Look, I don't care if you're a fan of WrestleMania or not—you WILL be a fan of this awesome and incredibly catchy synth-pop tribute to Hulk Hogan. (And be sure to stick around for the surprise ending! P.S. No, I don't understand it either.)

Hat tips to Radio Exile!

Another week, another Mercury music section to read while you celebrate Perry Farrell's sexiversary. What do you get someone for a ten year sexiversary? A vasectomy? Punch in the groin?

Speaking of groin punching, we talk to Art Alexakis from Everclear. It took ten years, but we finally covered that band. Look for our Pink Martini article in 2019.
LISTEN:

Everclear - "A.M. Radio"

The tale of Dutchess and the Duke is a great story of a band that accidentally stumbled into a record deal, and success, on the strength of their songs. Inspiring! Speaking of Dutchess, Fergie's debut solo album, The Dutchess, sold eight million copies. Depressing!
LISTEN:

Dutchess and the Duke - "Hands"

Rainbow Arabia travel the globe more than Carmen Sandiego. Sorry for that reference, it's just that everything I know about geography I learned from that show. Kick It, Rockapella!
LISTEN:

Rainbow Arabia - "Holiday in Congo"

I don't care if your guilty feet have got no rhythm, you are gonna dance again, and Friendly Fires is the band that is going to make that happen. Now stop the careless whispering and listen to this song.
LISTEN:

Friendly Fires - "Paris"

The Strange Boys have changed lineups—there is now a (strange) girl in the band—but that has not stopped the Austin band from churning out the raw R&B/rock and roll that those darn kids are so crazy about these days.
LISTEN:

The Strange Boys - "They're Building the Death Camps"

Local don't-call-them-lo-fi band Meth Teeth talks about their origins (spoiler alert: it had nothing to do with drugs or dental work) and their Everything Went Wrong LP. We'll be posting a much longer version of this piece later today, so cool your jets.
LISTEN:

Meth Teeth - "A Thousand Regrets"

End Hits: I still can't get the thought of a decade of Perry Farrell humping out of my mind.

We kill a lot of time around these parts partaking in the seedy exposed underbelly of Portland's finest strip clubs. That said, there is no better way to express our deep moral depravity than a week-long series of songs dedicated to such businesses. So every day this week we will post a song in tribute to Portland's nudiest of nude revues. We already have music lined up for a few (Mary's, Union Jacks, Dancing Bare), but we welcome your suggestions. Is there a good Jiggles song? If so, we really want to know.

Up first, the gem of China Town, Magic Gardens. Easily the finest musical option—their jukebox is excellent—the Garden is a perfect place to hide during bad opening acts at most any downtown venue.

Written by Jimmy Webb—and definitely not about a downtown strip bar in Portland—Dusty Springfield's bubblegum psych-pop version of "Magic Garden" isn't nearly as soulful as her Dusty in Memphis material, but still sways with her enigmatic delivery. I wonder if it's on the jukebox there?

LISTEN:

Dusty Springfield - "Magic Garden"

End Hits: Coming tomorrow, Union Jacks.

Since we know how much you love Australian rock bands with ridiculous hair, we are giving away a pair of tickets to see Wolfmother at the Roseland Theater this Thursday night. Click on over to End Hits for all the details.

Another week, another Mercury music section to read while you purchase this classy painting of Dimebag Darrell's murder. Classy!

DRUGS ARE GOOD! Mean Jeans party hard and worship Joey Ramone. Hey dudes, here's a hint: When trying to expense report cocaine purchases, put it under the "mileage" category. Duh.
LISTEN:

Mean Jeans - "Born on a Saturday Night"

DRUGS ARE BAD! From heroin to Hüsker Dü, the life of Grant Hart has included plenty of tough breaks, but he is back, armed with an excellent solo recording.
LISTEN:

Grant Hart - "Barbara"

CULTS ARE BAD! A survivor of the Children of God cult, Christopher Owens talks about his odd upbringing (flirty fishing!), and fronting the hyped-up rock act, Girls.
LISTEN:

Girls - "Lust for Life"

End Hits: What did we learn today? Drugs are good, until they are not good anymore, and God is evil. Yeah, sounds about right.

