It was beginning to seem like the trail was cold as far as catching the sick fuck responsible for last month's cat stabbings in the NE Woodlawn neighborhood. Then, on Tuesday, a small dog who had been missing since June 25 was found dead in Woodlawn Park. That, at first, wasn't deemed suspicious until further examination revealed that the dog, Benny, had possibly died due to a puncture wound in his neck.
Given that, animal control is now investigating whether there's any connection to the cats (who both survived).
(Also—take this with an I, Anonymous blog-sized grain of salt—but someone over there this morning claims their cat was also stabbed, in Vancouver.)
KATU has the sad video of Benny's case:
On Thursday night, Sarah Shapiro got home and lifted her tomcat, Grand Theft Auto, to find her hands covered in blood. After rushing him to Dove Lewis, she came back for her other, female cat, Alibi, who was also found to have abdominal wounds. Both cats required surgery, and Grand Theft Auto, at last report, is still in the hospital. The wounds appear to have been inflicted by a long, sharp object like a knife.
Shapiro lives in the Woodlawn neighborhood of NE Portland (and is the co-creator of the new Lifetime show UnREAL, which draws on her experience as a producer for The Bachelor and just got a nod of approval from The New Yorker). Woodlawn is close enough to my house that my usual running route goes through it—and way too close to my own cats, who are loving this weather and being able to go outside and cool off with a nice dirt nap under a shrub.
“These wounds were very unusual and unlike anything we typically see, even for cats that spend some of their time outdoors, like Grand Theft Auto and Alibi do,” says the vet who's treating both cats. “The severity of their wounds was not clear from the outside, but once we performed surgery we were concerned that they appeared to have been stabbed. Had they not been treated so quickly, both might have died.”
If you have cats, you should be keeping closer tabs on them until this mystery is resolved—I'm not gonna tell you what that means in your household, but probably no psychopaths can STAB THEM when they're inside. At the least, check them out to make sure they don't have any injuries. These cats' wounds were deep but there wasn't a lot to see from the outside. There's unfortunately no known witnesses to the crime, thus no shred of a description of the perp, but if we keep vigilant and spread the word, hopefully this sucker will get caught.
Even if you're not a cat person, a personality capable of using violence against defenseless animals is extremely dangerous to society as a whole. I hope we can take this fucker down.
Multnomah County Animal Services is investigating. Do call them at (503) 988-7387 if you have any tips, or have pets that turn up with similar injuries.
This just in, a new branch of the Multnomah County Animal Shelter opens today in the far more convenient location of North Portland—their other location is waaaaaay over there in Troutdale, a town where no one has ever been ever. And I'm pretty sure you need a KITTEN, am I right? So according to their press release, this weekend might be the perfect opportunity to snag one:
Multnomah County Animal Services is kicking off a 3-day grand opening event to celebrate the opening of its new Adoption Center in North Portland, located at 2914 N. Lombard. The center will open Friday, June 12 at 10am and be open until 6pm featuring adorable adoptable cats and kittens, plus food and fun for everyone! Through the weekend, the center will be open both Saturday and Sunday, June 13-14 from 10 am to 4pm. The official Grand Opening Ribbon Cutting Ceremony will be Saturday at Noon. All three days will feature music, food including vegetarian options, and entertainment for kids and adults alike.
And since adorable cat/kitten videos are the primary currency of the internet, Multnomah County Animal Services produced this high-octane movie trailer featuring some of their adoptable residents to celebrate their grand opening. ENJOY!
Who says Republicans can't take a joke? After seeing this week's "New Column!" in the Mercury—titled "Will Someone Please Adopt... SCRUFFLES, THE GOP KITTEN?"—the Multnomah County Republicans decided to post a rebuttal column of sorts on their blog called "WIMPY, THE PORTLAND MERCURY KITTEN." Here's a taste!
Meet Wimpy, the Portland Mercury Kitten. He's a two-month-old, ginger tabby who loves warm snuggles. Also...
