As you may have noticed, you are being enticed more than usual to part ways with your dollars this month in the name of holiday gift giving. And while bowing to the pressure is hardly a virtue in itself, there are certainly more virtuous ways to scratch the itch (shopping at local outlets or better yet, buying products that are actually made in the region). Ignoring the big chain giants, and in addition to the regular updates posted daily on MOD, we've given a special place on the internet over to weekly roundups of all the sales, pop-ups and trunk shows designed to make the process of local holiday shopping easy, fun, and cost effective (like the Emily Katz sample sale, where you can score Portland-designed and produced womenswear for a tiny fraction of the original retail cost). Look for a new update with each new issue of the digital edition from now till the new year.

• Randall Garcia & Mikola Accuardi
• A look from Emily Katz's most recent runway show

• Illustration by Ryan Alexander Tanner

SO GUESS WHO HAS A BRAND NEW COLUMN IN THE MERCURY? Presenting Ian Karmel's Portland as Fuck. Here's a peep of his first column about the late night employees at mini-marts, also known as PORTLAND'S GREATEST HEROES.

And how do we repay these heroes? Scorn unfettered! When you see a teacher or a cop in a movie, they're played by Ryan Gosling or Mariska Hargitay. (Say her name out loud. It's a blast.) When you see a convenience store worker in a movie, they're played by me. If you bring home a date, and they're in the military, your parents will admire your date's commitment amid constant travail. If you bring home someone who humps the midnight shift at 7-Eleven, your parents will hide their prescription painkillers.

Welcome to the Mercury, Ian... and READ THE REST HERE.

I would have accepted "rutabaga."

Erstwhile Mercury employee Patrick Alan Coleman was renowned for his terrible My, What a Busy Week! pitches at our weekly editorial meetings. Invariably they involved hog's head slip 'n' slides or pole-jumping bingo or wedgie contests at nudist colonies, or some such nonsense. But it appears we might have a new maestro. Peep this doozy:

HEY, LADIES!—What's better than one piano? Two of them! And what's better than two pianos? Two pianos... DUELING! It's true. Mandarin Palace, notched into a part of Portland that's practically Beaverton, is making its "ladies night" that much more amazing. Enjoy the drink specials and bring your favorite song requests.
Mandarin Palace, 9225 SW Allen, Wed Sept 26, 7-10 pm, FREE, 21+

Dueling pianos at ladies night at a Chinese restaurant in Beaverton. (Tonight if you're interested!) So the question you're probably losing precious internet seconds over is: Who is this mysterious Busy Week pitcher? Let's poll it out. (Guess correctly and I'll send you their email address so you can inundate them with flash-mob and chakra-meetup press releases.)

I'm not really sure why people care what goes on behind the scenes at the Mercury... and yet? They do. SO! Here's yet another "Peek into the Mercury Editorial Process" where we set up a videocamera in our editorial meetings and let the camera roll. This is how we do what we do... and I only wish it was a bit more interesting. (Oh, btw, the guy in the green shirt at the :40 mark is news intern Nathan Gilles. I'm the fat guy in the black polo on the end.)

Indeed. As way too many of you noticed yesterday, a Gawker writer bending to the whimsical will of Anonymous—putting on a pretty pink tutu all so he could score an exclusive interview with the hacker collective—happened to be wearing a vintage Portland Mercury T-shirt beneath the presumably humiliating get-up.

Weird, right? But that's no ordinary Gawker reporter. It's Adrian Chen—a former Willamette Week intern and freelancer (from, like, 2006-2009) who quit these parts for the much bigger stage of New York City. Turns out, he got hold of his Mercury shirt during his brief stint in the Northwest. And it's still his favorite shirt. So he still wears it all the time. Including yesterday, when Anonymous issued its petty demand.

Because we're a hard-hitting news organization, we asked him all about it. So hit the jump, read what Chen had to say (WW has lousy shirts!)... and ... FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS HOLY AND DECENT AND SANCTIFIED ... STOP WRITING US, OKAY! Thank you.

Continue reading »

Because we know you're interested, sometimes we like to set up a camera in our editorial meetings so you can see for yourself how we make our decisions and put together the Mercury every week. Since the weather was nice yesterday, we decided to hold our meeting outside. (Note: Due to somewhat saucy language and the occasional naked bottom, I should probably declare this video a bit NSFW-ish. But really... what did you expect?) Anyway, this is how we do it.

We've got a few freshies over on the I, Anonymous blog—the city's playground for rants and confessions—including one that makes an eerily specific request to retail and service workers suffering from mild to severe acne:

I see what you did there. You had a zit that you just had to squeeze before i walked in. You probably thought no one would notice the now bright red blemish but I see your battle scars. I'd rather see a "ripe-n-ready" than a blown out bump oozing a clear bead of liquid any day.

