From the Dept. of Shameless Self Promotion:
Tonight at the Blue Monk, I'm participating in the 7th installment of the reading series Soft Show, for their "Breakfast for Dinner"-themed edition; I was requested to read some of my more controversial thoughts on breakfast food, which I will do (spoiler, I do not like it).
The show's got a fun hook: Organizers have enlisted local artists to provide live, on-the-spot illustrations for each reader, which will be project during the reading. If you saw Picture This at Bridgetown this year, same idea. I hope someone draws an anthropomorphized penis during my reading.
Readers include Perfect Day Publishing's Michael Heald, comics writer Leia Weathington, and writer Daniel Bullard-Bates; art will be provided by Lucy Bellwood, Pete Soloway, and Emily Randazzo. Fun starts at 7 pm tonight at the Blue Monk, and it's FREE! Maybe I'll see you there.
Guys! You're looking for something fun to do with the visiting family (or on your own) tonight and tomorrow, right? Consider seeing me and the most talented funny people in town in Rudolph—On Stage! It's an adaptation of the classic 1964 stop-motion animated classic, Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer. OH, SO BELOVED! And it's got all your faves: Rudolph, Hermey the (dentist) elf, the Abominable Snow Monster—and me as the snowman Burl Ives. It's a funny and faithful rendering, AND you can even bring the kids without having their ears burned off by obscenities. IT OPENS TONIGHT, and will play tomorrow as well, so get your tickets here!
RUDOLPH: ON STAGE!
House opens at 7 pm, show at 7:30 pm
Sat and Sundays through Dec 21
2257 NW Raleigh
There are a bazillion Christmas shows happening around Portland this year. There are so many, PCS couldn't decide on just one (see upcoming piece by A Hallet for a full list). But there's one in particular I want to draw your attention to: A Nightmare on Elf Street, the holiday themed sketch show at the Brody Theater. It's really good (I can promise that because I'm one of the writers).
It's kindof like a Christmasy version of Arabian Nights. Santa has been kidnapped and he has to tell stories of holiday cheer to stay alive. The stories get darker as his chances of surviving go down. Will he survive? Of course, it's a fucking Christmas show. But just how he'll survive, that's the real surprise. Also it has this awesome art:
A Nightmare on Elf Street
December 6 - 21
Fridays and Saturdays at 7:30pm
Now that all that HUMP filthiness is finally over, I am free to promote actual super important stuff... AKA my theatrical career!! If you saw me in Road House: The Play, you may have thought "Meh, he's okay." And if you saw me in The Lost Boys: Live! you may have said, "Well, that was better." This time you may actually say, "Okay, this is a definite improvement," when you see me in the funnest holiday show of the year, Rudolph—On Stage!
That's right, it's a staged adaptation of the 1964 stop-motion animated classic "Rudolph, the Red-Nosed Reindeer" (that's the one where Santa is a real dick)—and it's brought to you by Bad Reputation Productions, the same evil minds who staged Road House and The Lost Boys! WHO AM I PLAYING? Well, see if you can pick me out of the lineup below:
This thing stars some of the funniest people in town, such as The Liberators' Shelley McLendon, John Breen, and Tony Marcellino as well as local improvisational gods Jed Arkley, Michael Fetters, and more! Also... ME. So mark yer calendars because Rudolph: On Stage starts the weekend after Thanksgiving and runs every weekend through December 21. Note: Bad Reputation shows are always super popular and sell out quick, so get your tickets now!
DON'T MISS RUDOLPH—ON STAGE! Or as Santa tells the singing elves in Rudolph, "Needs work. I've got to go. (SLAM!!)"
Think you get too much of me during the week? Well, wait until you see this weekend! I AM PERFORMING IN TWO SEPARATE EVENTS THIS WEEKEND, AND IT WILL BEHOOVE YOU TO ATTEND ONE, BOTH, OR NONE. The details from the Mercury arts calendar:
Back Fence PDX: Design Week
When: Fri., Oct. 11, 9 p.m.
