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Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Feeling Sorry for Carrie Prejean

Posted by Dan Savage on Tue, Nov 17, 2009 at 2:22 PM

This detail in the reports about the seven other sex tapes and 30 additional "salacious" photos—so many youthful mistakes!—kind of makes me feel bad for Carrie Prejean...


Some of the new sexy photographs that have been unearthed Prejean allegedly took herself, of her own reflection in a mirror, alternately topless and completely naked.

Carrie Prejean is young, beautiful and not very bright. And she wasn't politically active until she gave a convoluted and inaccurate answer to a question about same-sex marriage at the Miss USA pageant. Here's the answer that launched a hundred billion blog post. From her response it's clear that Prejean believed same-sex marriage was already legal in all 50 states:

"I think it's great that Americans are able to choose one way or the other. We live in a land where you can choose same-sex marriage or opposite marriage. And, you know what, in my country, in my family, I think that I believe that marriage should be between a man and a woman, no offense to anybody out there. But that’s how I was raised and I believe that it should be between a man and a woman."

Carrie thought it was great that Americans were free to choose between same-sex and opposite marriage—we're not, of course, but she thought we were—but she personally believed that marriage should be between a man and a woman. I can live with that. In fact that's all gay people really want. Gay people should be free to marry and other people should be free to believe that our same-sex marriages are wrong because their religion forbids it or because that's how they were raised or because they just think it's icky. Just because same-sex marriage is legal doesn't mean that everyone is required to approve. Interracial marriage is legal despite the disapproval of some; inter-faith marriage is legal despite the strong and sometimes violent disapproval of most religious traditions; divorce is legal despite the disapproval of Jesus Christ himself and despite being forbidden by the Roman Catholic Church. Gay people want the same deal interracial couples, inter-faith couples, and divorced-and-remarried couples all have now: our marriages should be legal even if some people disapprove.

Back to Prejean after the jump.

Continue reading »

Monday, November 16, 2009

Hobby Pornographer Carrie Prejean Offered Opportunity to Go Pro

Posted by David Schmader on Mon, Nov 16, 2009 at 2:04 PM

TMZ has the scoop:

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TMZ has obtained a copy of a letter Vivid Entertainment honcho Steven Hirsch sent to Prejean's lawyer, Charles Limandri. Hirsch is asking to acquire the rights to distribute "erotic footage that Carrie Prejean, former Miss California, produced for her boyfriend following their four (4) day rendezvous in February 2007"...In the letter, Hirsch tries tempting Carrie with this: "We would like to present Carrie with several options where she could certainly earn millions of dollars."

TMZ spoke with attorney Limandri last night, and it looks like Carrie's not biting. Limandri says Carrie's mom/rep says, "No, at any price."

Oh man, this is getting mythic. Carrie Prejean has almost literally been offered a multi-million dollar deal with the devil. Not for "new work," mind you, but just for signing a release. In these uncertain economic times, being offered millions of dollars to betray everything you allegedly believe in must be exquisite torture.

If this were a Choose Your Own Adventure novel, my first pick would be for Carrie Prejean to continue to refuse any and all porn offers and re-brand herself as the face of Christian sex, reclaiming her homemade diddling videos as a legal-in-God's-eyes adherence to sexual abstinence until marriage. (However, I don't think Prejean ever made any noise about abstinence, and was most likely banging the guy she sent the vids to, so my second pick would be for Carrie Prejean to keep refusing any and all porn offers until a bidding war drives her price into the tens of millions, which she will accept, giving half of the money to the National Organization for Marriage and the other half to Sarah Palin's 2012 presidential campaign. I know this would be putting money in the pockets of my enemies, but the Prejean vids are going to be leaked to the masses whether she signs off or not, and it just doesn't seem right that she should come out of this awful betrayal by her would-be boyfriend without some consolation-prize compensation, to do with what she pleases...)

The Rain Makes it... You Know... "Grow"

Posted by Wm.™ Steven Humphrey on Mon, Nov 16, 2009 at 12:20 PM

We're in for another rainy week, you guys! But that's okay, because God made the rain so that the flowers, erections, and plants can grow and... what? Wait... did I say "erections"? Of course I didn't! That would be... c'mon, that would be gross, man. "Erections growing in the rain." Pssshht! I mean... sure, I love the feeling of a fresh spring rain running down my frenulum... who doesn't? But "rain" causing "erections" to "grow"? That's impossible.

Right?

