
It's a big day for film buffs: The Portland International Film Festival is kicking off its two-and-a-half weeks of screenings with its big opening night screening and party at the Newmark with Nel Centro food, comped drinks (including the "PIFFtini") and live music from Swing Papillon, plus a screening of Salmon Fishing In The Yemen. Scripted by Simon Beaufoy (Slumdog Millionaire), directed by Lasse Hallström, and starring Ewan McGregor, Emily Blunt, and (the performance highlight, delivered by Kristin Scott Thomas) it's got quite the pedigree, though its tours of Scottish estates and Yemeni landscapes are a mite more captivating than its central plotlines. Still there's nothing like that opening-night excitement, and a $25 ticket for a movie, a band, and dranks is actually kind of a smoking deal.
There's plenty else to look forward to in the coming weeks, too. We've often criticized the festival for not engaging a younger generation of film lovers with sexy, exciting films. (There have always been gems at this festival, but it was often hard to recognize them in the PIFF catalog.) This year is different. There are tons of films about and aimed at young, sexy, exciting audiences like you. I've highlighted a few of them in the film section this week, plus there are more mini-reviews in Film Shorts, and we've got all hands on deck reviewing more, so check back for ongoing coverage. Meanwhile behold: Salmon Fishing In The Yemen, which, yes, is literally about airlifting salmon to Yemen:
I'm not sure why this information doesn't surprise me at all. I can imagine Werner Herzog hating a lot of things... plantar warts... the announcers on airport subways... Tea Leone... droopy socks that slip down into his shoe... but in this video he hates chickens. Tell them why, Werner Herzog.
More of Werner's distaste for chickens here.
Aside from a brief, predictable period in high school when he was replaced by Holden Caulfield, Peter Parker's been my favorite fictional character since I was old enough to know what a Spider-Man was. Which means, I think, that I should be really stoked about The Amazing Spider-Man, Sony's attempt to reboot the webslinger even though Sam Raimi's last spider-movie is only five years old. This time around, Sony's desperately trying to convince us that Amazing is the "untold story"—which mostly seems to hinge on the facts that this time, Peter's annoying parents are going to be involved somehow (UGGGHHH), and now he has mechanical webshooters that have little flashing lights on them. It's a whole new Spider-Man!
I'm legitimately curious about two things here, though: The casting, which seems fantastic across the board, and the humor, which was the biggest thing missing from Raimi's movies. One of Spidey's defining qualities is that he's a smartass, but Tobey Maguire was always too busy moping to crack a joke. Give me a funny Spider-Man any day, and if he just so happens to be in a movie with Denis Leary and Emma Stone? Hell, I might even look past his sparkly webshooters.
Sorry, can't help it: I'm just kicking into full-on fanboy mode for this thing, and I'm afraid there's no turning back, because fucking A, it's a Joss Whedon movie about the Avengers. So. Here's the extended version of yesterday's Super Bowl ad. I have now watched it an embarrassing number of times.
The Portland International Film Festival starts later this week, which means all of us Mercury film writers have been selflessly watching about 48,000 press screenings and DVDs so that we can give you ungrateful jerks about 48,000 reviews of a whole bunch of movies with subtitles. Here's a trailer for Kill List—one of the PIFF movies I watched this weekend and, so far, my favorite movie I've seen from this year's PIFF lineup. It's probably my favorite PIFF selection since they showed Ramin Bahrani's Goodbye Solo a while back, actually.
BUT THIS IS IMPORTANT: THE LESS YOU KNOW ABOUT KILL LIST GOING IN, THE BETTER. I'm putting the trailer up because, you know, something to watch, but just trust me: Kill List is one of those movies that works much, much better if you go into it knowing little more about it than its title. So you should probably just go. It screens Friday February 24 at 11:30 pm at Cinema 21.
ATTN. CINEPHILES—Hey, look! Jamie and I watched some things on our televisions! Now we will tell you whether or not you should buy them! —Erik
Boardwalk Empire: The Complete First Season
For two seasons, HBO’s Boardwalk Empire has been a blood-soaked romp through the Prohibition. It stars Steve Buscemi as politician-slash-gangster Nucky Thompson, the criminal czar of Atlantic City, and details his personal travails as he trades gunshots and whiskey with the likes of Al Capone and Lucky Luciano. The series—which has the distinction of having the world’s most disparate executive production team of Martin Scorsese, who regularly reinvigorates cinema, and Mark Wahlberg, who invented Entourage and failed to stop 9/11—is a mixture of Shakespearian tragedy and the best of motion picture history. It’s also part of television's laying claim to territory once occupied by the Great American Novel. Boardwalk Empire is not a show to watch randomly, whenever you happen to catch an episode on the air. It’s a complete work that only makes sense when consumed as a whole.