You kids and your crazy rock 'n' roll music! I certainly don't understand it! However, I will admit that this Lady Gaga person can create some toe-tappin' tunes... for someone who wants to be Björk, but is cursed with the lyrical depth and talent of the Steve Miller Band. Damn you, Gaga! I don't want to care... and yet… I MUST.

The new video for "Bad Romance."

Everyone knows that Saul Williams is the most talented man on earth. He's an accomplished poet, singer, activist, and actor. What's that? None of those things did anything for you?

Okay, time to bring out the big guns: He was in K-PAX!!

Now that we have your attention, we are giving away one pair of tickets to see the talented Mr. Williams at the Aladdin Theater on Sunday, November 15th. Click on over to End Hits for the details.

• Built to Spill = Dorks

Built to Spill is playing two shows at the Wonder Ballroom this week—a family-friendly all-age show on Friday, and a totally dirty 21&Over performance on Saturday night—and we are giving away three pairs of tickets to both shows. To win, head on over to End Hits.

• Chrissy Piper

In honor of Goat Friday—Cat Friday is dead. Long live Cat Friday!—we are giving away three pairs of tickets to see the Mountain Goats at the Wonder Ballroom on Wednesday, November 11th. Hoof on over to End Hits for your chance to win.

Another week, another Mercury music section to read while you dress your child like a hideous mutant. Correction: an adorable hideous mutant.

David Bazan and Jesus used to be so close that they'd carve "DB + JC = 4EVAH" into the trunks of trees. But those days are no more. Bazan's wonderful Curse Your Branches recording chronicles his fall from faith. Does that mean he's a free agent? You hear that Jews? He could be ours!
LISTEN:

David Bazan - "When We Fell"

BOAT are just like us, they put their pants on one leg at a time. Except once their pants are on, they create the funnest music known to man... while we're just happy to be wearing pants.
LISTEN:

BOAT - "We've Been Friends Since 1989"

The Mountain Goats find a copy of the bible—in David Bazan's dumpster—and proceed to write an entire record with blblical verses for song titles.
LISTEN:

The Mountain Goats - "Genesis 3:23"

In their first visit to Portland, Video Games Live combine symphony orchestration with video game soundtracks. Hey Mario Bros., take off those colorful overalls and put on something nice, you're going to the symphony!
WATCH:
Video Games Live Trailer

Our Town Could Be Your Life looks at former Meow Meow kid, Kelli Schaefer and her recent single series that will feature a new release every six to eight weeks.
LISTEN:

Kelli Schaefer - "City Morgue"

End Hits: Should we have used another joke for the Video Games Live link? How about: I’m sorry Mario, but the princess is in another symphony. That better?

• Brantley Gutierrez

Our great ticket giveaway continues: Dinosaur Jr. is next! We're parting with three pairs of tickets to see J, Lou, and Murph this Saturday night at the Wonder Ballroom. If you want to win, start choppin' your way over to End Hits. Good luck.

I know a few of you out there (okay, including me) had our hearts set on auditioning for, and becoming the lead singer of the death metal group Demolisher. Unfortunately, a front runner has emerged that makes our auditions look as empty as the holes in his ears. Ladies and gentlemen, meet Senor Bivens. (Umm... don't just stand there! Bow before the next lead singer for Demolisher, a-holes!!)

Earhole tips to Videogum!

Iceland's very own Múm will be making a rare appearance at the Aladdin Theater this Wednesday evening and we want to give you a pair of tickets. Click on over to End Hits for your chance to win your way into this show. Good luck.

This is a message for: Hardcore DEVOted spuds, casual Devo fans, Jocko Homos, Mongoloids, and those who enjoy the thrill of wearing an energy dome on their head.

We are giving away a pair of tickets to see Devo at the Moore Theatre in Seattle on Sunday November 8th and Monday, November 9th. Two nights of Devo, and we are parting with a pair of tickets to each show. Holy crap! Head on over to End Hits for your chance to win.

