. Now comes Conversations with Scorsese (Knopf), a book in the tradition of Hitchcock/Truffaut and Cameron Crowe's Conversations with Wilder—a late-in-life summing up.

Conducted by Richard Schickel, the Luddite reviewer for Time, Conversations with Scorsese is built around softball questions pitched by a person who deems himself a friend (he continually calls his subject "Marty") and a peer (Schickel has directed movie history documentaries). For a balanced assessment of Scorsese's career, look elsewhere (like Roger Ebert's recent Ebert on Scorsese), and for gossipy details, consult Vincent LoBrutto's Martin Scorsese: A Biography. Still, in Conversations with Scorsese, one learns from the horse's mouth that:

• Scorsese showed Francis Ford Coppola a print of Mean Streets. The next day, Coppola hired Robert De Niro for The Godfather Part II.

Continue reading »

Monday, March 7, 2011

Bio Hazard: Drunk Tank

Posted by D.K. Holm on Mon, Mar 7, 2011 at 4:28 PM

Screen_shot_2011-03-07_at_3.36.07_PM.png
Bibulous British actors have long been a cliché of the trade, and new biography of history’s most crapulous quartet is probably the most thorough drunk tank log of actorial excess ever.

Like this (occasional) column, Hellraisers: The Life and Inebriated Times of Richard Burton, Richard Harris, Peter O'Toole, and Oliver Reed (Thomas Dunne Books) is an anthology of dissipation. (It's out now in hardcover, but comes out next month in paperback.) Robert Sellers, who has written books about Sting and Tom Cruise, tracks these tanked thespians from childhood on, decade by decade, each chapter rotating among the four in title order. Richard Burton (née Jenkins) was a Welsh rugby aficionado mentored by teacher Philip Burton, whose last name he took and who outlived him; Richard Harris came from a large, well-off family, and was violent and unschoolable; Peter O'Toole, born in Ireland, was raised in Leeds among what he called the "criminal class" (three of his childhood friends were eventually hanged for murder); and Oliver Reed, born in London privilege, grew up a bully whose favorite world was pub culture. Gay or at least bisexuality rumors always clung to Burton (after all, he was married to Elizabeth Taylor—twice), but Sellers doesn't address that possibility. On the other hand, numerous other actors and their boozing enter the main four's obits, and the reader reads corked cameos of Trevor Howard, Peter Finch, and George C. Scott, whose love for Ava Gardner didn't prevent him from trying to slug her — and this on the set of The Bible.

Continue reading »

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

Bio Hazard: Lara Croft, Womb Raider.

Posted by D.K. Holm on Tue, Nov 16, 2010 at 12:28 PM

angelina.jpg
Welcome to Bio Hazard, a monthly uh, semi-regular Blogtown column by local film writer D. K. Holm that delves into the best (and worst) in Hollywood biographies. This month: Angelina: An Unauthorized Biography. —Erik

Does the public truly like Angelina Jolie?

Sure, the actress won an Oscar, has been heralded as sexy in magazine polls, and—at the opposite end of the value spectrum—is a staple of grocery store tabloids. But does anyone ever say, "Let’s watch Tomb Raider again tonight"? Does the public really wonder who she's wearing on the red carpet? Have they memorized her tattoos, or the birth order of her children?

Anecdotal evidence suggests that the public doesn't embrace Jolie as an icon—but the publishing industry does, so now St. Martin's Press has issued Andrew Morton's biography of the 35-year old actress, Angelina: An Unauthorized Biography.

Born into Hollywood royalty as the daughter of actor Jon Voight and his then-wife, Marcheline Bertrand (herself the offspring of a wealthy, snobbish Midwestern family with showbiz ambitions on its maternal side), Jolie had a seemingly typical L.A. upbringing: divorced and feuding parents, a close younger brother in her shadow, a phase as a street Goth, a brief modeling career, and a trip to stardom so speedy it must have been fueled by Satan. As an adult, Jolie seems to have modeled her career after Elizabeth Taylor (numerous husbands swiped from other women), Madonna (multiple reinventions, and a taste for baby collecting), and her own father's political commitment to social amelioration (Voight began as an activist, before falling into the clutches of an oddball family of hustlers and becoming a right-wing proselytizer).

