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City Finally Reveals "Secret List" of Probable Drug Abusers—But Is the Program Worth Saving?


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Running with Christmas

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Food

Friday, November 6, 2009

There Will Be Sausage

Posted by Patrick Alan Coleman on Fri, Nov 6, 2009 at 1:59 PM

For 75 years the community of Verboort has been making sauerkraut and sausage, to be sold every year on one magical day in November. It’s like some kind of meat filled version of Brigadoon… From the sausage-scented mists of Forest Grove there appears the Visitation Catholic Church, a stand of Sequoias, Fancy Work, a beer garden. For one day the vision remains, and then is gone, disappeared into the surrounding suburban landscape.

The Verboort Sausage and Sauerkraut Festival kicks off tomorrow morning at 9 AM, the highlight of which is a $15 all-you-can-eat sausage and sauerkraut dinner with all the fixings. From what I’ve heard, the festival has become a yearly tradition for families from across the region. People come from far and wide to line up for sausage sales as early as 3 AM on Saturday morning.

You may not be that committed to Verboortian sausage, but I understand the dinner is an event not to be missed. It's also robustly attended. So, while you’re waiting to get into the dining hall, the community has set up a few pleasant distractions including a beer garden at the Verboort Rod & Gun Club, Bingo, a quilt raffle, and a plant booth.

What more do you need?

Map your way to Visitation Catholic Church at 4285 NW Visitation Road.

Thursday, November 5, 2009

Food Trends 2009: Year of the Cart

Posted by Patrick Alan Coleman on Thu, Nov 5, 2009 at 12:42 PM

Wyeast: New cart in SE
  • Wy'east: New cart in SE

Food carts, food carts, everywhere. 2009 will be seen as the year that Portland food went small and mobile.

There has been much energy around Portland’s cart scene this year. New pods have popped-up in neighborhoods across the city; carts have taken over previously empty and unsightly urban niches; and the activity has attracted the fickle eye of national media, from network and cable news to (now defunct) national magazines.

Whether the activity is self perpetuating—media inspires would-be cart owners, who open new carts much to the delight of the media—or just a sign of entrepreneurs thinking small in a wounded economy, it’s clear that cart ownership is on the rise in Portland.

According to the Multnomah County Health Department there has been a nearly 25% increase in licenses for mobile food units this year. According to the county, the number of annual licenses it issues to food carts generally hovers around 360 to 370. As of this week, the county has issued 461 mobile food unit licenses, 91 more than last year; 34 yet-to-be licensed carts are currently in plan review.

So that means if all goes well, we will see 34 more carts, trucks, or trailers peddling food on or around the streets of the Portland metro area.

Brett Burmeister of Food Carts Portland notes that his site has been listing around five new carts per week. But to Burmeister, the growth in carts is not just a boom in local business, it’s also a boom in Portland’s cultural identity.

“I think a lot of the carts that have opened in the last year are an extension of Portland uniqueness,” he says. “These are not your average hot dog cart. We’re taking it to the next level.”

Be sure to check out next week’s Last Supper for more.

Tuesday, November 3, 2009

Little Red Bike Dinner

Posted by Patrick Alan Coleman on Tue, Nov 3, 2009 at 2:29 PM

The Little Red Bike Café [4823 N. Lombard St.] has been a charming culinary force in North Portland since its opening just over two years ago. Since making their first breakfast sandwiches for a soon to be adoring public, owners Ali and Evan have been maintaining a blog on which they mark the progress of their venture (and their lives) through vibrant photography and jocular posts.

Of note is recent entry “If in Fact,” which includes the description of a few intriguing menu items:

Wasabi & Smoked Salmon Deviled Eggs
(trio with cilantro, chives, and fish sauce)

"Spaghetti & Meatballs"
(spaghetti squash gratin topped with spicy harissa tomato sauce and Spanish meatballs)

Autumn Punch
(Buffalo Trace bourbon, apple cider, ginger beer, fresh mint)


If these sound to you like something off a dinner menu, you’re right on the money. The proposed "soft opening" for dinner service at Little Red Bike Cafe will happen in early November, according to comments from Ali and Evan on the same post. Get ready.

Thursday, October 29, 2009

Free (Vegan) Lunch!

Posted by Marjorie Skinner on Thu, Oct 29, 2009 at 9:53 AM

Get in line early at Pioneer Courthouse Square today, where from 11:30 am-1:30 pm, In Defense of Animals will be serving up vegan hot dogs and cupcakes as part of World Go Vegan Week, which, er, apparently started on Sunday and runs through Saturday. I suppose a big vat of whole grains and steamed vegetables might not be as sexy as high sodium processed junk food, but we get the message. Plus, Woody Harrelson is the World Go Vegan Week spokesperson, and we are fond of taking lifestyle advice from celebrities.

woody-harrelson-mug.jpg

Also recommends a vaporizer (easier on the throat).