A Russian Roulette-style storytelling event with a fashionista bent, featuring Shelley McLendon, Adam Arnold, Kate Bingaman-Burt, Nicole J. Georges, Barbara Holm, Aaron Rayburn, Wm. Steven Humphrey, and Leather Storrs.
The Secret Society, 116 NE Russell
That's a great lineup, and these events are always verrrrry fun and funny. TRY TO COME TO THAT! Now let's continue our "Weekend with Humpy" tour with Saturday night's event, courtesy of Alison Hallett's My, What a Busy Week entry:
SATURDAY, OCTOBER 12
CABARET—If you haven't seen Mercury Editor in Chief Wm. Steven Humphrey's world-famous Taylor Swift puppet show, you'd better hustle your bustle to tonight's installment of vaudeville/variety show Miz Kitty's Parlour, for the last public performance of one of the most awe-inspiring artistic achievements of the modern era. (Also, music! Flappers! Other old-timey stuff!) AH
Mission Theater, 1624 NW Glisan, 7 pm, $12-15
Did you see that? Where Alison said, "one of the most awe-inspiring artistic achievements of the modern era"? That's not hyperbole, my friend—THAT'S FACT. (Plus there will be also be singing, dancing, and a foot-stompin' New Orleans-style brass band. FUN!) And I'm retiring this show after this performance, so move it or lose it. And finally on Sunday:
Join Wm. Steven Humphrey at his house this Sunday morning, as he rises hungover from bed at 11:30 am, stumbles around the kitchen blindly searching for coffee that isn't there, before finally screaming "FUCK IT!!!", doing a bong hit, dropping an Ambien, and falling back asleep for the rest of the afternoon.
I guess I'll be seeing you this weekend!
I distinctly recall telling you people the last time I was going to perform my non-award winning Taylor Swift puppet show... and yet? Some of you didn't show up. And get this for an excuse... apparently a few of you thought I was just making a joke. Well, let me say for the record...
I AM NOT JOKING.
Tonight you have another extremely rare chance to see my awe-inspiring and absolutely REAL Taylor Swift puppet show, along with an all-star lineup of equal or better entertainments including host Dan Kennedy (of NYC's The Moth), Arthur Bradford, the Mercury's most adorable man-eater Barbara Holm, author Kevin Sampsell, and so much more in the latest installment of ENTERTAINMENT FOR PEOPLE.
That's Entertainment for People, TONIGHT, at Disjecta (8371 N Interstate) door and drinks at 7 pm, show at 8 pm, and since these babies sell out like clockwork, it would behoove you to get your tickets here. There you will see my Taylor Swift puppet show... which is REAL. Soooooo REAL!
Hi friends, I'm taking off my Mercury hat but leaving on my Mercury fingers to tell you about tomorrow's installment of Comics Underground, the quarterly comics reading series that Erik Henriksen and I produce.
We've got a great show tomorrow night: Periscope Studio member Terry Blas will be presenting an excerpt from his charming webcomic Briar Hollow; cartoonist Kory Bing has a story from her long-running fantasy/adventure/coming-of-age comic Skin Deep (I dare you to start reading it and not lose half your afternoon); and Eisner-winner Greg Rucka will talk about his new—and totally badass—comic Lazarus (pictured above).
It's going to be a fun show, and if history has anything to say about it, it'll be packed—which is why we're offering ONE LUCKY WINNER a chance to win two tickets, and a pair of reserved seats at the Jack London. All you have to do is email me your name by 10 am tomorrow for your chance to win, with SPOT SAVED in the headline of your email. I'll notify the winner in the morning; everyone else, the show is tomorrow (Thursday) at the Jack London Bar, 529 SW 4th, underneath the Rialto; doors at 7:30 pm, show at 8ish, tickets $3-5 sliding scale.
Conflict-of-Interest Pony requires us to point out the connection between North Portland watering hole the Old Gold and the Portland Mercury—the bar was built on the burial ground of all our former music editors, or so the legend goes—but Beer-Drinkin' Burro also insists that we tell you about the awesome thing they've got planned for tomorrow with Double Mountain Brewery.