Continue reading »

Advertisement

Friday, June 11, 2010

Bio Hazard: Party Animals: A Hollywood Tale of Sex, Drugs, and Rock 'n' Roll.

Posted by D.K. Holm on Fri, Jun 11, 2010 at 1:55 PM

carr.png
Welcome to Bio Hazard, a monthly Blogtown column by local film writer D. K. Holm that delves into the best (and worst) in Hollywood-centric biographies. This month: Party Animals: A Hollywood Tale of Sex, Drugs, and Rock 'n' Roll Starring the Fabulous Allan Carr.Take it away, D. K. —Erik

Given the current economic climate, we need to live our lives vicariously. No one has any money to spend, no one seems to be having sex (these are two linked enterprises), and people are desperate for parties and decadence. But—for the time being, anyway—we must get our fix of Higher Fun from TMZ.com and and E!, though some additional help comes from writer Robert Hofler’s biography of agent-promoter-producer Allan Carr, Party Animals: A Hollywood Tale of Sex, Drugs, and Rock 'n' Roll Starring the Fabulous Allan Carr (Da Capo Press).

Carr, once upon a time, was Allan Solomon of Chicago—until one day he became a theater producer, then Ann-Margret's manager, then promoter of Tommy and Saturday Night Fever before shepherding Grease from stage to screen. The nadirs of his career were the Village People movie Can't Stop the Music (please try), and the notorious 61st Oscar ceremony in which Carr paired Snow White with Rob Lowe to sing "Proud Mary." He died of liver cancer in 1999, age 62.

Carr was a short, pug-like human being and plastic-surgery recipient who resembled, in both appearance and ambition, Truman Capote, Carr's unofficial mentor in party giving. He was prone to monstrous weight gains (up to 300 pounds) and favored elaborate body-disguising caftans. Carr had an eating disorder—a refrigerator was his bed stand—that resulted in gastric bypasses. He also wired his jaws shut from time to time, though that hardly prevented him from squeezing liver or chocolate cake past his dental hardware. Aside from promoting the careers of various clients, Carr was the architect of a series of lavish parties, whose ephemeral fabulousness are his legacy.

Continue reading »

Thursday, April 29, 2010

Bio Hazard: Star: How Warren Beatty Seduced America

Posted by D.K. Holm on Thu, Apr 29, 2010 at 12:55 PM

warren.jpg
Welcome to Bio Hazard, a monthly Blogtown column by local film writer D. K. Holm that delves into the best (and worst) in Hollywood-centric biographies. First up: Star: How Warren Beatty Seduced America, a tome about how Warren Beatty has boned just about every woman on the planet. Take it away, D. K. —Erik

Warren Beatty has probably fucked your wife. According to Peter Biskind's new biography, Beatty has bedded 12, 775 women, "a figure that does not include daytime quickies, drive-by blowjobs, casual groupings, stolen kisses, and so on." It's possible—even likely—that your wife is there among that brobdingnagian statistic. Go ahead, ask her when you get home.

Biskind's book, Star: How Warren Beatty Seduced America (Simon and Schuster), is the fourth biography of the actor, producer, and Oscar winner. Already the author of histories covering Hollywood filmmaking in the '70s and the '90s, Biskind is unlike other biographers in his complete boredom with psychology, which is perhaps to his credit. He’s largely uninterested in Beatty's motivations; he barely mentions Beatty's childhood in Virginia, where he was merely little Henry Beaty. Biskin is, however, quite interested in gossip, and offers up many facts, or rather "facts," among which are:

• Jane Fonda was usually proficient at oral sex because apparently she could briefly dislocate her jaw (page 15-16)

• Beatty believes that "every woman is a lesbian at heart" (page 161)

• Old women are Beatty's "biggest fetish" (page 138)

Continue reading »

Most Popular I, Anonymous Best of the Merc

All contents © Index Newspapers, LLC

115 SW Ash St. Suite 600
Portland, OR 97204

Contact Info | Privacy Policy | Production Guidelines | Terms of Use