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Thursday, April 23, 2015

Pigs or People: Which is for Dinner?

Posted by Shelby R. King on Thu, Apr 23, 2015 at 1:13 PM

What do you purpose, readers?
  • What do you "purpose," readers?

Pigs will eat anything. Pigs will eat people.

Case in point: Yesterday, a Medford-area woman was convicted of murdering two men and feeding their corpses to her pigs. Gross, right? Well, yeah, except what's good for the goose is good for the gander. Or, more correctly, what's good for the human is good for the pigs.

Bacon-haters from People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA) apparently want this double murder to be a lesson to all of us. They have "purposed" (This is why we can't have nice things, TV news) this billboard, containing a cute little ingredient for a BLT piglet, reminding us all to put a green checkmark next to "Respecting All Life by Going Vegan."

Awwwwwwwww, cute. But, no. I personally am all about feeding pigs to people, and I could be convinced to get on board with feeding people to pigs. But I want to know how YOU feel, Mercury readers!

So let's have a poll, shall we?

Wednesday, May 2, 2012

Barenjager Honey Liqueur Lab

Posted by Chris Onstad on Wed, May 2, 2012 at 11:29 AM

The adjunct spirit in question.
  • Barenjagerhoney.com
  • The adjunct spirit in question.

I never know who—or if—to thank for these packages. Barenjager, known to less-than-most as a German honey liqueur, sent in a sample bottle of their new Honey & Bourbon boozer. Though initial impressions bring to mind the nipple-searing tipple of a pertussic bosun, our friendly bartender Nick Keane worked some magic on the stuff one recent afternoon and came up with the following smartly-balanced cocktails. All on the five-person tasting panel found at least one favorite among the bunch, so if you have a bottle of this curious premium liqueur ($28.99 MSRP) kicking around, may this guiding light help your feet find the path. It is, as Nick succinctly put it, “definitely an adjunct and not a base spirit.”

Recipes and flavor sets after the jump.

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Tuesday, March 20, 2012

Plaid Pantry Recipe Contest Winner!

Posted by Chris Onstad on Tue, Mar 20, 2012 at 9:59 AM

A Clever Chocolate Cream Pie.
  • David Dekrey
  • Ingredients for a Clever Chocolate Cream Pie.

We have a winner in the Plaid Pantry recipe contest! David Dekrey, please come to the Mercury offices (bring your ID) to claim your sexy, high-quality Bialetti Aeternum ceramic frying pan. The recipe for David’s chocolate cream pie is after the jump, along with a photo of the finished product.

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Thursday, March 8, 2012

Free "Valuable Thing" Contest: Win a Frying Pan!

Posted by Chris Onstad on Thu, Mar 8, 2012 at 10:59 AM

The Bialetti cookware company sent me two 12” nanoceramic nonstick frying pans. One was for me to futz around with at home, and the other was to be given away to readers. This sexy pan is a $40 value, and yours for the taking if you meet my Frugal Reader Cooking Challenge, as outlined below.

The Bialetti Aeternum Could Be Yours.

CONTEST: You can’t swing a dead cat in this town without doing so relatively near a Plaid Pantry (try it sometime). “The Plaid” is inexpensive, ubiquitous, always open, and stocked with a fairly consistent set of goods. Think up a complete sweet or savory dish using only edibles from this store, mail your idea (and perhaps photos of your experiments, if you actually test it?) to chris@portlandmercury.com, and we’ll test out the best-sounding ones. The winner will be announced here in one week, and then told to come pick up their fancy new pan.

The pan will just be in an area; there will be no ceremony.

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Wednesday, March 7, 2012

The Birth of Food Pie

Posted by Chris Onstad on Wed, Mar 7, 2012 at 9:58 AM

Caught up in the socio-erotic minefield that is the 39th & Powell Safeway, I had not before now experienced the Grocery Outlet. Consider it the Marshall’s of goods both perishable and tinned: the milk may go sour in seven minutes (Hurry! Drink it! Drink the milk, dear little Timothy!), and the expired bath tissue may feature gnomes in balaclavas, but I think you could buy the entire place out for twenty-three dollars. As a personal challenge, I decided to make chicken pot pies from their inventory, and this is what resulted:

Food Pie.


For your consideration, I present: Food Pie! For about nine dollars I procured enough crusts, organic drumsticks, fresh broccoli, and frozen potatoes O’brien to make three 12” pies. Dinner for eighteen, at around fifty cents per soul.

Cross section of food pie.

The drumsticks were fricaseed in salted water until cooked, then the meat shredded off. The broccoli was quickly blanched and chopped, the potatoes crumbled apart but added frozen. The ingredients were bound together in a hot pan with a simple, seasoned milky roux until just a tad too moist (to account for evaporation during cooking), dumped onto the raw bottom crust in a springform pan, covered, baked until emotionally appealing, and then gazed upon by cherubim. I think I feel a Frugal Reader Cooking Contest coming on.

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