Thursday, November 12, 2009

Carrie Prejean Knows From Inappropriate

Posted by Dan Savage on Thu, Nov 12, 2009 at 10:35 AM

Carrie Prejean almost storms out of television studio because the questions are too tough—on Larry King Live?

Prejean threatened to walk off King's Wednesday night interview after King asked her why she'd settled a lawsuit against the Miss California USA Pageant.... Prejean didn't answer.

King repeated: "You can't even say why you settled?"

"Larry," Prejean replied, "it's completely confidential and you're being inappropriate."

It gets worse for Prejean. A caller begins a call with, "I'm a gay man and I love pageants," and Prejean reaches to disconnect her mic. "Did she hear the question?" King asks. Prejean retorts, "Yeah, I think you are being extremely inappropriate right now, and I'm about to leave your show."

Carrie only takes questions now from straight beauty pageant fans, Larry. Here's the video...

First, you have to love the way Carrie waves her book around and smiles at the camera. That sent little starbursts right up my leg. And it seems pretty clear that Carrie was prepared to continue with the interview until Larry took a call from a gay man. That was the last straw—Miss Prejean isn't interested in speaking with gay people, only persecuting gay people. And why would she take off her mic off and then sit there? This is how you take off a mic and storm off a set, Carrie.

ALSO! And it turns out that Carrie isn't a child pornographer after all—just a liar.

Carrie Prejean's ex-boyfriend—the guy to whom she sent the XXX solo video—tells TMZ Carrie and company called him last week and tried getting him to "lie" and say she was 17 when she shot the video. During an audio interview with TMZ, the man—who asked us not to reveal his identity—says Carrie sent him the video when they were involved with each other in 2007. He says Carrie sent him numerous explicit videos and insists the one in question was shot when she was 20.

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Mormon Church Backs Gay Rights Law In Salt Lake City

Posted by Dan Savage on Wed, Nov 11, 2009 at 10:15 AM

As mentioned in Good Morning News, Magic Underpants, Inc., came out in support—support—of a gay rights law.

Salt Lake City has become the first Utah city to offer housing and employment protections for gays and lesbians—an action supported by the Mormon church. The City Council, in a unanimous vote Tuesday, passed a pair of nondiscrimination ordinances that would bar landlords and employers from discriminating based on sexuality—a protection not currently afforded under state or federal laws. In a rare public appearance before local lawmakers, a representative from The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints read a supporting statement at a public hearing before the Salt Lake City Council....

It's a welcome development—we'll take it—but no one is fooled: this "rare" action is an attempt to blunt charges of anti-gay bigotry leveled against Magic Underpants, Inc., in the wake of Prop 8 and the assault on the rights of gay couples that was waged and funded by the Mormon Church. This action wouldn't have been taken if those charges—legit charges—hadn't been leveled. And they just had to get a dig in...

"The church supports this ordinance because it is fair and reasonable and does not do violence to the institution of marriage," said Michael Otterson, managing director of the LDS Church's public affairs office.

Take it from the Mormons—they know all about doing violence to people's marriages.

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

Catholic Bishop: Gays Are Not Welcome At Vatican City

Posted by Dan Savage on Tue, Nov 10, 2009 at 9:50 AM

The presence of gays and lesbians—even as tourists—represents "a provocation and an abuse," and is "offense to our religion." Um... has this guy met the light-in-his-Prada-loafers pope? And good thing there wasn't a ban on gay people hanging out at the Vatican when that cocksucker was painting the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel.

Friday, November 6, 2009

Today in Commercials for Abortion

Posted by David Schmader on Fri, Nov 6, 2009 at 10:07 AM

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Thanks to hot tippers Not Me and Ida Know.

Tuesday, November 3, 2009

Marriage Equality in Washington D.C.

Posted by Dan Savage on Tue, Nov 3, 2009 at 9:41 AM

The District of Columbia is debating the legalization of same-sex marriage. The loudest voices being raised in opposition belong to African American religious leaders and it makes for pretty depressing YouTube viewing. But Lurleen at Pam's House Blend points out that more black clergy in D.C. support marriage equality than oppose it. And they're making their voices heard:

[When I saw a] delicious article by Tim Craig in today's Washington Post, called "Pastors unite to support same-sex marriage in D.C.", I just had to stop and take a look. A quote from the article encapsulates what we here at The Blend have known but some in the general public may just be catching on to: 'There is this myth out there that you can't be pro-God and pro-gay.' Move over Harry Jackson, because here's the real face of D.C. clergy. Meet The Reverends Christine Y. Wiley & Dennis W. Wiley of Covenant Baptist Church, and co-founders of Clergy United for Marriage Equality: "Rev. Christine Y. Wiley... noted that many District churches have a history of fighting for social and economic justice.... "It just really seemed like a natural thing that we would do," Wiley said. "We believe as African Americans who have been discriminated against [that] we don't have the right to discriminate against anyone else."

