A PRINCESS—Once again, Cort and (Merc staffer) Fatboy have lovingly lofted an old favorite onto the big screen for your pleasure. In this month of romantic introspection, The Breakfast Club could hardly be a more appropriate midnight movie to aid in analysis of how your adolescence led to your current bliss/predicament. MS
Bagdad Theater, 3702 SE Hawthorne, 10 pm, $3, 21+

THE ONE—A two-day display of over 100 rare custom motorcycles, this edition of the One Motorcycle Show (helmed by See See Motorcycles) also features custom-painted helmets, a surprise musical guest, and an opening party teeming with Portland's hottest riders, builders, and passengers. MS
Sandbox Studio, 420 NE 9th, Fri 5 pm-midnight, Sat noon-10 pm, FREE

KHAAAAAAANNNN!—Today's your last chance to catch the great 35mm programming at the Beer and Movie Festival, with screenings of 2001: A Space Odyssey, Boogie Nights, The Untouchables, Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan, Raiders of the Lost Ark, and Conan the Barbarian! There are no wrong choices in this scenario. EH
Academy Theater, 7818 SE Stark, $4, see Film Times for showtimes

BOOK LOVE—Hey, remember books? Literary Mixtape is your favorite writers sharing their favorite works from other authors on a tiny stage in a tiny bar with good drinks and attractive people. This month features Booker-nominated Patrick deWitt, plus bikey author Evan P. Schneider and Ex-Boyfriend Cookbook author Erin Ergenbright. SM
Valentine's, 232 SW Ankeny, 7 pm, FREE

(Both of our picks tonight are organized by Willamette Week writers! We're getting soft.)

SCHOOLHOUSE ROCK—Since supporting education is vitally important right now, don't miss tonight's Benefit for the Village Free School (a cool nonprofit private school that focuses on freedom, responsibility, and community involvement), featuring the Thermals-infused super band Hurry Up! as well as bouncy sets from Adventure Galley and Father Figure. Go on—have some fun for the kids! WSH
Mississippi Studios, 3939 N Mississippi, 8 pm, $5-10 sliding scale

DATING HORROR STORIES—Everyone has a tale about a first date gone awry—mine ended with a fainting spell. Come delight in the agony of others at It's Not Me, It's You: Stories from the Dark Side of Dating, a benefit for Planned Parenthood. Storytellers include Chelsea Cain, Kevin Sampsell, Courtenay Hameister, and the Merc's Sarah Mirk and Alison Hallett. CF
Bagdad Theater, 3702 SE Hawthorne, 7 pm, $18-20, all ages

Everyone loves to hear people's juicy, terrible bad dating stories, right? And, after last week's anti-abortion debacle, everyone's looking to throw a few dimes Planned Parenthood's way, right?

Well! This Wednesday night, a bunch of great Portlanders will be telling their worst ever dating stories as a fundraiser for the Planned Parenthood Advocates of Oregon, It's Not Me, It's You: Tales from the Dark Side of Dating. Arts Editor Alison Hallett and I will be doing a one-upmanship lightning round of two-sentence terrible date stories, since apparently we have a lot.

Tickets are $20 and to encourage you to snap one up, here are quick snippets from each of the storyteller's excellent tales of woe:

• Author and Blogger Sarah Wexler says: “He wrote a book about ‘panty-dropping recipes.’”
• Seth Walker will tell the true story of how an elaborate teenage lie in 1990 failed in spectacular fashion. His story features a double-wide trailer full of screeching birds, a polyester suit, and a bathtub.
• Writer and musician Christine McKinley says, “While I was getting fingerprinted in a sweatsuit provided by the county, the guy in Isolation Cell 3 gave me one of those ‘How you doing?’ nods through the safety glass and I smiled back. I was getting right back out there and meeting new people. Good for me!”
• Live Wire poet Scott Poole says, “One night, in bed, she asked me, ‘How do you want to be buried?’”
• Political activist and ASL interpreter CM Hall says, “I had moved to Portland to be out, to be queer, to be a small gay fish in a big lesbionic pond. Little did I know that I was swimming alongside my sister in the same kiddie pool.”
• Internationally famous and talented podcaster Fatboy Roberts ends his story, "She hugged me to make me feel better, but she farted on me when I squeezed her."
• I'll be telling the stories full of red flags, including the boyfriend who wrote a play about our relationship in which we were both monkeys trapped in cages in a dystopian future, throwing feces at each other.
• Only one of Alison's stories involves her cat.

BENDER—It's time to have the funnest blackout you'll never remember with the annual Slabtown Bender. Drink 'em up and dance 'em down at this weekend-long series of shows, tonight with the Trashies, TacocaT, and Unnatural Helpers. Plus Saturday and Sunday you can start out the festivities with free matinees. Hydrate, folks, hydrate—this is for the long haul. CF
Slabtown, 1033 NW 16th, Fri-Sun, 5 pm, $10 ($25 for all weekend)

REVENGE OF THE SYNTH—It's time again for another round of Superfresh, a two-day extravaganza that will have you wearing holes in your dancing shoes, with a slew of performances from Wampire, Litanic Mask, Tunnels, and so many more. Don't forget to stretch those hamstrings. MS
Branx, 320 SE 2nd, Fri-Sat 7:30 pm, $7, $10 weekend pass, all ages

COMICS!—Two of Portland's best comics creators team up for tonight's art show at Floating World: Emi Lenox will be showing off work from her upcoming autobio comic EmiTown, Vol. 2, while Natalie Nourigat will bring pages from her webcomic Between Gears. Both books will soon be published by Image, so here's your chance to get a sneak peek. EH
Floating World Comics, 400 NW Couch, 6-10 pm, FREE

L'CHAIM—The Oregon Jewish Museum has enlisted Weinland's Adam Shearer and Aaron Pomerantz to put together Heeb Remixed, a night of local Jewish songwriters and musicians. Weinland will play, naturally, along with Gideon Freudmann of Portland Cello Project and St. Even (AKA Steve Hefter)—plus knishes and Manischewitz cocktails. L'chaim! NL
Holocene, 1001 SE Morrison, 8 pm, $10

Win tickets by telling me your favorite pickled product (Claussen dills? Homemade trotters? Biwa's kimchi?) in the comments below and one or two sentences explaining why it's the best. The best answer (chosen highly subjectively) wins the tickets and will be on the guest list for the event. I'll pick a pickle winner at noon tomorrow.

ROOM TO MOVE—Bless the rains for staying outside as DJs Cuica, Spencer D, Jason Urick, and the guys in Brainstorm create 13 Months of Sunshine: Africa Sounds Dance Party, a night full of sunny, happy dance music. Why didn't someone think of this sooner? WE
Holocene, 1001 SE Morrison, 9 pm, FREE

WOMENFOLK—Pay some respect to yer elders, kids! Tonight that means taking a goshdarn minute to reflect on how women won the right to vote in Oregon 100 years ago. Oregon's Century of Action group put together a history show—opening tonight with special guest Secretary of State Kate Brown—about the kickass ladies who campaigned for their civil rights in 1912. SM
Multnomah County Central Library, 801 SW 10th, 6 pm, FREE