All the better, then, that HBO has seen fit to release Boardwalk's complete first season on Blu-ray, making it easier than ever to consume volume one of this epic saga in its entirety. You get everything: all 12 episodes, including the Scorsese-directed pilot, as well as all the expected audio commentaries and mini-documentaries.
Hecklevsion was a total blast when we did it a few weeks ago, so guess what? WE'RE DOING IT AGAIN.
Oh yes.
Hecklevision: Commando. Saturday February 25, 2012. 7:30 pm. The Hollywood Theater (4122 NE Sandy). Admission $7. It's going to be fucking magical.
IMPORTANT ADDENDUM: By popular my demand, the Hollywood, for this one night only, has agreed to sell milano cookies—or, as they will be referred to that evening, "Alyssa Milano Milanos."
Haha, jk. About a third of the audience walked out of Tim & Eric's Billion Dollar Movie at Sundance.
As the movie started, Wareheim said he was lingering in the lobby and caught some of the early walkouts."A woman and, I think, her two daughters were leaving right away," he said. "She sees me, and under her breath, she goes, 'Ugh ... You call that creativity? I spent money on that shit?'" He shrugged. "The movie is not for everyone. But there is a part of us that is like, 'Yes!' if it moves people to yell at it or get out. That's great."
There's more to that article (including the fact that a lot of people liked it, too), but I mostly just like the idea of infuriated people walking out of a movie and then immediately bumping into one of the movie's stars in the lobby. Normally that would be kind of awkward, but this lady sounds like she was pretty stoked about the opportunity.
Tim & Eric's Billion Dollar Movie doesn't open in theaters until March 2, but it's available on demand now. Also, it hasn't been screened for critics yet so I can't tell you if it's legitimately terrible or if it's just Tim and Eric's usual shtick that people just weren't prepared for. So I guess you should buy it and then see if you end up walking out of your house.
Tonight, a terrible Hollywood film has come to life in the worst of ways.
Portland Police press release sent at 8:58pm:
Portland Police Negotiating With Man on a Ledge in Downtown PortlandThis evening, Friday January 27, 2012, Portland Police officers assigned to Central Precinct responded to the report of a man on a 2nd story ledge of the Henry Building Apartments, located at 309 Southwest 4th Avenue.
Officers arrived and have been talking with the man and have called for Crisis Negotiators and a limited deployment of the Special Emergency Reaction Team (SERT) to respond.
Anyone know how that movie ends? I hope this real-life drama turns out safely.
UPDATE:
Crisis Negotiators talked with the man, a 30-year-old male, for more than 2 hours. Just before 11:00 p.m., negotiators convinced the man to leave the ledge and climb back into his room. Once he was in the room, SERT officers entered the room and took him safely into custody.
"In the interests of transparency, we've shopped the posters for this awards season's biggest movies so they're a little more honest about their content," says theshiznit.co.uk. The results are excellent.
More here. Thanks to Noah for the heads up.
Gothamist shares the story of the NYC screening of Martin Scorsese's Hugo that was plagued with problems, including two film-stopping projection malfunctions before the audience was made to watch the film's climactic 30 minutes overlaid with preshow advertisements. Enjoy the hilarity below.
The Gothamist report focuses on the crowd's anger, but in the video it sounds like they're having a great time enjoying the stupidity. (All attendees were given refunds and free passes to another screening.)
... annd I believe my work is done here. Good day.
Fancy-pantsy director Michel Gondry—yeah, that Michel Gondry—directed the following TV commercial for a Japanese department store. And while I respect Japanese department store's selection of directors (I doubt Walmart would make a similar choice), it makes me very sad that Japanese department stores have that much money. Luckily for me, the sight of an enormous foot always cheers me up. Nice work, Michel!
Tonight at the Hollywood Theatre: The only known 35mm print of Sammo Hung's 1987 action epic Eastern Condors! The Hollywood's Dan Halsted explains it thusly:
It's the kung fu Dirty Dozen! A motley group of Chinese prisoners are given a long-shot chance for freedom. They are sent on a deadly mission deep into Vietnam to destroy a weapons arsenal left behind by the US. The group, including martial arts superstars Sammo Hung, Yuen Biao, and Master Yuen Woo Ping, hook up with a trio of female freedom fighters. The ragtag group has to fight dozens of enemies, endure double crosses, and invade a secret lair. None of that compares though to the blistering jaw-dropping finale, featuring some of the most wince-inducing stunt work ever put on film. Directed by Sammo Hung (The Victim), this is celluloid napalm exploding in your FACE!
Um, yes please? Here's the trailer:
The show's at the Hollywood (4122 NE Sandy), at 7:30, and tickets are normally $7. I've got a pair to give away, though, so email me no later than 4 pm today and make sure your subject line is "SAMMO." At 4, I'll pick a winner at random and let them know how to get their tickets. Cool? Cool. GO.