When the Old Gold first opened its doors back way back in 2011, the first drink they sold was Double Mountain's Vaporizer. It's been a staple of their taps ever since. And tomorrow, May 23, starting at 4 pm, the Old Gold is letting the Hood River brewery take over several of their taps, which means four Double Mountain beers will be pouring at all times. I'm told they'll have some super rare beers that you won't be able to get anywhere else in Portland, plus food specials, as well as OG's customized whiskey pairings. If you're looking for a beer tomorrow, you know where to go.
The Old Gold, 2105 N Killingsworth, Thurs May 23, 4 pm-close
Here's what our friends at Portland Police Bureau public relations have been whipping up today. I'm not even being judgmental. This pleases me.
I've got a pair of tickets to give away to tonight's fundraiser for Action/Adventure Theatre, the fine folks responsible for the popular shows Fall of the Band, Troll 2: The Musical, and Late Night Action with Alex Falcone.
Action/Adventure invited local writers like Chelsea Cain, Ian Karmel, and Live Wire's Courtenay Hameister to create an original piece of flash fiction, and then handed each piece off to a performer or ensemble who was challenged to create an original work inspired by the writing.
Tonight's show will feature readings followed by short performances; performers include Atomic Arts (Trek in the Park), Trip the Dark, Portland Experimental Theater Ensemble, and the duo behind the recently debuted musical Water Man, who've created an original mini-musical just for tonight.
Plus, music from everybody's favorite nerd-pop duo The Doubleclicks! (They're the best.)
To win a a pair of tickets to tonight's show, email me with "Inspired By" in the headline by 2 pm today; I'll contact the winner shortly thereafter. Tickets will also be available at the door, $12-15, and online here.
Inspired by is tonight at the Secret Society Ballroom, 116 NE Russell, 8 pm.
(Full disclosure: I have a gajillion conflicts-of-interest with this show, most notably that my boyfriend organized it.)
Former Arkansas Governor and gay-marriage opponent Mike Huckabee has called you “unnecessarily rude, vile, and angry.” Agree or disagree?
I think I’m necessarily rude, vile, and angry. Mike would be too if people were going around describing his marriage as an abomination and his love for his spouse as sick, sinful, and perverse. That would piss Mike Huckabee off. No one is saying that to Mike Huckabee, but Mike Huckabee is saying that to me.
Have you ever felt that being less...
Less pugnacious? Less of an asshole?
...might serve your cause better?
This is who I am, and this is how I speak and write and feel. I am, like a lot of LGBT [lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender] people, past the point of feeling obligated to be flawlessly and faultlessly polite at all times to people who say that I am an abomination. Yeah, maybe I say it in a more vulgar fashion. A movement for social justice needs all types; if you want a kind, hand-wringing, polite response to a Mike Huckabee, that’s what Human Rights Campaign press releases are for.
[This blog post brought to you by the Mercury's Department of Self Promotion.]
Every couple months, Mercury Senior Editor Erik Henriksen and I put on an event called Comics Underground, which combines live performance and comic books and booze and fun. For this month's show, we're partnering with Dark Horse Comics for a special Will Eisner-themed edition of Comics Underground, in conjunction with other Will Eisner Week celebrations organized by Dark Horse.
All of the guests at tomorrow's show will be reading stories from Will Eisner's Last Day in Vietnam. The lineup is... pretty good.
• MATT FRACTION, architect of the Marvel Universe, writer of The Invincible Iron Man, and creator of the beloved high-concept spy comic Casanova.
• BRIAN MICHAEL BENDIS, yet another architect of the Marvel Universe, writer of Ultimate Spider Man and creator of the beloved superhero noir comic Alias.
• MICHAEL AVON OEMING, a creator and artist on numerous projects including the Eisner-winning series Powers.
• DYLAN MECONIS, creator of the brainy historical graphic novel Family Man and the vampire-themed spoof Bite Me.
• KELLY SUE DECONNICK, writer of a number of Marvel Comics titles, including the well-received Osborn miniseries and Avengers Assemble.
• ERIK NEBEL, creator of War and Peace: The Comic, which is just what it says it is.
We're pretty excited. I'll put a random Blogtown reader on the list with a plus one—just email me by 4 pm today with "Eisner" in the subject line, and I'll email you back if you've won.