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Shark Fin Trouble

Posted by Patrick Alan Coleman on Wed, Oct 28, 2009 at 4:13 PM

shark_fin_450.jpg

There are times when the ethics of eating engage in uncomfortable frottage with my restaurant reviews. While these regrettable instance are few and far between, I occasionally find myself between what a restaurant wants to serve and what my readers want to protest.

I consider it my job to eat food and foist my opinion on a dubious public. I do not consider it my job to make ethical judgments about what is on the menu. That's your job as a consumer. You're the one with the power to move your money and affect the change you'd like to see.

That being said, there are some instances when it becomes my job to provide you with information about what you might be eating. This week I received a letter from a reader who took me to task for being so cavalier in my mention of shark-fin soup on the menu at Ocean City.

Shark meat is not often eaten due to the huge amount of urea in its flesh. However, the collagen in the dorsal fin is used as a thickening agent in certain traditional Asian dishes, making the fin the only useful part of the animal for certain cuisine. When harvested, the fins are cut from living wild-caught sharks, which are then thrown back in the water to die.

In deference to the letter-writer, I decided to call up the Monterey Bay Aquarium, whose Seafood Watch program provides information about the sustainability (or lack thereof) of eating various species. I got in touch with the Aquarium's Communication Director Ken Peterson who noted that shark has always been on Seafood Watch's "avoid" list.

"The problem is that sharks are so long lived and reproduce so slowly," Peterson told me. "The amount that are finned leads to a decline in population."

"Because they are top predators, what you wind up doing is not only affecting the sharks but also an entire ecosystem." he said.

Peterson explained that the shark fin industry removes up to 100 million sharks per year from the Ocean's ecosystem. He noted that there are a lot of international treaties and restrictions regarding the finning of sharks, and that it's illegal to transport shark fins in the United States, save for one enourmous loophole:

"Currently, vessels are allowed to transport fins as long as the sharks have not been finned on the vessel itself," Peterson explained.

Which means one vessel can fin the sharks as long as those fins are transported to another vessel in order to bring them to US ports. However, there is legislation in the Senate to close that loophole.

Consider yourself informed.

Twinkies = Heroin?

Posted by Dave "the Intern" Bow on Wed, Oct 28, 2009 at 2:53 PM

Last week sciencenews.org reported this really scary story about how junk food alters the pleasure sensors in rats' brains causing them to act the same as rats addicted to heroin. According to a study by the Scripps Research Institute:

After just five days on the junk food diet, rats showed “profound reductions” in the sensitivity of their brains’ pleasure centers, suggesting that the animals quickly became habituated to the food. As a result, the rats ate more food to get the same amount of pleasure. Just as heroin addicts require more and more of the drug to feel good, rats needed more and more of the junk food. “They lose control,” Kenny says. “This is the hallmark of addiction.”

If that's not gross enough, it continues:

To see how strong the drive to eat junk food was, the researchers exposed the rats to a foot shock when they ate the high-fat food. Rats that had not been constantly exposed to the junk food quickly stopped eating. But the foot shock didn’t faze rats accustomed to the junk food — they continued to eat, even though they knew the shock was coming.

Throw this on the pile of scientific studies that tell us upsetting things we already know but pretend we don't. Now I'm sad. Sad and hungry.

Just melt this on some tortilla chips and this little guys ready to chase the dragon.
  • Just melt this on some tortilla chips and this little guy's ready to chase the dragon.

Hat tip to grist.org

Portland Never Tasted So South Philly!

Posted by Sean Breslin on Wed, Oct 28, 2009 at 2:12 PM

Grants Philly Cheesesteaks
  • Grant's Philly Cheesesteaks

It's killing me that I can't be at the Locust Tavern in Philly to watch the defending champion Philadelphia Phillies knock C.C. Sabathia and the Bums from the Bronx around in this year's Fall Classic. But while I can't raise a pint of Yuengling to mark the start of tonight's World Series Game One, I did take a drive out to Grant's Philly Cheesesteaks on the 153rd Block of NE Sandy.

In some ways, Grants felt a lot like going to Geno's or Pat's in Philly. Like those two iconic rivals, Grant's isn't located in a place you'd be likely to stumble upon: you gotta seek it out. It's outta the way even for my airport-neighboring ass, but at least it doesn't have a one-language-only policy like some places.

The steak
  • The steak

The thing about cheesesteaks is they're not easy to screw up. You really have to try at it. It's just thinly-sliced steak on a flat grill with onions, peppers and cheese. That's really it. Cheesesteaks are not grilled roast beef sandwiches. Grant's got this right, so it was pretty much smooth sailing from there. Tender, thin meat, just a little browned on the edges, juicy veggies, and an ingredient most people outside of Philly wouldn't touch:Whiz.