• Wimpy is a committed atheist who worships government scientists instead of God, and knows that anyone who questions anything a government scientist says must have something seriously wrong with them. Wimpy firmly believes that only by doing everything that government experts tell us can we avoid an environmental apocalypse.
• Wimpy loves wrestling with balls of yarn, and giving affectionate "head butts" during cuddle time.
• Wimpy is terrified that fossil fuel use is about to put Portland deep under water, since he cannot swim, and believes that we need to pay billionaires to make poor quality low carbon fuels that no one wants to keep the polar ice caps from melting.
Oh, and there's a lot more here! In all, I'd say this was a valiant effort—considering the GOP's past experience with the concept of "humor"—though I would advise them to focus on making their jokes a bit tighter and not so wordy. And maybe not plagiarize so much? But otherwise, a solid C+ (which is like two grades higher than they usually get... so YAY!) Also? Super cute kitten!
Fact: Purringtons Cat Lounge, Portland's first-ever CAT CAFE, was impossible to get into on its opening weekend last month. Believe me, I tried in vain to get a reservation, but occupancy is limited, for, you know, SAFETY. But I finally got my act together, and am happy to report that all of my cat-related wishes came true, and yours probably will too. Frequent Mercury contributor Suzette Smith joined me in this very important reporting. Together, we ranked Purringtons Cat Lounge—scoring out of a possible five cats—in three key categories: ease of use, health and safety, and, most critical of all, quality of cats. Here, at last, are our findings:
EASE OF USE: 3 OUT OF 5 CATS
SUZETTE SMITH: When I arrived, the staff at Purringtons thought they'd lost my reservations, and that there have been some bugs with their online reservation system. I’m in agreement. The staff are all wearing shirts with cats on them or something about cats on them. I have choices between tea, coffee, Mexican Coke, Meowmosas (yep) or just regular old non-cat-themed beer. Health department rules demand that cats not be permitted into the food prep area, but once you have your crackers plate you can take it into the lounge with you. Throughout our visit a lone man perched in the entry area, and watched the people inside the cafe.
MEGAN BURBANK: Admission into the cat cafe is $8 for an hour, or in our case, $6 each for 45 minutes thanks to our reservation weirdness. $8 seems steep, especially if you get a snack, too. But I guess that's about equivalent to seeing a movie, and probably a better guarantee for mood-boosting, because YOU GET TO HANG OUT WITH CATS!
More adorableness and hard-hitting reporting after the jump.
You heard right: Portland's premiere cat cafe, Purringtons Cat Lounge, opens
tomorrow a week from tomorrow! If you're unfamiliar with the concept of cat cafes, they are just like regular cafes, except for one tiny detail: THERE ARE CATS YOU CAN PET. From the Purringtons Cat Lounge website:
Purringtons Cat Lounge will be the premier petting palace in P-town for kitty lovers slated to open up by the first of the year 2015! We will be located at a super cool renovation at 3529 NE MLK. As we partner with Cat Adoption Team, these felines will be in thee best spot while waiting to be adopted. The humans who visit them will be offered some of Oregon’s finest locally roasted coffees, microbrews, wines and teas. Not to mention edible delights to round out your experience.
We're not talking scrappy used bookstore cats either; these are specially-trained cats, who the cafe staff will ensure are "kind to each other, friendly with people, and up-to-date with vaccinations and medical treatments," and they're also adoptable, so if you bond with a cat over your glass of wine, you might get to keep it! Their website also has an amazing FAQ section, that clarifies that outside cats are not allowed at Purringtons, you know, SO DON'T GET ANY IDEAS:
Will people be able to bring their cats to Purringtons?