Or, if you'd like to see the show the old fashioned way—by exchanging dollar bills for entertainment—it's a mere $3-5 sliding scale at the door.
Comics Underground is tomorrow (Thurs March 7) at the the Jack London Bar (529 SW 5th) at 8 pm. $3-5, and doors open at 7:30. We suggest getting there then if you enjoy things like "sitting down" and "being able to see."
Mercury contributor Alex Falcone had a pretty meaty role on the new episode of Portlandia—he plays the pen-spinning editor pitching a story about Portland's Manliest Man.
The amazing thing about this clip—in which Alex plays a character clearly based on Wm. Steven Humphrey, Steve pitches that Manly Man idea like EVERY WEEK—is that last night on Alex's live local talk show Late Night Action, he actually did interview Portland's Manliest man. In Alex's interview with chainsaw-wielding mascot Timber Joey, we learned that Joey's ridiculously manly past includes lumberjackery (?), rodeo-ing (?), and professional rugby playing (that one's for sure a word). Oh, and he recently got into yoga.
Bobby Roberts was also on the show, talking about his new podcast Welcome to That Whole Thing, and the 47 members of Harlow and the Great North Woods played a great set. The highlight of last night's show for me, though, was seeing Britney Spears' "Toxic" as performed by a spot-on Liza Minnelli impersonator. Did you guys know Portland has a really good Liza Minnelli impersonator? We do!
Tonight's the last night of Late Night Action's current run. (It'll be back at some point.) My conflicts-of-interest with this one run pretty deep—starting with Alex being a Mercury contributor, ending with my boyfriend helping to produce the show—so maybe I'm not your most reliable witness, but I think it's a super fun little show with a great mix of comedy, music, and interesting local guests. Tonight, former Mercury reporter/current dead-to-us Bitch online editor Sarah Mirk. And Liza's back! The show's at 9 pm tonight at Action/Adventure Theatre, 1050 SE Clinton. Tickets are here.
Last week I actually asked Matt Zaffino and Erik Henriksen some questions from you guys during my live talk show Late Night with Alex Falcone, and it went surprisingly well. I mean, I didn't ask the blowjob questions, but the ones I did ask were great. This week I'm going to give you another chance AND as an added bonus I'm going to give away TWO TICKETS to my favorite question. E-mail me your questions here and I'll notify the winner by noon tomorrow. Both shows are this weekend at Action/Adventure Theatre (1050 SE Clinton St).
Friday night at 9pm I'm interviewing NY Times best selling author Chelsea Cain. What would you ask somebody who writes thrillers set in Portland? (Also the Doubleclicks are playing. Squee.)
Saturday at 10:30 I'm interviewing Scott Allie of Dark Horse Comics. What questions do you have for somebody working on the Buffy comic book series?
GUYS! I was lucky enough to be invited to participate in a very fun project this coming Thursday (Jan 31) at 8:30 pm at the Jack London Bar. It's called "CHAD Chats"—and if you're unfamiliar with it, it's a bonafide hoot! A parody of the parody-ripe TED Talks series, it's a bunch of power-point lectures on a bunch of satirical, absolutely ludicrous subjects. And this time around, the topic is "SPACE!" and it's stacked with very funny performers including Andrew Dickson, Scott Rogers, B. Frayn Masters, Danny Norton, Whitney Streed and organizer Mykle Hanson.
Oh, and ME, too! The title of my presentation is "Murdering Monkeys and Robots Today Will Save the Future of Tomorrow Then"—which everybody thinks is satirical, but actually is not. It actually MAKES A LOT OF SENSE, and you can see why if you attend CHAD Chats this Thursday! It's only $7 in advance, and $10 at the door. For more info, hit these blue words. Hope to see you there!
Hey, guys. I just wanted to let you know about this gigantic conflict of interest that we're going to have starting this weekend. Tonight and tomorrow night at 9pm, my Conan-style talk show called Late Night Action w/ Alex Falcone is returning for its second season at the Action/Adventure Theater (1050 SE Clinton). The Mercury is sponsoring it, several writers are guests, and my name is on the show so it's a violation of journalist ethics for me to tell you to get your tickets here.