Grant's gets a bonus point by using Amoroso rolls, which I don't think I've ever seen outside the Philly area. It's what makes the steak. Top that off with a pack of TastyKake Butterscotch Krimpets, and you've got enough calories in your system to make you feel like you're wandering Citizens Bank Park looking for a water ice.

Monday, October 26, 2009

Yam Yam's Was A Drug Front?!

Posted by Sarah Mirk on Mon, Oct 26, 2009 at 11:40 AM

Yam Yams: Gives whole new meaning to Ribs and Coke, please!
  • Yam Yams: Gives whole new meaning to "Ribs and Coke, please!"

The Oregonian has the news from Portland Police today that tasty but shabbily-decorated North Portland barbecue place Yam Yam's was possibly a money-laundering front for a "coke kingpin."

North Portland resident James Ray "Lonnie" Yoakum is charged with running a $300,000 a month cocaine operation in town, using Yam Yam's to make the money look legit. After using wiretaps and other surveillance, police arrested Yoakum with $11,000 in cash on his person. Yoakum told authorities that he was a cook at Yam Yams and officers found $60,000 more in a safe at the restaurant. That's a lot of $5 jambalayas.

Investigators also accuse Yoakum's sons of dirty business. Yoakum's 19-year-old son is accused of having a hand in a Northeast gun fight that left a rival gang member wounded on Killingsworth and the other is accused of robbing two California medical marijuana clinics.

While the Yoakum family waits in jail, the fate of Yam Yams and their delicious savory bbq sauce remains unclear.

Free Coffee. You'll need it.

Posted by Patrick Alan Coleman on Mon, Oct 26, 2009 at 10:47 AM

Man, what a bitch of a weather system rolling through, eh? Must be Fall in Portland. Am I right? But you know what they say about Portland weather... "You don't like the weather in Portland? Then go back to wherever the hell it is you came from!"

If you're sticking around, Black Cat Cafe [1203 NE Alberta] would like to give you a free cup of joe untill noon today, and AGAIN tomorrow from 8 AM - Noon. Get on your fixie and fix, little sister.

Friday, October 23, 2009

Food Stuffs

Posted by Patrick Alan Coleman on Fri, Oct 23, 2009 at 2:52 PM

Distillers Fest Starts Tomorrow

Tomorrow marks the opening of this year’s Great American Distillers Festival, drawing distillers from around the country to converge at the Bossanova Ballroom [722 E Burnside]. Expect two days of spirit tasting, cocktail contests, and seminars. A day’s admission costs $10 and includes 3 tasting tickets. A two-day pass is also available for $16 and includes 6 tasting tickets.

Be sure to check out the seminar from cocktail historian Robert Hess, “The Man Behind The Curtain: Molecular Mixology’s Little Secret.” Sounds intriguing. There may be liquid nitrogen. Who knows?

Festival runs Saturday from 11 am to 4:30 pm, and Sunday from 11 am to 5 pm.

Free Fucking Waffle Day

Don’t Forget that tomorrow is Free Waffle Day at the Mississippi/Fremont FLAVOURspot location. The donation of a canned good, unused pair of socks, or new unwrapped toy will get you unlimited waffle love through the day. FLAVOURspot claims that you can have as many waffles as you want (one per wait in line, though).

Also, tonight is the last night to enter in the Ms. Pac-Man tourney if you’re at all interested. Grand prize is $250 bucks, and apparently there haven’t been any really impressive scores. So, the field is open.

Maxim Loves Portland Pastrami

So, now that Gourmet has folded, it seems Maxim is out to pick up the slack with a piece in the new issue covering America’s top ten Jewish delis. Guess who gets a nod? None other than Portland’s own Kenny and Zuke’s. I never pictured these guys as Maxim types, but hey, body by Pastrami is apparently a growing craze.

Thursday, October 22, 2009

The Culinary Pumpkin

Posted by Patrick Alan Coleman on Thu, Oct 22, 2009 at 4:44 PM

pumpkin-bowl.jpg

I’ve never used a real pumpkin as an actual cooking ingredient. Usually when there’s a pumpkin in my house I’m cutting the top off that mother-effer, carving a whimsical face in the shell, and then putting a candle inside to turn it into a lantern of sorts, called a jack-o-lantern. They’re said to ward off evil spirits, but I’m not buying it—my wife still comes home every night! Eh? Can I get a rim-shot? No? Whatever…

So, the other day I’m listening to Terry Gross interview Ruth Reichl on NPR (yep, I just wrote that), and Reichl starts talking about this pumpkin soup recipe in which you scoop out the pumpkin and all that, but instead of carving a funny face into it, you fill it with bread, cream, cheese, and then throw the sucker into the over oven for a good long while. Once it comes out of the oven, you have this soup in a lovely orange edible container! Mind? Blown! [The recipe from “MMMMM: A Fiestiary” here]

During this season of pumpkin bounty, I’m curious to know if there are any Blogtownie home cooks that are using the gorgeous bulbous gourds as an ingredient?