Don't waste your time trying to tell me that ghosts aren't real because I do not care: The Hollywood Theatre is gearing up for their release of Ti West's The Innkeepers on Friday, February 3. (Merc reviewer Courtney Ferguson saw it and called it "a ghost story without many scares," and "okay," but whatever.)
Anyhow, they are promoting the film in the best way possible: with a good old fashioned ghost hunt! After the 9:30 screening of the film on Feb 3, they'll lock the doors so that a limited group of people can join the Portland Oregon Paranormal Society (POPS) in tracking down the ghosts of the old theater, Built in 1927 as both a vaudeville venue and theater, it is said to be haunted by a dapper-sounding gentleman in a white suit, a woman who prefers the back rows, a young woman who hangs in one of the upstairs theaters, and assorted strange pipe-clanging noises at night. POPS, which has investigated the theater before, will provide "ghost hunting equipment" for participants to use, and attendees are encouraged to bring flashlights and warm clothing. (The theater also point out that they will not be responsible for anything you might "bring home with you."
The $25 tickets for the hunt (includes entrance to the 9:30 screening of The Innkeepers) are super-limited, and will go on sale at 5 pm on Friday, so set your clock and score 'em early. And if you want to get pumped about it, check out this half-hour documentary about a POPS investigation of the Hollywood from back in 2010.

As Sarah mentioned in Good Morning News, "The Oscar nominations are out, if anyone cares," which seems about right. All the same, Steve just threw a clipboard at me and informed me that I'm "professionally obligated" to write something about the Oscars, so here's the list of the nominees for Best Picture. Links go to Mercury reviews.
The Artist
The Descendants
Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close
The Help
Hugo
Midnight in Paris
Moneyball
The Tree of Life
Steven Spielberg's Battle Pony
The rest of the nominations follow that predictable template, with FilmDrunk editor/occasional Mercury freelancer Vince Mancini correctly pointing out that the "Academy nominates anything marketed as an Oscar movie." So Hugo's big, and The Descendants, and Battle Pony, and even Extremely Loud, the latter nomination being one that everyone seems bewildered by because, you know, Oscar-baiting aside, everyone kind of agrees that the movie is fucking terrible.
In other not-that-surprising-but-still-kind-of-disappointing news, Drive and Shame and 50/50 were more or less ignored (sorry, awesome Albert Brooks), Fox failed in their campaign to get Andy Serkis nominated for his motion-capture performance as a homicidal monkey, and a Shrek spinoff was nominated for Best Animated Film.
The only real surprises, I'd say, are that Jonah Hill and Melissa McCarthy got nods for Moneyball and Bridesmaids—both of which are deserved—and that apparently the Best Original Song category still exists, though only two songs—one from Muppets and one from Rio—even made the cut. Because I guess the show needs musical performances? That is the only conceivable reason.
So there's that. I'll shut up now, since I already had my say about the movies I thought deserved the most attention this year.
(Also worth reading: The New Yorker's rundown of the nominations and assorted links, mostly because David Denby calls The Tree of Life “insufferable” and Richard Brody calls Battle Pony "a pile of clichés.”)
Thanks and a tip o' the hat to everyone who showed up for Hecklevision—the Mercury's second installment in our Winter of Fun™ series—at the Hollywood Theater on Friday, in which audience members texted their heckles of Red Dawn right onto the screen! The Hollywood crew did a great job; it went off almost seamlessly, and the near sold out crowd had a blast. I also saw a bunch of you Blogtownies there, doing what you do best—MAKING WITH THE FUNNY. So here are two questions for you to ponder in the comments:
1) What was your best or THE best heckle text of the night?
2) And what should be the NEXT Hecklevision movie? (Think short. Red Dawn was very funny and a good choice, but the length was almost seizure inducing. TOO... MUCH... TO WATCH!)
P.S.! Our third event in the Mercury Winter of Fun™ series is the "That's My Jam!" Dance Party and Contest with DJ Beyonda, coming up on Sat Feb 4! Deets and tickets here!
Did you guys know that replicators are totally really real? I saw one yesterday at LAIKA in Hillsboro. The animation company is busy at work filming their new stop-motion film ParaNorman, every stage full of incredibly detailed sets and amazing puppets. But I think I was most blown away by the machine that produces all those puppets and their myriad facial expressions. Maybe I'm just a luddite, but I'd never heard of the existence of 3D printers before yesterday. They're printers, in the style of your old dot-matrix printers with the cartridge going back and forth over a print surface, but instead of a crappy book report, it prints out objects. With working parts! This sounds impossible, right? But lo, check out the ParaNorman (fully functioning) wrench that I watched the folks at LAIKA print up.