This one comes up quite frequently! We are pretty sure your cat or cats are really cool, but we cannot allow outside cats into Purringtons. Getting cats to get a long without having a chance to get to “know” each other would create safety concerns for our resident cats and visitors. Also, to comply with health department codes, we must have strict rules on how the shelter cats are brought in and when they leave after being adopted. The cats at Purringtons will be provided to us by Cat Adoption Team and will be selected based on their ability to hang out with other cats and people.
As for me, I live in a building that only allows adult cats "with excellent references," so it's only a matter of time before I'm lifting a cup of tea to a new friend at this establishment.
Yay! The Pixie Project non-profit animal adoption center and rescue is having a fundraising Pixie Party on Sun Oct 19 at Coopers Hall. A decidedly food aggressive event, there will be plenty of gorge-ables from the likes of St. Jack, Ataula, Clyde Common, Lardo, Chefstable, and Salt & Straw.
AND! The evening will also feature a performance from my boss Wm Steven Humphrey's favorite musical act IN THE WORLD, the Von Trapps! So I guess we'll know where he'll be that night. And now I'm going to dive into the cute k-hole of adoptable pets for a bit.
Oooh, look who I found!
Anyhow, it's a fundraiser, so tickets are on the high side, and by "high" I mean $150. However, the Pixie Project is also affiliated with the Fetch line of eyewear, and each ticket purchase will include a $95 credit, which is essentially a free pair of designer frames (act fast, though—that offer expires on Friday, October 10, 2014 at midnight). Plus, of course, you'll help out the sweet critters like Eloise up there. Purchase here.
Guys! Don't let this week's issue of the Mercury ride out over the horizon before checking out our second annual Pet Issue feature! The adorable illustrations by Susie Ghahremani are reason enough alone to treasure it:
In honor of the tightness of our bonds, we explored some of the more extreme paths pet ownership can take, from the pros and cons of adopting wildlife creatures, to a guide on what to do if your pet has a medical emergency. We also went beyond food, water, and poop-scooping to look at next-level pet projects like creating photo stories from your cat's perspective and polishing up your canine (or horse) massage tactics. We also spoke to someone with an extreme animal job working as part of the Humane Society's rescue team, and coughed up a pretty extreme rant about Portland's propensity for pets as trends.
From the Hollywood Reporter:
The live-action project, "Grumpy Cat's Worst Christmas Ever," will bring "fun and irreverence" to the network, says Lifetime exec Arturo Interian.
Lifetime is casting the voice of Grumpy for the live-action project, which will shoot this summer. The cable network said the movie, which Interian describes as "a little Home Alone and a little Die Hard," would also feature cameos from other famous Internet memes.
Does anything else need to be said about this? I didn't think so.
Need to get caught up on the first season of Orange is the New Black for the season two rollout that debuted today on Netflix? Like adorable cats? YOUR PRAYERS HAVE BEEN ANSWERED. Presenting: Tabby is the New Cat. (I give these things to Alison Hallett every week instead of paychecks.)
In case you missed the memo, TNT is a daylong orgy of tacos made by some of the city's finest (La Taq, Mi Mero Mole, Xico, and Bunk Sandwiches), tequila drinks fashioned by local bar stars (Hale Pele's Blair Reynolds, Emily Mistell of Rum Club, Jacob Grier, and Tender Bar's Lydia Reissmueller), and music from Tiburones and War 'n' Buffett, a supergroup (members of Viva Voce, Blind Pilot, Genders, Los Lobos, Magic Mouth, and A Year Afar) mashing up War songs with Jimmy Buffett songs. Yes, really!
If that's not sweet enough, donate just five bucks (or more... you should probably donate more) to DoveLewis at the event and you'll be entered to win a prize courtesy of 901 Tequila: A whopping $200 gift certificate to Bar Bar AND two tickets to see JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE November 20 at the Moda Center. EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
(Get your tickets to the event ($15 advance, $25 day of event) right here, and be sure to RSVP to TNT: Tacos 'n' Tequila on Facebook to find out about juicy new developments such as this as they happen!)