Yeah, I’m sure there are pumpkin pies and pumpkin muffins and such, but I’m looking for recipes like this one from Becky Hogle found at Pumpkin Nook’s Cookbook:

Pumpkin Stew

Ingredients:

1 10 - 12 pound pumpkin
2 lb. Beef stew meat
2 tbs. Oil
1 Bell Pepper
1 Onion
4 Medium potatoes
3 Carrots
2 Cloves of Garlic
2 Sticks of Celery
1 15oz. can of diced tomatoes
2-3 cups Water
Salt to taste
Pepper to taste

Preparation Directions
:

Carve a hole in the top of the pumpkin and remove seeds, and stringy insides [DO NOT CUT A FUNNY FACE INTO THE SHELL!! — PAC]. Set pumpkin aside. In a Dutch oven brown 2 lbs of stew meat in oil. Add in 1 bell pepper (sliced into inch thick slices), 1 onion (sliced), 4 medium potatoes (cubed), 3 carrots(cubed), 2 cloves of garlic(diced), 2 sticks of celery(sliced), 1 - 15 oz can of diced tomatoes. Add salt and pepper to taste. Add 2 - 3 cups of water. Let simmer for 1 hour. Place pumpkin in shallow pan, and place stew inside pumpkin. Brush the outside of the pumpkin with a light coating of oil. Bake pumpkin and stew at 350 for 2 hours, or until pumpkin is tender. Serve wile [sic] hot. Be sure to get chunks of pumpkin in your stew, as they enhance the flavor of the stew.

Sounds quite tasty, actually. But I’m not the only one with pumpkin fever. Matt Davis has his own pumpkin soup recipe on his blog.

So what about you? Feel like sharing?

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Heart Coffee and Roasting Opens

Posted by Alison Hallett on Tue, Oct 20, 2009 at 2:12 PM

There's a hip new coffee shop in town. Heart just opened its doors at 2211 E Burnside Street (yep, that's just a few blocks from both Blend and Ruby's, and just next door to the pet store Meat). And because the ecosystem of Portland coffee shops requires that orders of hipness be quantified, let's say that it's classy hip a la Intelligentsia as opposed to cutesy hip or dirty hip (don't worry, I kind of want to stab myself for typing that sentence, too). It's actually a really nice space with big windows and beautiful dark wood floors, and there's a Random Order apple pie under glass just waiting for someone to order a slice. And bring it back to the Mercury office. For me.

I'm drinking a mocha that tastes like a latte but hell, it's day one, and at least the espresso is good. Someone who is not on deadline/trying to think of a new way to say "Jonathan Lethem blurs genre boundaries" could go drink a cup of real coffee and report back in the comments with more details, if they're so inclined. Heart does not yet exist on the internet, but I believe its hours are 7-4.

UPDATE! Hours are 7 am to 4 pm this week, and 6 am-7 pm after that.

UPDATE AGAIN! Website located.

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

So, About That Soda Tax (Again)

Posted by Patrick Alan Coleman on Wed, Oct 14, 2009 at 1:53 PM

From a Series of Anti-Soda Posters in NYC
  • From a Series of Anti-Soda Posters in NYC

"This study that we did with UCLA showed that regardless of income or ethnicity, adults who drink one or more soda a day are 27 percent more likely to be overweight or obese,"

That’s Dr. Harold Goldstein, from California’s Center for Public Health Advocacy, speaking with NPR’s Kelley Weiss. Right off the bat, the statistic seems pretty startling. But it’s designed to be startling. Goldstein is advocating for a soda tax to help pay for the nation’s healthcare overhaul.

Dan Savage had a bit to say about this awhile back. He supported the tax. Me? I’m not so sure.

A quick search for “soda tax” reveals that this idea has been around for quite awhile. But recently, proponents of using a soda tax to reclaim costs of major healthcare reform have grown even more vocal. The idea follows the same logic of other “sin taxes”: People are enjoying a product that is unhealthy for them. Their poor health is driving up medical costs. Therefore we should tax what they’re enjoying so they’ll enjoy it less and by default, become healthier. Meanwhile, the tax revenue will pay for the increased healthcare cost we already have. The sin here, I guess, is gluttony.

Smokers, you know the drill: Quit smoking, or take it with a nicotine smile.

Let’s get back to that “27 percent” statistic. Yeah, you drink soda and you’re more likely to be obese. But you know what? If you eat Doritos, you’re more likely to be obese. If you eat fried pies, you’re more likely to be obese. If you don’t get up and move your ass every once in awhile, you’re more likely to be obese. If you are poor, you’re more likely to be obese. If your job is going out to eat three to four times a week so you can publish your opinion in the food section of an alt-weekly, you’re more likely to be obese. There are, of course, exceptions.

