While I'm not going to justify the actions of the rapscallion who wrote scatological words on various snow covered cars on NE 28th—between Burnside and Stark—that doesn't mean I didn't think it was pretty funny in a really juvenile way.

From the "Poo Mobil" to "Diarhea" (it's a tough word to spell, I won't judge you for missing it), almost every vehicle on the entire block was prominently marked. Nice form, young prankster. Keep honing those skills and you'll be working here in no time!

Because if you do, you might want to walk back over to my house and pick up your damn stroller.

This frozen block of stroller has been abandoned out in front of my house since Saturday, and I'm a little concerned for its former occupant and the sort of parent that would just ditch baby's ride in someone's front yard. Aren't these things expensive?

Also, it's days like this that make me wish I defaulted on my mortgage and bought that cherry red Hummer. Look at that thing! Boom! Right over the snow.

While KATU (studio location: NE 21st and Sandy) has been frantically, giddily engaging in nonstop reporting on SNOWPOCALYPSE!!—indeed, they've been breathlessly, repetitively announcing minute-by-minute conditions for days now, reporting from such far-flung locales as, say, the snowy intersection at NE 21st and Sandy—one thing that's utterly awesome about their coverage is meteorologist Scott Sistek's excellently named weather blog, Partly to Mostly Bloggin'.

Just looking outside and you can tell Old Man Winter paid us a visit, but in Lake Stevens, it looks like he put in a personal appearance!

GYAH! THE FUCK IS THAT? HAUNTED ICICLE! HAUNTED GODDAMN ICICLE! OLD MAN WINTER WILL KILL US ALL! THERE HE IS! KILL IT! KILL IT! IF WE MELT HIM THE SNOW WILL GO AWAY!

KILL IT!

From the Mercury Flickr Pool:

greenwoodimages

The initiation of a Snowball Earth event would involve some initial cooling mechanism, followed by runaway cooling due to increasing ice accumulation. The initial cooling could be facilitated by an equatorial continental distribution, which would increase the Earth's albedo near the equator, where most solar radiation is incident.

This arrangement would also allow rapid, unchecked weathering of continental rocks, a process that absorbs the greenhouse gas carbon dioxide from the atmosphere, resulting in further cooling.

Alternatively, changes in solar energy output or perturbations of Earth's orbit could act as a trigger. However the initial cooling comes about, resultant ice accumulation would reflect solar energy back to space, further cooling the atmosphere and generating more ice cover.

This feedback loop could eventually produce a frozen equator as cold as modern-day Antarctica.

Via Wikipedia.

After watching days of hysterical ARCTIC BLAST!!! news coverage, I've had a kind of epiphany (huh, that's appropriate for the holiday season.) From here on out, I refuse to watch anymore news coverage of snow events. That's right, I'm living on instinct.

I've realized that my years in Portland have turned me into a whiny little bitch. Whaaaaaaah, I can't go outside because it's too coooold! Waaaaaaah, I can't leave the house because it's snoooowing! Whaaa, whaaa, whaaaaaa.

Eff that! I seem to have forgotten that I grew up in the Rocky Mountains. I also lived in Alaska fer chrissakes. I'm trying to remember at what point, exactly, Portland's winter took my nuts. Well, I'm over it. From now on, I will know the weather by the scent in the air, and the shades of the clouds. I shall venture into the cold and wet! I shall drive on the ice! I shall wear only animal skins and hunt the mighty ptarmigan for sustenance. I shall get my nuts back!

In other words, I'll follow the (NSFW) example of GI Joe's Snowjob:

I've been getting all of my weather news via Twitter, like this reaction video from the One True b!X that really drives home the severity of the situation:

Plus I have learned that the Green Dragon will be open tonight because they aren't "scared of a little snow"; Powell's is open regular hours today; as of an hour ago it was still snowing a little in St. Johns... thanks new media!!