A few months back it was revealed that plans were underfoot for a cat cafe in Portland, a la the ones popular in Japan, where people can seek feline refuge from their cramped, pet-inconducive apartments. Purringtons Cat Lounge and Cafe promises a cushy holdover for adoptable cats and a destination for those who love them, serving, coffee, tea, beer, wine, and snacks. Doesn't it sound wonderful? Of course it does. That's why I had this same idea like four years ago, which I subsequently gave up on after becoming discouraged at the amount of start-up capital that would need to be involved. Not so with Purringtons! They are sallying forth with a Indiegogo campaign for the venture:
And while ordinary folk tossing coin at this is great, I still kind of can't believe some of Portland's restaurant/bar/coffeeshop seed investment money (which I know has got to be out there) isn't all over this. If we can sell dick doughnuts and bone marrow ice cream in this city, so had better believe we can do it even better with cats. Nonetheless, with just over two weeks to go, Purringtons has reached only six percent of it goal. If you know any eccentric, moneyed cat ladies, now's the time to give them a call.
FINALLY! A cat worth owning!
Metal Cats, out today, is a collection of portraits featuring metal musicians posing with their cats—the book features members of Isis, Cattle Decapitation, Napalm Death, Gypsyhawk, and so many more. Sometimes the human in the picture is pretending to eat the cat, sometimes the cat is trying to eat the human, sometimes the cat is eating ice cream, sometimes the cat is turning down a hit from a bong. Every picture causes me to simultaneously laugh and squee. It even has a few locals in the mix, including members of Book of Black Earth, Akimbo, and Skarp!
If there is just one thing you should know about Saturday night's Portland Fashion Week show, it is that Brady Lange took the grossest, cat-patterned, possibly-meant-for-upholstery-purposes fabric from the grandma section of Mill End and turned it into a moto jacket (plus matching pants) that has become possibly the most coveted piece in the history of PFW thus far.
If there's room in your brain for a few more things, too, my recap of Day 2 is up now over on MOD.
Meat certainly isn't the only progressive pet food supply store in town, and it probably isn't the first to emphasize a raw meat diet for your critters either, but it was Meat's Heidi Liedeker who has shaped my approach to cat nutrition. I love and trust her store so much that even though it no longer makes geographical sense, I still travel halfway across town to stock up. And while I can find a similar range of products elsewhere, Meat's always had a slightly more punk/hipster/whatever vibe than more yuppified establishments I can think of, and has continually demonstrated support and generosity for like minded causes, from pit bull defense to the Pogo Fund.
Meat's now going into its third expansion, and have what seems like a distinctly unplanned-for Indiegogo campaign up to help fill an unanticipated gap in their funding after having exhausted the banks and personal loan options. The video is distinctly no-frills, consisting mostly of lo-fi footage of Liedeker explaining the history of her business and its current situation while fighting back tears. They're a long way from reaching the 60k goal: With four days left they've raised $15,740 (though they get to keep whatever they do make). I have a feeling a lot of people who patronize her store might not be aware of what they're facing—I don't think I've ever seen it with less than three other customers inside, usually with dogs in tow. I know Liedeker would respond with sympathy and generosity to any one of her customers (furry or otherwise) in crisis, so if you have any connection to her or her store, you might want to hear her out:
Guess what? This is what it sounds like when a large and angry housecat swats at a baby and then chases the baby's parents into a condominium bedroom—prompting those frightened and nervous parents to make a sheepish call to 911 for relief.
Now you know. (Thanks, KGW!)
Hey, it's STUPID CAT FRIDAY, y'all! And just take a look at this stupid, stupid cat! HEY, STUPID CAT! You do know that fish is behind glass, right? HA! Of course you don't, because you don't even know what glass is! Well, let me drop a little "Glass 101" knowledge in your kibble—THIS PARTICULAR GLASS IS THICK, STUPID! LIKE YOUR STUPID CAT HEAD! And... and... actually? Forget what I just said.