Hey, you know what really makes people fat? Bacon! That shit is like a fat injection right into your fat ass. But we’re not going to tax bacon, are we?

Am I wrong to feel that a tax on soda seems both desperate and misguided? Am I?

Proponents suggest that the projected revenue from a small soda tax could bring in $150 billion dollars in revenue in a scant 10 years. And although it’s essentially conceding that less soda would be consumed, detractors say that a soda tax will lead to a $22 billion dollar loss in economic output.

When it comes down to it, it might be that my opinion is linked to directly to my own self-preservation. There is no way I’m coming to work if there’s a tax levied on soda. Fact is, the day that Erik Henriksen can’t afford to pay for his Dungeons and Dragons themed Jones Soda to chase down his daily smoothie made of Kit Kat bars and Where the Wild Things Are Berry Wild Slurpee™… Well… On that day the walls will run red with the blood of anyone who gets caught in the path of his blind rage.

But what’s your opinion, Blogtownies? Do tell.

Wednesday, October 7, 2009

Happy Anniversary to Them

Posted by Patrick Alan Coleman on Wed, Oct 7, 2009 at 4:23 PM

Saraveza.jpg

Two of the fun lovinest places in NE North Portland are having anniversaries this month, and that means you get celebrate with them and reap the benefits.

First up is Saraveza [1004 N Killingsworth St.]. This bottle shop, pasty purveyor, and beer hall has been a Midwesterners Northeastern Shangri-La for one full year now. It’s also been embraced whole-heartedly by the beer community, becoming a kind-of sudsy social club for brewers and drinkers alike.

On October 17th the Killingsworth beer-joint will be celebrating a great first year with cake, bratwurst, a Russian River Consecration toast, and server selected taps. It’s a full day event, so make sure you stop in.

Next up, Flavour Spot [2310 N Lombard St. & the corner of Fremont and Mississippi] launches into SPOTfest:09 on October 24th to celebrate their anniversary. The beloved waffle stop has been keeping the denizens of Mississippi fed with all things sweet, hot, and cold for three years now and they are still going strong.

To make sure you know how strong they are, they’ve committed to serving you free waffles (!!!!!!) from 9 am to 3 pm [at the corner of Fremont and Mississippi], followed by a make your own sundae bar, followed by the Ms. Pac-Man tourney finals! All they ask is that you provide a can of food, a new pair of socks, or an unwrapped toy. An easy fee to enter into waffle Nirvana.

If you think you’re bad-ass enough at Ms. Pac-Man to rule the tournament, prelims start at Flavour Spot, October 17th at dark. Hey, maybe after you rock some Ms. Pac-Man you could go to Saraveza and eat some cake!

Tuesday, October 6, 2009

Apparently, this Morbidly Obese Person Wants His Chicken

Posted by Wm.™ Steven Humphrey on Tue, Oct 6, 2009 at 2:21 PM

HEY!!!! I'M FUCKING FAT!!! AND I WANT MY FUCKING CHICKEN!!! Wait… what? NO, I DON'T FUCKING CARE IF THERE ARE CHILDREN ALL AROUND ME!!! IWANTMYFUCKINGCHICKEN!!! 'CAUSE I'M FAT! AND I DON'T HAVE MY CHICKEN YET!!!
CHICKEN!!!!!


Thursday, October 1, 2009

Cheese, Bacon, Your Gallbladder, and You.

Posted by Patrick Alan Coleman on Thu, Oct 1, 2009 at 4:18 PM

This is a Representation of the Best Day of Your Life... Between Two Slices of Whit Bread
  • This is a Representation of the Best Day of Your Life... Between Two Slices of White Bread

Will this Saturday be the best food day of your entire young, restless, hungry life? Hells yes. Two reasons: cheese and bacon.

So I’m sure anyone who’s been reading Blogtown for any significant amount of time has heard more than they’ve ever wanted to hear about my tortured relationship with bacon. It’s complicated. Also, hearing me whine about it has likely become as tiresome as the bacon kitsch that prompted my withdrawal from cured pork belly in the first place. So I’m just going to call a truce. I’ll go ahead and enjoy bacon, taking deep calming breaths when I run into something as infuriating as bacon cheesecake. At least when I’m sober. If I’m intoxicated, that cheesecake does not stand a chance (I told you it was complicated).

You better bet I’ll have at least four of my six sheets to the wind when I breeze into Baconfest at E 18th and Burnside this Saturday between 3 — 10 pm. Boozed up will likely be the only way to truly enjoy what promises to be a somewhat conflicted event for me. A bacon dance off in which people eat bacon between rounds of dancing? A bacon eating contest sure to lead to the removal of at least one gallbladder? Bacon merchandise? Bacon foods? Enough grease stains to make my dry cleaner weep? I’m equally repelled and fascinated.