Another week, another Mercury music section to flip through while you assemble your skull artwork with nothing more than a few hundred cassettes. See? There is hope for the music industry.

Ironic? No. British? Oh, yeah. Art Brut tickle the fancy of our resident Red Coat, Matt Davis. What's next? Yours truly writing a news story about sit/lie regulations? That's a law about napping, right?
LISTEN:

Art Brut - "Alcoholics Unanimous"

Spoiler alert: At the end of this World's Greatest Ghost article, you'll find out that the band has been dead all along.
LISTEN:

World's Greatest Ghost - "The Royal Court"

The good news is that Sallie Ford sings like Olive Oyl from Popeye. The bad news is that Bluto just kidnapped her and sold her to the Sea Hag.
LISTEN:

Sallie Ford & the Sound Outside - "This Town"

A n00b's guide to the Fall into Darkness metal festival. It's three days of pure metal, so please bring a change of ear plugs and black T-shirts with illegible band logos on them.
LISTEN:

YOB - "Doom #2"

End Hits: Brits, ghosts, cartoon characters with eating disorders, and heshers.

It's no secret that, when the dust settles, Dirty Projectors' masterful Bitte Orca will be the most acclaimed record of 2009. And with the band coming to the Aladdin Theater on Tuesday, November 3rd, we'd like you to win a "Dirty Projectors Prize Package" that consists of a pair of tickets to the show, a LP copy of Bitte Orca, plus a poster to hang on your dorm room wall.

To enter, head on over to End Hits.

Eternal thanks to Videogum for unearthing this 1998 video in which Joe Pesci… umm… raps. Unironically, I assume. And yes, he's terrible. But as terrible things often go, this video eventually transforms from terrible to very nearly awesome. Check it out.

So this song ("Wise Guy") is from an actual album that you will find and buy for me—before Christmas, please. It was Pesci's second (!!!!) release, and entitled "Vincent LaGuardia Gambini Sings Just for You" (The name comes from the character he played in My Cousin Vinny, leading me to ask, where was Ralph Macchio's mother-effing album??) Check out the track listing, generously provided by Wikipedia.

Track listing

1. "Yo Cousin Vinny"
2. "Wise Guy"
3. "Take Your Love And Shove It"
4. "I've Got News For You"
5. "How Do You Like Me So Far"
6. "Robbie Hood"
7. "Twenty-One"
8. "Old Man Time"
9. "He'll Have To Go"
10. "I Can't Give You Anything But Love"
11. "If It Doesn't Snow For Christmas"
12. "What A Wonderful World"
13. "Yo Cousin Vinny (Italian)"
14. "Yo Cousin Vinny (Spanish)"

Repeat: You will find and buy me this album. And you will NOT keep it for yourself!!

Another week, another Mercury music section to flip through as you mourn the death of Kanye West, who most definitely was killed the other day. I believe everything I read on the internet. Now, if you don't mind, I have an appointment with my Nigerian financial advisor.

He's baaaaaaack! David Yow gathers up the rest of the gang, and now Jesus Lizard has returned. When I was 16, Yow once stepped on my head (while wearing a cowboy boot), using my tender skull as a launching pad to hurl himself into the crowd. It should be an amazing show, be sure to take the kids.
LISTEN:

Jesus Lizard - "Skull of a German"
(I know it's from their major label days, but I've always loved this song)

Speaking of kids, this weekend brings the debut of You Who, the interactive kiddie music event that features everything from puppets to Decemberists. Now can anyone loan me their kid so I don't have to pay the extra admission fee?
LISTEN:

The Decemberists - "Sons and Daughters"

Enjoy the colorful campfire sounds of Le Loup, and their dizzying new album, Family.
LISTEN:

Le Loup - "Beach Town"

Enter the wildly creative world of Neal Morgan's voice and drum experimentations.
LISTEN:

Neal Morgan - "Salamanders"

End Hits: You won't believe what we just heard about Rod Stewart. Evidently he had to get his stomach pumped because...