Because of the involvement of the paper, it's impossible for me to write an unbiased review about the show (which runs Fridays and Saturdays through February 9) and how awesome it is, especially the way it focuses on Portland news, celebrities, bands, and comedians.
Consider this your official warning that going to see Late Night Action w/ Alex Falcone this weekend is a total violation of my journalistic ethics. So is this image which shows the our guest schedule:
I haaaaaaate writing blurbs for books—I hate being asked to write blurbs—so I'm not asking any writers I know to blurb my new book. (You can preorder that shit now.) I've decided to be the change I want to see in the publishing world while we still have a publishing world to change. But when I tweeted that I wasn't asking for blurbs—because I can't bring myself to do it—my followers started blurbing my new book anyway. Without reading it first. Now, most people who blurb books have the decency to read the book; failing that, most have the decency to at least pretend that they've read the book. But there have been times when writers have blurbed books they didn't even read.
Not me, of course, because I'm too Catholic for that shit. Also, what if you blurb a book you didn't read and the author announces in the last chapter that he's a white supremacist or something?
But now I'm thinking about using blurbs for my new book—available for preorder now—from people who haven't read it. So blurb my new book in the comments or blurb me on Twitter using the #blurbsavage hashtag. Maybe your blurb will wind up on my dust jacket!
BASEMENT NERDS—Comics Underground is Portland's most fun comics event—and I'd say that even if it weren't hosted by the Mercury's arts and film editors. This month, artists Colleen Coover, Jen Vaughn, and Jake Richmond will pack the place to read new work and partake of stiff drinks. Fun art, good people, and ready availability of delicious Reuben sandwiches! SM
Jack London Bar, 529 SW 4th, 8 pm, $3
Tonight's is going to be great, and because I just had a rare burst of generosity and goodwill toward mankind (this might have something to do with the skull-shaped bottle of vodka that showed up on my desk this morning), I'm going to give away a pair of tickets to tonight's show. To enter to win, email me no later than 4 pm today, and make sure the subject line of your email is "Underground." I'll pick a winner at random at 4, then email them back. Have at. See you tonight.
Blaurgh. I have the SADs now. The last cortandfatboy podcast is on December 7. For almost 10 years, Cort Webber and Bobby "Fatboy" Roberts (conflict of interest alert: Fatboy is the Mercury's calendar editor) have put out extremely funny audio content, first on the old-timey radio and for years now on their five-times-a-week podcasts. With a curated selection of Portland's funniest people (god, I will miss Wednesdays with Live Wire!'s Courtenay Hameister and Fridays with the Oregonian's Mike Russell), the duo made me laugh more consistently than any other source in town, in Hollywood, or in the podcastverse. Not just a great one-stop shop for funny, their local news and sundry geekery from all points beyond was top-fucking-notch.
Here's what Fatboy has to say about pulling the plug:
It seemed like a good time to go. Not to say we're even remotely in the realm of these two shows, but if given the choice, we'd rather be Cheers than The Simpsons, you know? So to everyone who still actually cares about our show: Thanks. And sorry. But mostly thanks, for everything.
They're still doing the podcast as usual until December 7, so get the goodness while you can. cortandfatboy have long described their show as "mediocre," but this is the furthest thing from the truth on this sad day for Portland's earholes.
Ah, the "Conflict of Interest" tag. My favorite tag on Blogtown!
Here's what Sarah Mirk wrote about tonight's Comics Underground in My, What a Busy Week!
DRUNKEN COMICS—Six excellent comics artists present new work tonight at the semi-regular boozing event Comics Underground (hosted by the Merc's Alison Hallett and Erik Henriksen). Head past the pool tables to the Rialto's basement bar to hear from artistic ne'er-do-wells Matt Bors, Jeff Parker, Erika Moen, and others. SM
Jack London Bar, 529 SW 4th, 8 pm, $3, 21+
That's all true! It's going to be a good one: Erika Moen and Leia Weathington are presenting a pervy sex comic, Jeff Parker and Ben Dewey are gonna do a Planet of the Apes comic, Lucy Bellwood has a charming story about sailing adventures on the high seas, and Pulitzer-nominated Mercury contributor Matt Bors has all sorts of razor-sharp political stuff for your eye- and ear-holes. I also have it on good authority there will be monkey masks, so that should be terrifying. Doors open around 7:30 and it fills up quick, so get there early. More info here.