The best part is that all proceeds go to the Oregon Food Bank and Outside In, two organizations for whom I’d happily have my gallbladder removed (if it ever came to that). $5 and two cans of food get you through the gate.

If that’s not going to be enough fat in your system, then go ahead and start your day off at Green Dragon [928 SE 9th Street], 10 am to 4 pm, for The Wedge, a farmers market style cheese fest to benefit the Oregon Cheese Guild and the Oregon Food Bank.

Cheese producers from five Western states will be on hand to showcase and sample their products. We’re talkin’ 25 producers, each with probably more than one cheese. Even if you’re sampling, the odds are you’re going to sate your Saturday cheese craving. And you said it would never be sated! Never!

Even better will be the cheese seminars for $10 a pop (or $25 for all three), which includes a beer and cheese tasting, a spirits and cheese tasting, and a how-to-make-your-own-cheese-board class (apparently not as simple as throwing a melting wheel of brie on a plate and telling your guest to choke on it—sorry, Gary, it was just a bad day).

To put a shine on the thing, there will be free talks, children’s events, and a make your own em-effin grilled cheese station! Wut!!!??

Once this Saturday has ended, you’ll go home and listen to the epic battle between dairy and pig as they fight their way through your digestive system. O, such sweet music.

Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Dear Fattie: Want to Lose Fat, Fattie?

Posted by Wm.™ Steven Humphrey on Tue, Sep 29, 2009 at 1:04 PM

Do you ever ask yourself, "Why am I so fat?" Well, it could be because you eat fat. Your fat intake outweighs your fat outtake, rendering you fatter than a fattie-fattie-fat-fat. Check out this (fat) video for reducing (fat) fat from your (fat) diet. Fat. Fat. Fat.
Fat.

Hat (fat) tips to Everything is Terrible!

Monday, September 28, 2009

Free Food, One Block, Tonight Only

Posted by Patrick Alan Coleman on Mon, Sep 28, 2009 at 12:15 PM

Yakuza
  • From yakuzalounge.com
  • Yakuza

Well, better late than never. I just today received word from the Micah Camden empire about the block party they'll be throwing tonight, 7 pm, at NE Killingsworth and 30th. The celebration commemorates three years of operation at Yakuza, one year at DOC, and the opening of the new Brit inspired Fats.

There will be free food at all three locations, and cheap booze. Given those two things, I completely expect it will be a madhouse (madblock?). But if you've never had the opportunity to see what's going on in Camden's steadily expanding food hub, you won't get a better chance to jump in... Mouth first as it were.

A New Yorker's Take on Portland's Deli

Posted by Sarah Mirk on Mon, Sep 28, 2009 at 11:38 AM

Two weeks ago when we set up the Mercury branch office outside City Hall to celebrate Parking Day, we met a lot of interesting passerbys. But one of the most memorable was this very confident young man, Jonah Levy, who claimed to be one of the best tour guides in New York and was exploring Portland by bike. We asked Levy to critique Kenny and Zuke's, the downtown deli that serves pastrami so good that some critics claim it'll make you forget about the Big Apple.

By God, only two weeks later and the NYC tour guide has sent in his review. Here's a New Yorker's (condensed and edited) take on Portland's most prominent deli:


I found the space to be far from a New York style kosher deli. Where were the sweaty hordes of bickering couples? Replacing them were mild-mannered families.

The menus arrived and my impressions immediately inflated. Naturally, the drink menu was glorious. Extensive doesn't begin to describe the soda menu, which had a promise of quality control as a pre-cursor (Ah, Portland. How seriously you take your beverages). I went with a Henry Weinhard's Black Cherry and I was offered ice. What a treat! I graciously accepted.

My dish came shortly and to abate your desire for NYC approval, I'll say now that the pastrami was terrific. Perfect sized strips piled nice and high on seeded rye...it was well done. On the other hand, its tenderness in no way touches Katz or Carnegi. I could have gone for steamy when what I received was lukewarm. The potato salad was at some times tasteless and at other undercooked, and the pickle was laughable (see attached photo). But hear me now and repeat it forever: the pastrami at Kenny and Zuke's easily meets NYC standards.

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Indulge at the Jupiter: Boozing it Up for a Better School Lunch

Posted by Patrick Alan Coleman on Wed, Sep 23, 2009 at 3:55 PM

school_lunch.jpg

As a kid, I was once kicked out of school for the day because I wore a shirt disparaging school lunch. Admittedly, the shirt was gross. I believe it had a bright orange slogan reading “School Lunch Sucks” above a cartoon of a bug-eyed, doubled over, puking kid. Even then I was a critic.

Whatever “food” happened to hit my tray over the years of plodding, downtrodden, through school lunch lines, at least it was consistent. I’m certain the bulk was prepared from frost-covered bags of industrial frozen meat, or enormous, generically labeled tin cans of limp vegetables. As I grew older and was able to leave campus, I began to hit convenience stores for microwave burritos and bags of potato chips. Later, I’d drive to McDonalds or Subway.