Here's hoping the Rev. Bernice King gets the message.

Monday, October 12, 2009

At First It Was Hard To Feel Sorry For Them

Posted by Dan Savage on Mon, Oct 12, 2009 at 10:36 AM

Thomas and Amanda Stansel were having trouble conceiving so they opted to undergo fertility treatments. Hospitals, doctors, hormone shots, sperm injected directly into Mrs. Stansel's uterus. And Mrs. Stansel wound up pregnant—with six fetuses. Their doctors urged them to "reduce," or selectively abort, some of the fetuses or risk losing them all. It was hard to feel sorry for them when I read this...

The Stansels rejected Dr. Grunert’s advice and, since then, their vision of a family has collapsed into excruciating loss: the deaths of four children after their premature births on Aug. 4, including one who died late Sunday night. The two other infants remain in neonatal intensive care, their futures uncertain.

“I feel like we bonded with all of them, the short time they were here,” Mr. Stansel said. “We were able to hold them before they passed away.”

And it was really hard to feel sorry for them when I flipped the paper over and saw the picture of the Stansels that was under the fold: they're posing with the casket containing the remains of three of their children—and they couldn't look more pleased with themselves. And then I read the rest of the story and I wanted to kill the Stansels with my bare hands...

When Dr. Grunert discovered that Mrs. Stansel was carrying multiple fetuses, he handicapped her odds of delivering six healthy infants at practically zero. Eliminating some of the fetuses would give the others the best chance for survival....

For the Stansels, the decision was influenced by their membership in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. The church generally opposes abortion. After learning that Mrs. Stansel was carrying sextuplets, the Stansels decided to meet with church elders and consult with a reduction specialist.

“It just never felt right,” Mr. Stansel said. “We prayed many nights. A lot of sleepless nights. Originally we thought we might do the reduction. We chose to carry all six and, we believe, let God do what he’s going to do.”

What? If you were gonna let God do what He's going to do, you shouldn't have sought out fertility treatments. Here's what God was gonna do: God was gonna make you infertile. God did that, actually, and then you thwarted God's plan for you—that you be infertile—and availed yourselves of the latest medical technologies and sought the help fertility specialists. Then you ignored the advice of your doctors and refused to reduce the number of fetuses you were carrying and now four premature infants have died in great pain and two more will very likely die—but, hey, you'll get another smug, self-satisfied, just-letting-God-do-what-he's-gonna-do photo op out of it, so it's not a total loss. And it's all material for the blog you're writing about "your journey," and there'll probably be a book deal in it for you when it's all over ("Thom & Amanda Minus 6").


Mrs. Stansel delivered the sextuplets on Aug. 4, about 14 weeks premature. The babies were born so early that no medical care would have been rendered unless the parents requested it.

Dr. Jarriel, the neonatologist, said the survival rate of babies at the stage they were born was about 60 percent to 65 percent. If they survived, the Stansels were told, there was a 100 percent chance that they would have problems. But the couple asked the hospital for the most extraordinary measures to save them.

“We wanted to do all we could for them, to save them,” Mr. Stansel said.

“Give them that chance,” Mrs. Stansel added. “That’s the doctors giving their statistics. God doesn’t work in statistics.”

Four of their six babies are now dead. So it looks like God does work in statistics after all—if He didn't, Mrs. Stansel, then the world would be an entirely random/miraculous place and we wouldn't be able to make any predictions about anything and there wouldn't be stats about anything. Jesus.

Why I Date God Instead of You

Posted by Wm.™ Steven Humphrey on Mon, Oct 12, 2009 at 9:18 AM

1) Because God doesn't insist on changing clothes three times before we go out.
2) Because God doesn't play mind games over the phone.
3) Because God doesn't whine about me always taking Him to Applebee's.
4) Because God never does this: "BLAH BLAH BLAH, NAG NAG NAG."
5) Because God never makes me beg. Except when I'm praying.
6) Because when God "blasts" me in the face, He let's me "blast" him back.

You never did that.