Oh... kay. Ew. Read the whole disgusting thing over here, along with tales of vindictive Goodwill shoppers, Occupy protest love affairs, chronic binge drinking, and so much more.

"Hey, want to shout out that you just did the 23,000th post on Blogtown? I took a screenshot!" That's what my boss, Wm. Steven Humphrey, iChatted me a few minutes ago. "Okay," I said. So here's that screenshot he was all excited about:

• PHOTO COURTESY WM. STEVEN HUMPHREY

The post in question was about things that the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles say, which certainly would fill my college journalism professor with pride. You know, it's "accomplishments" like these that really make you question where you are in life and where you're headed, or, as the case might be, aren't headed, and—

WAIT A FUCKING MINUTE. Are you serious? This is my job? I get paid to write about the differences between "cowabunga" and "booyakasha" and every Friday is Otter Friday and somehow a blog I've been part of from the very beginning, when I unsuccessfully lobbied to name it "Werner Herzblog," just hit 23,000 posts? This is my life? This is Blogtown? FUCK and YES. I just had a goddamn moment of clarity and everything just got great and:

UPDATE: After I made everybody the office watch that video with me three times in a row, Steve was all, "So, is that how you feel inside right now, Erik?" And I was like, "Actually, no. That's how I feel every moment of every day. I was just stoked for all of us to have an opportunity to watch that together! No, Steve—after this momentous accomplishment, I feel like this."

Stay tuned for some poor bastard's 23,002nd Blogtown post, which will doubtless be a huge fucking disappointment.

This is a strange, sad post to write: On Tuesday morning, amazonfemme—one of Blogtown's longtime commenters and a real-world friend to a lot of us—took her own life. She was 33. She spent a lot of time on this site, and made friends through Blogtown meetups that I know were important to her, so I thought she'd want you guys to know.

Rest in peace, Emily. You'll be missed.

Let's cut the poop, shall we? It's a well-known fact that YOU are a Portland expert. You have strong opinions on where to eat, where to buy records, what sex shop is best... all that stuff. So why not put that big brain of yours to good use by taking the PDX Approved Survey? You tell us what's best, and we'll compile all your answers into one must-have guide hitting the streets on July 19. PLUS! By merely filling out at least 20 of the survey questions, you'll be entered to win SOME FABBO PRIZES including meals, hotel stays, great deals on must-have items, and more!

So don't delay! Take the PDX Approved Survey right now, and remember: Opinions are like buttholes... and yours smells sweetest of all!

Hello internet friends, enemies, and people we're slightly afraid might one day bomb the office. You may have noticed some recent changes to our commenting system, most notably the addition of "like" and "dislike" buttons, and the ability to subscribe to comment threads (no more annoying hitting "refresh!" until 3 in the morning!). You'll also notice that comments are no longer numbered—but don't worry! Bringing them back is on the to-do list, and in the meantime I guess referring to posts by name/time stamp is the next best option.

Bigger than the changes to our commenting system, though, are the upgrades to our mobile site—which now works on all phones with a browser including Android, iOS, Windows, Blackberry, etc. Merc Mobile has been completely revamped—event and restaurant info is now more easily searchable, and (this is awesome) the restaurant page now features menus. Plus, our blog, current issue, and issue archives are much easier to access and search. All told, it's a pretty giant improvement. Just dial up portlandmercury.com on your phone, and tap the "mobile version" link.

Feel free to leave your thoughts in the comments. I look forward to down voting them.

Need further proof that the I, Anonymous Blog provides an actual public service, rather than simply being "a troll trap" insidiously designed to lure the worst commenters away from Blogtown something else? Check out this handy advice to dudes whose texting etiquette leaves this gal cold!

It seems that puberty has gone in reverse. That men no longer understand that the use of the expression “LOL” or “☺” is not seen as attractive, but rather as if I am now texting a little brother. As I look at my phone I see an epidemic of these emoticons and text jargon, which honestly puts me off. If we have a conversation via text message and it amounts to 20 messages, do I need 10 smiley faces. And furthermore, the remaining ten of those messages I wrote. Do I really need text messages to contain smiley faces and exclamation points? Are we in middle school again?

SEE?? If it weren't for this person (and I, Anonymous) you'd still be an idiot. No need for thanks, just submit your own rant and/or confession to the I, Anonymous Blog!

Yet ANOTHER I, Anonymous submission that I whole heartedly agree with 100 percent, this one aptly entitled, "To the Guy Who Keeps Using My Towel."

You! The guy in men's locker room at the ODS Tower! STOP USING MY FUCKING TOWEL!!!!! The towel on my locker is there to dry. It is not there for your convienience! Do you honestly think it is ok to rub your wet balls and butthole on someone else's towel?

Let me answer that question: NO, IT IS NOT!! However it is acceptable for one to rub these things on the I, Anonymous Blog... currently awaiting your own rants or confessions!