Basically the printer at LAIKA has silicon ink cartridges and it puts down layers upon layers of the stuff then binds it together with a glue, then voila! Souvenir wrench! They can print ANYTHING! Tea, Earl Grey, hot. Hmm, actually it doesn't print up liquids, just solids, but still... My mind is fucking blown.
Hit the jump for a video in which an expert better describes how a 3D printer works, some dude's mind is also boggled by the possibilities, and he too receives a wrench.
As you should be aware of, tonight kicks off the Mercury's new Hecklevision series, where you are invited to do two things that typically annoying the living shit out of me: 1) Comment on a movie while it is playing, and 2) Text your ass off throughout its running time.
Tonight at the Hollywood, see the 1984 classic Red Dawn on the big screen, where the audience and Mercury writers' texts will also appear, so that everyone can bask in your clever/funny/insightful commentary without your having to do that horrible loud whispering thing. How do they do that? No idea. MAGIC.
What you need to worry about is having the best, most amusing comments in the crowd, and like everything in life, practicing helps! Below you'll find several clips from the movie so you can start trying out your material. The format's a bit different, but maybe you could bounce a few zingers off the Blogtown audience just to get a sense of the crowd. Then we'll see you at the Hollywood at 7:30—admission is $7, unless you're feeling lucky.

TONIGHT! It's Hecklevision: Red Dawn—the latest event in the Mercury's Winter of Fun™ series, and the first event to take place in the Hollywood Theatre's newly renovated main theater! New seats! New sound! New screen! Dead commies! Nice.
Tonight's gonna be fun, and tickets are a mere $7—but if you want to go for free, I've got a pair to give away. To enter to win 'em, email me no later than 2 pm PST today, and make sure your subject line is "AVENGE ME." Around 2, I'll pick a winner at random and email them back. Deal? Deal. WOLVERINES.
Hecklevision: Red Dawn, Hollywood Theatre, 4122 NE Sandy, 7:30 pm, $7

But here are some other fun facts: Dude wrote Apocalypse Now and Dirty Harry. Dude directed Conan the Barbarian. Dude directed Flight of the Intruder. He believes himself to be a "total man of the people" and a "zen anarchist." AND: "It would be very difficult to chronicle the early history of the Ultimate Fighting Championship without mentioning the considerable part played in it by a man named John Milius," because he CREATED THE FUCKING OCTAGON.
Also, again: He directed Red Dawn, which the Mercury's screening TOMORROW NIGHT at the Hollywood Theatre—in Hecklevision! In order to get you even more excited about this momentous event, here are five things John Milius has said, presumably just while standing in line at Starbucks or whatever.
• "A lot of people thought of me as a threat to Western civilization." (Via.)
• "The Departed was very well-written. A movie I thought was really well-written was Kinsey. Really well-directed. A really good movie across the board. Really made you think and consider the nature of science and behavior. Oh, and I like anything Will Ferrell has to do with. He's the best. He's the best that ever was." (Via.)
• "I think they should give Harvey Weinstein [president of Miramax] to the Taliban. I'd like to see him on the other side. I'd like to hunt him down in a cave." (Via.)
• "Conan is really all of a piece. It's just all it should be. It's really very, very well done. I like the compositions and the mood. I like Conan because it's like a ballet." (Via.)
• "Films are always pretentious. There's nothing more pretentious than a filmmaker. You know, an egotistical filmmaker who thinks that they're doing God's gift to humanity or something—it's just entertainment. It's not really too much different than the carnies." (Via.)
INDEED IT IS NOT, JOHN MILIUS. Red Dawn. Tomorrow. 7:30 pm. Hollywood Theatre. Seven bucks. Vast quantities of beer and patriotism will be available, the latter of which will be free. See you there.
McCarthy has surprised everybody by writing his first spec screenplay. Nick Wechsler, Steve and Paula Mae Schwartz, the producing trio behind the adaptation of McCarthy’s Pulitzer Prize-winner The Road, have just closed a deal to take The Counselor off the table with a preemptive acquisition.The terrain of the script is reminiscent of the rough and tumble world depicted in No Country For Old Men. The protagonist in The Counselor is a respected lawyer who thinks he can dip a toe in to the drug business without getting sucked down. It is a bad decision and he tries his best to survive it and get out of a desperate situation. While McCarthy’s ICM agents Binky Urban and Ron Bernstein were expecting McCarthy to deliver his next novel, he instead surprised them with the spec script before returning to the book.
The faster this thing gets made the better. Because I really want to see it.
Peter Stults' Movies From An Alternate Universe series is my favorite thing on the internet today:
More here. (The one for The Fifth Element is amazing.) Thanks to @SeaKangaroo for the heads up.
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