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

Kirk Cameron Republishes the Classics

Posted by Ned Lannamann on Tue, Sep 22, 2009 at 2:18 PM

Taking a cue from Reader's Digest and the Harvard Classics, former Like Father, Like Son star and nutjob Mike Seaver Kirk Cameron is jumping into the publishing game. Watch this video and learn about his very special upcoming edition of a classic that's approaching its 150th birthday. Gosh! It sounds like a super educational way to make reading come alive... just like those Living Classics comic books that were advertised on TV when I was a kid!


(Did you spot the Hitler?)

Monday, August 17, 2009

Your Christian Confession of the Day

Posted by Dan Savage on Mon, Aug 17, 2009 at 11:30 AM

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More confessions at Post Secret.

Thursday, August 13, 2009

Is This Preview for Legion the Greatest Movie Trailer of All Time?*

Posted by Erik Henriksen on Thu, Aug 13, 2009 at 2:34 PM

Fuck Angels & Demons. I want angels VERSUS demons! With machine guns! And nasty old ladies! And exploding Dennis Quaids!

Which means I want Legion. Which means January cannot come quickly enough.

*That's a rhetorical question, which is code for "a question everyone already knows the answer to." The answer, in this case, being "YOU'RE GODDAMN RIGHT IT IS."

Converting Hindus to Christianity… for Dummies

Posted by Wm.™ Steven Humphrey on Thu, Aug 13, 2009 at 10:51 AM

Okay, so yesterday I shared with you an amazing 3-D video of deep space that was designed to humble maniacal egotists such as you and me. However, after learning that many of you were a little too humbled by the experience, I began looking for a video that would counteract those effects, and actually make you feel wildly superior—at least to those pictured in the video.
And so… BEHOLD! Two wildly uninformed teenagers try to convert their Hindu friend to Christianity. WARNING: The depth of ignorance depicted here is simultaneously staggering, hilarious, and ultimately depressing. If there is a Jesus? He won't let these kids grow up.

Thursday, July 30, 2009

Kissed Off

Posted by Dan Savage on Thu, Jul 30, 2009 at 3:38 PM

The Salt Lake Tribune obtained this video of Mormon security guards—four of 'em—confronting, pulling apart, roughing up, and handcuffing the gay couple who shared a kiss on a plaza—a formerly public plaza—in front of the main Mormon temple in downtown Salt Lake:



Trespassing charges against the men have been dropped
because, according to the local prosecutor, the men believed they were in a public place and not on private church property.

Salt Lake City Prosecutor Sim Gill said Wednesday he will not prosecute a gay couple cited for trespassing after they shared a kiss on the plaza. "The two individuals believed—albeit mistakenly—that they had the right to be there," Gill said. "Fairness requires that either that property be not open to the public or you condition that [openness] in a way that the person who comes on understands that it is private property."

A nationwide kiss-in protest is being planned for August 15. Kiss-Ins have been announced in San Francisco, Los Angeles, Chicago, Iowa City, Little Rock, Salt Lake—and according to the group's Facebook page, Portland.

Monday, June 29, 2009

God Hates Mondays

Posted by Patrick Alan Coleman on Mon, Jun 29, 2009 at 9:29 AM

Here's a cheerful Monday morning musical message from the Westboro Baptist Church. It's one hell of a catchy tune and I defy you to keep from singing the chorus all day long.

Wait. Wait. I thought God was supposed to love the world. My mistake.

Friday, June 26, 2009

Michael Jackson Jokes: Too Soon?

Posted by Matt Davis on Fri, Jun 26, 2009 at 10:04 AM

I just received some jokes from my best mate in England about the death of Michael Jackson. This illustrates the difference between our two nations perfectly: While the Oregonian is earnestly considering whether Jackson's legacy will be tainted by the oddities of his latter years, and Portlanders are busy organizing "memorial bike rides," my English pals are laughing so hard about the whole thing over warm buckets of lager that their bad teeth might fall out. "fnarf fnarf fnarf, very funny...." Etcetera.

So we're going to do a poll about whether you would like to read them. If you would, I'll post them after the jump at 3 o'clock this afternoon. If not, then "good taste" will prevail.

MICHAEL JACKSON JOKES: TOO SOON?

I should probably also point out that it's already been three o'clock in England for three hours. And if you want to contribute to the sick, sick, disgusting haul of absolute non-comedy (I'm hedging my bets, here) feel free to email me.

Update, 3:05pm: Okay, you fucking sickos. They're after the jump.

Continue reading »

Tuesday, June 9, 2009

Wednesday, June 3, 2009

Most Popular I, Anonymous Best of the Merc

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