So I'll strolling downtown on Saturday, when what to my wondering eyes should appear on the corner of Morrison and sixth? THIS: Members of the Galactic Empire collecting money for the Salvation Army.

So on one hand, I'm pissed that some of my fave characters (Boba Fett was there, too!) were shilling for the "anti-gay" Salvation Army. On the other hand, who else but the most evil characters in the universe should be shilling for the "anti-gay" Salvation Army?

How should I feel about this?? MAKE UP MY MIND FOR ME!

Horrifying. Details here and here.

Perhaps in response to this post, a Ohio University group, Students Teaching Against Racism, launched a Halloween anti-racism campaign this week.

• Students Teaching Against Racism

These posters have spread like wildfire across the interwebs. And it looks like STAR wasn't predicting such a spotlight. STAR released a statement on its president's Tumblr account:

We are so proud of all the support but it’s overwhelming; We have less than 10 members in our group. lol We ask that you do not personally email any of the execs or message their personal tumblrs. Thank you guys so much for the love! The purpose was to educate and create dialogue and it did :) We have a meeting with a lawyer on Monday so we can protect our posters and the posters will be all over Ohio University’s campus this week! Again, thanks for the support and have a happy Halloween!
Best,
Students Teaching About Racism in Society (STARS) at Ohio University Executive board

Hey-o for the small anti-racism student groups making it big! Hopefully these images will make a dent in the trashy racist costumes that pollute college campuses and boozy fiestas.

Today's quandary: You've had the same hairstylist for years. You've shared some of your deepest secrets with him/her, he/she has shared his/her deepest secrets with you. YOU HAVE A RELATIONSHIP. That being said, you're bored, and it's time for a change. You want to dump the hairstylist without hurting his/her feelings. SO WHAT DO YOU DO? Lie? Tell the truth? Tell a modified version of the truth? Face to face? Via phone? Text? Mysteriously disappear and drop off the grid forever? WHAT??
Your definitive solution to this well-known conundrum is welcome in the comments.

• A hairstyle.

Photo taken early this afternoon in the Mercury bathroom:

Nothing in the Mercury office garners more heated debate than the office coffeemaker. (And one wonders why print media is coughing up blood.) Therefore we need the great minds of Blogtown to help us solve TWO ethical conundrums today:
Conundrum #1: You're making roughly 12 cups of coffee. How much coffee would you ladle into the coffeemaker basket to ensure the necessary strength without causing an overflow?
Conundrum #2: Everybody knows that God's 11th commandment was "If you drink the last cup of coffee, make another pot." HOWEVER! At what hour during the business day, do you IGNORE this commandment, because nobody else will be drinking it anyway, and it would be a ridiculous waste that we shouldn't care about, and yet we do?

Your final answer will be legally binding, and will be entered into the Portland Mercury Employee Handbook as LAW. (As usual, feel free to discuss the intricacies of these quandaries in the comments below, and you will, because you sincerely have nothing better to do.)

Since the story on Lake Oswego Dr. Darm's Twitter libel case hit the Mercury almost a month ago, we've received a surprising slew of responses from doctors and lawyers alike on one certain aspect: labeling Darm as a "plastic surgeon."

Darm's attorney, Thomas McDermott, explained his stance in an email to the Mercury : "Dr. Darm is not, and has never claimed to be, a plastic surgeon." Instead, the lawyer says Dr. Darm goes by the title "aesthetic surgeon."

However, unknowing consumers and journalists alike could easily be confused by Dr. Darm's website into assuming that Darm actually is a plastic surgeon. Here's a screenshot from his "Plastic Surgery" page with Darm's signature leaving a stamp of approval:

So we asked the American Society of Plastic Surgeons what they thought. Their response: "Anyone can call themselves a plastic surgeon (which is why we see so many consumers with botched procedures performed by someone claiming to be a plastic or cosmetic surgeon)." But members of the American Society of Plastic Surgeons must be board certified. So, while Darm may not be a certified plastic surgeon, it's not illegal for him to call himself one. Or us, for that matter. Still, we're going to tack a clarification about Dr. Darm's title onto the full story.

While Darm is without this certification, his website, again, could easily be misinterpreted. Here's a screenshot on the right from a video displaying before and after plastic surgery photos coupled with Darm's website name and apparent title: Board Certified Plastic Surgeon.

Darm may have another doctor working under him as a board certified plastic surgeon, but the clarification is lacking. We contacted Darm's office and left a message and have yet to receive a response.

So as mentioned this morning, I participated in the first annual Invitational SE Neighborhood Mixed Doubles Badminton Championships yesterday—and my team LOST. I will readily admit I wasn't at my best; the birdie was having trouble finding the head of my racquet, my slams were repeatedly landing out of bounds, and while my drop shots were dropping, they were doing so on my side of the net.
During the first game of the semi-finals, I was playing on the backhand (or left) side of the court. HOWEVER! At the beginning of the second game, I asked my partner if she would rather play the backhand side, to which she responded:

Ummm... YEAH. I think I will, "sieve-y."

No, SIEVE-Y. Like your racquet is a "sieve." One that filters out BIRDIES!

I was reminded of this ethical quandary while hanging out at the river this weekend: Are jetskis okay, or not okay? On one hand, I hate to deny anyone the scant amount pleasure we receive in life (that's not exactly true, but allow me to pretend it is for the sake of this particular argument). On the other hand, jetskiiers totally stomp my buzz, because a) they are loud, obnoxious, and overly rambunctious, and b) they're having fun that I'm not having, and rubbing it in my face.

SO! Here's your Blogtown Ethicist question of the day:

IS IT ETHICAL FOR ANYONE OTHER THAN YOURSELF TO RIDE THE SHIT OUT OF JETSKIS IN FULL VIEW OF PEOPLE WHO ARE NOT HAVING AS MUCH FUN ON THE SHORE?

Your views on this subject's ethicalities are welcome in the comments section below.

• People having fun while you're not.