During my last year of high school, it had become unnecessary for me to leave campus for fast food, because it had come to me. The lunchroom was slowly being populated by small kiosks selling lunch sized portions of things like Pizza Hut pizza. I didn’t need the convenience store either considering there was a snack machine packed with chips and candy bars in the hallway. Not to mention the ubiquitous Coke machine.

Initially, I thought these things were a kindness visited on me by gracious school administrators. I came to realize as an adult that there’s serious money to be had in allowing a corporation to infiltrate the halls and cafeteria of your school.

The Horrors of School Lunch and an Event to Help Change It! After the Jump!

Continue reading »

Friday, September 18, 2009

Your Toaster Sucks!

Posted by Patrick Alan Coleman on Fri, Sep 18, 2009 at 2:12 PM

There are few foods that I love as much as I love toast. The reasons for my affection are numerous. Among them are the facts toast is warm and crunchy, it's made quickly, and varies widely in flavor depending on what bread you happen to be using.

Kitty and I recently took the leap of purchasing a toaster oven, having failed to receive one for a wedding gift (you know who you are and you aren’t getting a thank you card until we get that Bed Bath and Beyond gift certificate). Our old toaster, a beautiful chrome model from the 60’s, had a tendency to burn the shit out of anyone who came near it. While it was an efficient way to wake-up in the morning, we both became tired of buttering our wounds instead of our toast.

Enter the toaster oven. The perfect little appliance has revolutionized our life. To begin with, we don’t have to heat up our old inefficient electric oven. Also, I’ve rediscovered my love for quesadillas. But most importantly it makes mad toast. What’s more, after toasting the toast you can top the toast and toast it again! Mind-blowing.

For weeks I’ve been madly in love with my toaster oven. But then I received a press release featuring a toaster than made my little toaster oven look like a two-bit washed-up has-been whore with no future. Behold the beauty of the Pop Art Toaster:

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I'm too sexy for my...toast. Yup, toast that makes you feel good about yourself. Wake up grumpy? We have toast for that too. And with 7 heat settings, 3 toasting functions, and a slide out crumb tray, does breakfast get any easier or more Fun?!?

To which I can only reply: “No ?!?” Just check out the “4 Image Plastic Stupid Toaster by David & Goliath”

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Yeah, yeah, I know this has already been done with the special Limited Edition Cylon Toaster, but I can’t tell you how many times I’ve wanted to eat toast that said “boys r smelly.” Now I can. We are truly living in the future. Anyone want a free toaster oven?

Scappoose Means Sauerkraut!

Posted by Patrick Alan Coleman on Fri, Sep 18, 2009 at 1:34 PM

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There are few foods that I love as much as I love sauerkraut. The reasons for my affection are numerous. Among them are the facts proper sauerkraut is a live food made with beneficial microbes, it keeps for a very long time, and it pairs ridiculously well with encased meat products.

If I could I’d put sauerkraut on just about everything, but timidity and a sense of decorum prohibits full-scale sauerkraut abuse in my everyday life. I’ll use kraut on sausage, of course, but it’ll also accompany many other meats and meaty dishes. My favorite application is using it to top slices of pepperoni pizza. I haven’t tried it on the pepperoni pizza from Wy’east (reviewed in this week’s Last Supper), but thoughts of kraut paired with the funk of Otto’s Sausage Kitchen pepperoni and sharp Pecorino Romano cheese produce a powerful hunger.

September is the beginning of a kraut-lovers favorite season. As trees color-up, here and there the cooling air is thick with the smell of grilling Bratwurst and warming Oktoberfest Beirs. Make no mistake, I love the summer fruit festivals, but I feel much more connected to the fall and winter fests dedicated to vegetation more accustomed to the cold and dark, and the meats meant to add insulation for the frigid months.

That’s why I’m beside myself with excitement about attending tomorrows Scappoose Sauerkraut Festival. It’s like some kind of dream come: Booth after booth of kraut dishes and kraut related products from 10 am to 6 pm. Though sponser Scappoose Community Club fails to give an address for the event on its webpage, I’m assuming it’s in Heritage Park, which also hosts the Scappoose Farmers Market.

The website does, however, include this tantalizing sentence “Come try the special Scappoose Sandwich and see what all the fuss is about. Expect to wait in line, but it’s worth it!” Consider it done.

While the Scappoose fest is the only one during the season solely dedicated to Sauerkraut, there are a bevy of krauty festivals happening around the region, most of them Oktoberfests.

Hit the jump for a short list of Best Bets.