Get the fishy, stupid cat! Go on! Get the delicious fishy!!
HAHAHAHAHAAAAAAA! Stupid cat.
Two cat-related things from Kickstarter that make me happy I live in this city.
1. "This is not just another cat toy. Egg is a cat companion. It mimics and responds like a living animal."
2. "Hi, we’re the Doubleclicks, and we write songs about things like dinosaurs, Dungeons & Dragons, love, books, and cats. We also have a cello, and we’re sisters."*
*One of the Doubleclicks, Angela Webber, is our videogame blogger. We like them.
Two of the internet's favorite grumpy grouches finally face off in a to-the-death grumpy grouch-off! In this corner, it's reigning heavy-weight grumpy champion OSCAR THE GROUCH. And in the other corner, it's brash young upstart and internet-beloved grouchy feline, GRUMPY CAT. Who shall emerge victorious?!? (Trust me, you will. Because this is nothing but goddamn adorable.)
Portland's Audubon Society has announce the public release of two peregrine falcons who were found ailing in N Portland in mid-September. Turns out there was a rash of botulism (!) at Smith and Bybee Lakes this summer, and the birds "had likely fed on contaminated waterfowl."
That's no bueno, but the good news is that the birds are now completely rehabilitated, and will be released at 11 am tomorrow morning in Kelley Point Park, and the public is invited to witness their majestic reintroduction to the wild. Which falcons are peregrine falcons? Oh, just the world’s fastest animal ones, NBD. You know:
The birds have apparently been training for the big day in the Audubon's "flight cage"—hit the jump for a couple more pics!
As Marjorie mentioned last week, the Oregon Cats Classic was happening in town over the weekend. In an inspired attempt to claw the cat-lady-in-chief reins from Alison Hallett, I pointed and yelled something about Cheryl Strayed, and while she was distracted, I swiped her beat.
And it. Was. Glorious.
Click for more cats. You know you want to.
This weekend (Saturday and Sunday) is the Oregon Cats Classic, which involves cats competing in agility courses and being examined and judged for thing like the sheen of their coats and temperament, and some really impressive graphic design:
Cat shows are obviously a squee fest for anyone who geeks out over the animals themselves, but it is also some of the most amazing people watching you will ever have a chance to see. Cat show people
Case in point is an odd little internet road I wandered down yesterday (via some suggestion from Erik) known as the website for Chanan, the husband/wife duo who have been in the business of cat photography for 35 years (they'll be taking the official photos at this weekend's proceedings). Specifically the magnificently TMI bio page, which tells of how they double dated in their youth and of the year that they "moved into a larger home with facilities for a studio and office
separate from their living quarters," and the frustrating period of "seven intense years of trying to conceive." That's right. Intense. In conclusion, go to the cat show, especially if you have never been to one. And maybe smoke some weed first. It will be delightful.
The Most Famous Painter in the World takes on a daring new subject.
A fishing boat exploding off the coast of Oregon—but two kitties (and their owners) managed to survive the blast:
PORTLAND, Ore. (AP) — When the engine of their tuna boat exploded last week, owners Mark and Cynthia Schneider had no choice but to jump into the ocean and leave behind their two cats on the doomed vessel.
After being rescued by a nearby boat, they were stunned when they looked out at their sinking boat and saw one of the cats — a tabby named Jasper — on the bow. The other cat, a calico named Topaz, was in the ocean and eventually swam through the debris to safety on the rescue boat.
Jasper remained stranded at sea on the bow. As the boat sank deeper into the ocean, he was forced to jump in and swim toward his owners about 100 yards away. The cat made it to safety unharmed.
The story notes that the couple lost $40,000 worth of tuna when the boat sank, fish that was "destined for New Seasons Market." So, sorry if there's a tuna shortage at New Seasons—BUT AT LEAST JASPER AND TOPAZ ARE OKAY!
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