Conflict of interest? YOU BETCHA. But it's a conflict you want to know about!
Guys! I'm very honored to be in the upcoming theatrical production of The Lost Boys: Live!—playing every weekend this month over at the IFCC theater (5430 N Interstate)! If you were a fan of last year's mega-hit Road House: The Play, it's produced and written by the same peeps AND stars many of the same people, including Sweat's Shelley McClendon, Michael Fetters, and Andrew Harris, plus Tony Marcellino (The Liberators), Ted Douglass (3rd Floor), as well as sketch artists Jed Arkley, Tynan De Long, and more! Plus it's directed by The Liberators' John Breen and co-written by Courtenay Hameister! WOW. Wotta lineup!
Oh, and sure, I guess there's ME. But those other guys are exactly 73 percent funnier than I am—so if you think I'm funny, then GREAT! If you don't, that's still an extremely high percentage of funny.
Wanna come? GET THOSE TICKETS FAST, this one is gonna sell out lickety-split. Here are the deets:
The Lost Boys: Live!
Weekends in October, starts Friday, Oct 5
Ethos/IFCC Theater, 5340 N Interstate
Find out more info here, and if for some sad reason you're unfamiliar with what's known as the greatest teen vampire classic filmed in 1988, here's the original trailer for The Lost Boys! Hope to see you there!
God, the Hollywood has just gotten so great in the past couple of years. Their programming is more varied and more accessible than it used to be, and those new theater seats are pretty dang comfortable. It's also great to see local arts organizations partnering for one-off events, and the Hollywood has embarked on a few collaborations recently: A night of programming at TBA (okay, that didn't go so well), and now tonight's screening of The Big Sleep, co-presented by Oni Press and featuring writer Jamie S. Rich, who wrote the noir graphic novel You Have Killed Me. (Conflict of interest alert! Rich is both a Mercury freelancer and my buddy, developments that post-date my review of You Have Killed Me.)
Billed as "A Night with Jamie S. Rich," tonight will include a discussion of how film noir—and specifically The Big Sleep—has influenced Jamie's work.
The screening is tonight at 7 pm at the Hollywood; tickets are $7. Details here.
There are a LOT of comics-related events going on tomorrow night, which—because I am hosting one of them—makes me feel a bit like this.
Here's a rundown:
Grendel 30th Anniversary Book Release/Art Show—I've never read Matt Wagner's Grendel series, but a number of people I respect really like it. That's at Floating World (400 NW Couch) from 6-10 pm.
Menage a Trois: Playful, Sexy and Erotic Art by 3 Talented Women in Comics with Keri Grassl, Rebecca Woods, and Erika Moen—Portland's only source for consensual adult playtime and fresh-baked cookies at midnight hosts a show of erotic comics art. Plus, it's a rare chance to see the inside of Ron Jeremy's sex club without having to buy a membership. Club Sesso (824 SW 1st), 6-8 pm
Joelle Jones & Naomi Nowak —Comics artist Joelle Jones is a good buddy of mine, so full bias admitted here, but I love her bad-girl themed vintage ad parodies. (The Old Gold needs to snag a copy of this one, don't you think?) That's at Hellion Gallery (19 NW 5th Ave, Suite 204).
Paul Tobin—Comics writer Paul Tobin turns his hand to prose with Prepare to Die!, a novel about a superhero who's given two weeks to settle his affairs. We've got a review right over here. He's reading at the Hawthorne Powell's (3723 SE Hawthorne) at 7:30 pm.
Comics Underground—And finally, Erik Henriksen and I produce a live comics performance event that this month features Matt Fraction, Sara Ryan, Ben Dewey (that's his capybara up there), and former Merc intern Suzette Smith. That starts at 8 pm tomorrow at the Jack London (529 SW 4th), underneath the Rialto, $3
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