Continue reading »

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

Burgerville Cycle-thru

Posted by Patrick Alan Coleman on Wed, Sep 16, 2009 at 12:08 PM

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Let me ask you hard-core cyclists out there a couple questions. 1) Is your desire for fast food really strong enough to have forced Burgerville to change their drive-thru policy? 2) Isn’t it difficult to bike with a combo meal?

I ask because I'm not a cyclist (my ride is too slow and uncomfortable), and also because Burgerville has indeed changed their drive-thru policy to accommodate patrons on two wheels—a change they’ll be celebrating this Thursday from 2 pm to 4 pm at their Hawthorne location with free blackberry smoothies (contingent on bikers purchasing a menu item of equal or greater value).

There was a bit of hubbub early last month when bicycling mother Sarah Gilbert was denied service at the Burgerville drive-thru on Powell Blvd. The incident, widely tweeted and aggressively re-tweeted, prompted protests that flooded the offending location with burger-loving bicyclists. In response Burgerville announced that all of its locations would be opened to cyclists, and have even taken to calling the drive-thru a “cycle-thru.” Signs posted at the Hawthorne store, and other popular bikey locations, warn drivers of cyclists in the drive-thru lane.

While this is a nice victory for cyclists, and has reaffirmed my fondness for the local fast-food chain, I will refer back to my two questions.

Maybe I’m being naïve (no, actually I’m certain I’m being naïve) but I always thought cyclists were on the whole a health-conscious bunch. While I’m sure Burgerville’s goodies are healthier than the crap being shoveled into bags at the clown’s place, I still wonder how many cyclists will be taking advantage of the new policy. I’ll admit cyclists probably burn more calories than I normally do sitting on my ass all day. I suppose it’s better for cyclists to eat a Tillamook bacon cheeseburger than it is for me to eat one.

But that brings me to my second question. If you don’t have a basket, how will you be carrying away your Burgerville bounty, and will attempts to juggle seasonal shake, combo meal, and proper hand signals lead to certain safety issues? Obviously a basket is the best course of action here—shoulder bags will only crush your meal, and trying to hold your bag and steer seems like a dubious practice (especially as the grease begins to soak through the paper). I wonder if the bike-thru will lead to certain bicycle accessory innovation or prompt Burgerville to create branded products for cyclists? I can see it now… Bags with hooks to hang off your frame (Will Radik’s idea)… Burgerville shake holders, designed to keep a large shake upright… Burgerville messenger bags with a reinforced combo-meal pocket area to keep your burger from being squished.

Until that day comes, Blogtownies, I’d like to know if you plan to avail yourself of the “new” Burgerville cycle-thrus, and how you plan on carrying all that delicious fast-food.

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Continuing Education is Delicious

Posted by Patrick Alan Coleman on Tue, Sep 15, 2009 at 2:29 PM

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It's back to school time [look for the Mercury's Back to School Issue to drop this Thursday!]. I’m always a bit jealous of students around this time of year. As much I bemoaned the necessity of school as a kid, as an adult I found that I loved learning. There’s nothing quite as satisfying to me as discovering new things about my world. So as people go back to class in September, I often wish I was going with them—that the next few months for me would also be filled with books and study. I guess that makes me a true nerd. NNNEEEEEERRRRRDDDDD!

Thankfully for us nerds (I know I can’t be the only one), there are several places in town to get our learnin’ on as we slip into the fall season.

Beginning tomorrow, Grand Central Bakery is offering free monthly baking demos at their Fremont store. Run by co-owner Piper Davis and Cuisine Manager Laura Ohm, the demos will cover a variety of savory and sweet concoctions that participants can make at home (from tarts to the unfortunately named “hand pies”).

There is, however, a catch. If you want to learn what is arguably the most important aspect of these creations—the pastry—you’d better look elsewhere. The Grand Central Baking demos will focus on creating dishes with their own “U-bake” pie shells and puff pastry, the bonus being that you’ll walk away each week with some puff pastry or pie crust to practice what you’ve learned when you get home.

November’s classes will focus on using the “U-bake” crust for “perfect holiday pies.” You’ll have to reconcile your own guilt for cheating on your Thanksgiving feast, you “U-bake” cheater, you.

Classes run the second and last Wednesday of every month at 4 pm in the Freemont Grand Central store [714 N. Fremont]. No registration required, and walk-ins are welcome.

More Learning Opportunities After the Motherlovin' Jump!

Continue reading »

Monday, September 14, 2009

"Bacon is Good for Me"—REEEEEEMIX!

Posted by Wm.™ Steven Humphrey on Mon, Sep 14, 2009 at 12:28 PM

Perhaps you caught the clip from Wife Swap of this soon-to-be morbidly obese kid giving his surrogate mother the what-for because she had the gall to throw away his bacon. But while the clip is both amusing and unsurprising, the ass-droppin' remix does it so much better! Plus it helps the kid make his case! Maybe bacon is good for him!

Hat tips to Buzzfeed!

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