• County Health Rankings
• White = healthiest, dark green = unhealthiest

The Robert Wood Johnson Foundation and the University of Wisconsin teamed up to create this year's "County Health Rankings" —an annual survey ranking each state's county by health. And it's not just a fun map. The program aims to put health care analysis into the hands of communities, rather than leaving it at the national level. Its mission: "help communities create solutions that make it easier for people to be healthy in their own communities, focusing on specific factors that we known affect health, such as education and income."

For being the population magnet, industrial node and top metropolitan area that it is, Multnomah County didn't do too poorly. We're 14th on the "Health Outcomes" (read: death) list and 10th on the "Health Factors" list on a scale from 1 (Benton County, healthiest) to 33 (Jefferson County, not doing too hot). What's this vague scale based on, you ask?

Smoking rate (17 percent), obesity rate (24 percent), sexually treated disease rate (482 positive tests for Chlamydia out of 100,000 tested), uninsured rate (19 percent) and other health statistics factor into the ultimate ranking. Turns out, we haven't strayed far from last year's rankings. But hey, if you're feeling low about the score (or just relatively unhealthy) scoot over the Washington County (ranked 3rd) or Hood River County (ranked 2nd) and take some deep breaths.

Portland-based medical provider Outside In faces a serious cut in their revolutionary syringe exchange program, thanks to a drop in federal funding. The ever-rocky annual funding of this 23-year-old program depends on both the federal, county and city support. This year, the program barely sneaked by with a last minute allocation of $65,000 in one-time cash from the mayor's office.

• Aidan Koch

In 1988, the federal government cemented a ban on any federal funding for needle exchanges, seeing it as a contradiction of its zero-tolerance policy for drug use. However, in 2009, President Obama overturned this ban, welcoming support of these statewide programs despite disapproving grumbles. Now, Obama has revoked this decision in legislation that also cut federal funding of low-income abortions in Washington, D.C. "The product of a tough negotiation," according to White House spokesman Adam Abrams.

To understand the local repercussions of this loss, I spoke with Outside In Executive Director Kathy Oliver.

Mercury: What portion of your annual funding relies on federal support?

Oliver: A very small portion, we get a total of $190 thousand from the city and county together and about a little more than $6 thousand from federal funds. The issue is not that it has a huge impact on our funding, but it's a huge step back in public policy.

Mercury: Do you think this cut is in relation to the stigma surrounding syringe programs, or solely a budgetary issue?

Oliver: It definitely feels like a political move. Unfortunately the federal governments no tolerance to drugs policy extends to drug users as well.

Mercury: How do you think our country can break this stigma?

Oliver: It's going to take a lot more education. We need people to understand that needle exchange programs are a bridge to treatment, not just a quick fix.

Mercury: Although the money isn't the main issue, what does this cut mean for the syringe exchange program financially?

Oliver: I think the major impact is not so much that we'll be turning people away, but that local funding is absolutely essential now, not just helpful. The fact that the city money was given to us this current year as one-time only makes me nervous. There needs to be a stable source.

MORE AFTER CUT

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Over the past month, more than five suicide attempts made headlines by their public presence (ie, on bridges, in parks). Last year, Portland police and firefighters responded to 198 suicides and attempts. So far this year, they've already dealt with 214 suicides. And the numbers continue to grow.

• Oregon Partnership volunteer Caitlin Jones shares her personal experience with suicide

Just this morning, during Portland Police Bureau's press conference on the city's uptick in suicides, officers responded to a potential suicide on an I-205 overpass.

"It's the white elephant in the middle of the living room that no one wants to talk about," said Portland Fire & Rescue's Paul Corah. "But it's crucial we do."

PPB's Robert King went on to stress the importance of suicide prevention resources, connecting the issue to his own career. Each year, he said, 300 police officers commit suicide nationally — a higher number than any other work-related police deaths.

The conference also highlighted Oregon Partnership's work with suicide prevention. "Suicide stems from treatable things that could happen to anyone," OP's Tom Parker said. " There's just such a stigma built around it in our society."

So why the uptick? Parker turns to the economy. "We know the ongoing depth and length of the economy is key problem," he said. "And mental health care cutbacks don't help." Last month, Multnomah County Board of Commissioners voted to cut $5.56 million from county mental health services. While the state returned $4.7 million, the cut still hurts. For now, the police rely on "spreading the word" about suicide prevention resources — but will that be enough?

Goldy, up at our sister blog Slog, posted this interesting rant today, and I thought I'd share because it concerns YOU, too.

Washington state is filled with stupid fucking Jenny-McCarthy-worshiping, anti-vaccine hippies, according to a new study published in the Centers for Disease Control's widely respected (but awfully named) Morbidity and Mortality Weekly Report. According to the study, Washington ranks among the worst in meeting childhood vaccination targets, ranging between 88 and 93 percent for "required" vaccinations like polio, whooping cough, measles, hepatitis B, and chickenpox. The national target is 95 percent. But even more embarrassing, we now lead the nation in parent-signed exemptions at 6.2 percent, a rate that has more than doubled over the past decade.

Stupid fucking Jenny-McCarthy-worshiping hippies.

Naturally, I was curious to see how Oregon ranked nationally in parent-signed exemptions, and discovered we come in FOURTH.
1) Washington = 6.2%
2) Vermont = 5.8%
3) Alaska = 5.5%
4) Oregon = 5.4%
5) Michigan = 4.4%

FOURTH = NOT... GOOD. More from Goldy:

Note to hippies: Vaccines do not cause autism! They just don't. And there is zero non-fraudulent science to suggest otherwise. But what vaccines are proven to do is save lives and avert unneeded suffering. So get your damn kids vaccinated!

I'm sick today. In lieu of a post I put any effort into, I submit to you the best cinematic vomit scene of all time.

A Canadian writes...

I came across a website that a woman created to promote a contest she is running. She's having a raffle for people who donate money to her best friend's sister, who has liver cancer, to cover the cost of her astronomical cancer-related medical bills. These bills are just for drugs and copays, which boggles my mind. Emily—the cancer patient—is a lesbian who lives in Kansas. Because she is a lesbian who lives in Kansas, she cannot be listed as a spousal dependant on her partner's insurance, so she must pay for these meds herself.

I live in Canada, and this is probably why I cannot understand how this. Please, explain to this confounded canuck two things. Firstly, why the hell is your country so hung up on the purported evils of socialized medicine? No one else is growing broke paying for medical care in other industrialized countries. Other countries—including my own—have healthy workforces. It's all funded from our taxes. What's the big deal?

Secondly, and no offence, but, what the fuck is wrong with your country? Why do people insist on making other people's lives a living hell (it's fucking cancer!) and deny basic rights like health care because they want to fuck people of the same sex? What does sexuality have to do with health care, or why does your country think it does? I don't get it. Really. Enlighten this incredibly lucky Canadian.

Colour Me a Confused Canadian

I find myself wondering about the sanity of my fellow Americans whenever I head up Canada to go snowboarding, a trip that takes us through northern Idaho. I can't count the number of times I've seen posters promoting fundraisers for sick people—sick children all too often—who don't have health coverage and whose families are being bankrupted by medical bills.

The redder the state, the more desperate the need for socialized medicine; the more desperate the need, the more rabid the support for politicians who oppose socialized medicine. But, hey, at least those politicians are makin' sure the queers can't get married. That's worth a few dead kids, ain't it?

Here, in glorious slow motion, set to soothing calming music, is a tubby guy getting shot in the gut 50 times by a Mach 11 style airsoft gun. It's like dew drops falling on the lake of your soul, guys!