Oh, Stargate Universe! What times we've had! From the heady days when your first worrisome details were released, to the confusing moment when Begbie from Trainspotting was cast, to the tepid first reviews, to Steve's interview with a Stargate nerd, to that crappy Blu-ray set, we've wasted entirely too many pixels and hours on you.

And now you're gone.

It was obvious this was coming, because the show kind of sucked and no one watched it. That said, delusional executive producer Brad Wright did his best to blame Stargate fans for his show's impending failure—apparently, they were just too bitter too appreciate his masterpiece.

"I don’t think if we for any reason go away, it is an issue necessarily of the quality of the product that we’ve been making,” said executive producer and co-creator Brad Wright. “I think getting moved on the schedule has hurt us. And the fact that some of the fans that liked SG-1 and Atlantis were so angry that they have deliberately hurt us, which is unfortunate.”

No, Wright, that's not "unfortunate"—that's more or less exactly what you can expect to have happen when you (A) try to coldly exploit a fanbase, while also (B) taking away everything about said fanbase's preferred franchise that made 'em like the stupid thing in the first place.

But let us not speak ill of the dead. Considering that Universe's cancellation is almost certain to be the final nail in the coffin for a once wildly successful franchise, let's take a look at some of the finest Stargate fan art and cosplay the internet has to offer. For some reason, a lot of it is really gay; also, there are Stargate-themed cakes! I call them Starcakes, you see.

Continue reading »

• Begbie, Lou Diamond Phillips, and some chubby kid—together at last.

As Steve points out in his nuanced, insightful interview with a Stargate nerd, Stargate Universe premieres tonight.

Despite my better judgment, I'll readily admit that, for whatever reason, I've seen all 10 seasons of Stargate SG-1 (most of them, um, twice) and all five seasons of Stargate Atlantis*. These facts are probably pretty strong indicators that I enjoy this franchise a great deal, despite the tag this post is labeled under. The best I can explain it is like this: So far, Stargate has been kinda terrible, true, but no more so than True Blood or something—it's bad, yes, but enjoyably and addictively so.**

Stargate's showrunners seem intent on ditching the camp with Universe, though, which, they keep telling everyone, is DARK and SERIOUS and WILL NOT HAVE MACGYVER MAKING JOKES EVERY FIVE MINUTES. Stargate Universe appears to be what happens when the dudes responsible for this guy decide to put their grown-up pants on, and tonight we'll see how well that goes.

From the limited info we have so far—the Mercury wasn't sent a review copy of the pilot, possibly because we think the above tag is funny—Universe sounds... well, less like Stargate and more like a certain other science-fiction show. From the Times' so-so review:

If the setup sounds familiar—a small group of humans stranded in space finding their way home—it’s because it’s similar to that of Battlestar Galactica, Syfy’s other popular interstellar franchise (which has its own new series, Caprica, coming in January). The premise was the best thing about Galactica, so give [Universe creators] Mr. Cooper and Mr. Wright credit for choosing their models well.

Syfy has promoted Universe as an “edgier” show than the earlier, jokier Stargate entries, which in space opera terms were Puccini to the Wagner of Galactica. And there’s plenty of tension in the premiere. The refugees’ troubles are only beginning when they escape to the alien ship, which is starting to break down after eons of travel. Already fault lines are developing between the soldiers and the civilians, just as in Galactica.

Far more promising than all of the sketchy Galactica ripoffs parallels is the fact that noted science-fiction author John Scalzi is Universe's creative consultant, a title that he explains on his blog.

I’ll get early versions of the scripts, and I’ll go through them and give notes, pointing out where I think the science could be tightened up, or where I think a character is doing something inconsistent, or where I think there might be a real world repercussion for something that’s been put into the script. While I’m doing that I’m also looking at where the script and the events fit into the larger picture, and calling attention to things I think are significant, which the producers and writers will have to deal with later. This latter bit is particularly important in the case of SG:U because the nature of the series—a bunch of people thrown to the ass-end of space with very limited resources—means that they have to pay attention to things other series can take for granted.

To give you a very small example: bullets. The characters come into the ship with a certain number of bullets. It is very difficult for them to get any more of them. So I count the scenes where bullets are used and I send notes that say “now, you know you have that many fewer bullets now, right?” The point is not just to be OCD anal (although there is value in that in this case), but to remind everyone that realism is something we’re looking for, and the choices we make now will have an influence later.

So that sounds kinda promising, right? But still, I gotta say that I'm already missing goofy, old-school, I-kinda-feel-like-I've-had-too-much-NyQuil-when-I-watch-this Stargate, in which shit like this happened ALL THE TIME.

RIGHT?!

Stargate Universe airs tonight at 9 pm on Syfy.

*Actually, months ago, I meant to do a review on Blogtown of the fifth season of Atlantis, which I never got around to, so here's the short version: It's pretty good, mostly because in one episode, Bill Nye the Science Guy has a cameo!

**There's also a weird thing that happens when you watch both SG-1 and Atlantis where you realize that absolutely no one in the cast or crew is taking anything about the show seriously at all. This, combined with the franchise's tendency to cast pretty likeable actors, goes a long way towards giving the show a generally pleasant air of lighthearted affability; one ends up kind of liking the show, even though as they're watching it, they're probably thinking that their time could be better spent doing just about anything else.

Much like their turn at the Peach Pit on 90210, last night at Edgefield the Flaming Lips made a very special appearance on a very special show (short-bus special)...

Stargate SG-1!

See there's the band busting outta of the gate during "Vein of Stars," while a group of Goa'uld furries stare in dismay:

• Unscheduled offworld activation!

Check out their promo picture:

• Thanks Nick!
• Flaming Space MacGyver Lips

The above image is more or less the sort of thing you can expect to see on a regular basis if you watch Stargate SG-1 or Stargate Atlantis, two shows that I tell myself I loathe (they are terrible!) yet I can't stop watching (I'm sorry I said you were terrible, Stargate!). At Powell's last week, I even stooped so low as to buy this—an involuntary, shameful purchase that caused me to run home and immediately start cutting myself (such tiny, tiny cuts!) to regain some small sense of control over a life that's clearly picking up momentum as it tumbles into a downward spiral.

ANYWAY. If you, like me, have been lying awake nights, tossing and turning and wondering who's going to star in the new Stargate series, Stargate Universe, then toss, turn, and wonder no more! From The Hollywood Reporter:

Robert Carlyle has been tapped as the lead in Sci Fi Channel's new series Stargate Universe.

...Described as edgier, darker and younger-skewing than its predecessors, SGU follows a group of soldiers, scientists and civilians left to fend for themselves when forced through a Stargate after their hidden base comes under attack. The survivors, who emerge aboard an ancient ship missing in the far reaches of space, are led by Dr. David Rush (Carlyle), who works to unlock the ship's mysteries and return the group home but also might have ulterior motives....

"Robert Carlyle brings a depth, intelligence and complexity to his roles, which will fit perfectly with the fresh, new reinvention of this franchise," Sci Fi original-programming chief Mark Stern said.

Oh, for fuck's sake. First, Mark Stern is lying, and I think he knows it—Stargate Universe isn't going to be "edgier," "darker," or "fresher." It can't be. It's Stargate, which means it's going to be more people in cheap, goofy costumes running around a bunch of "alien planets" that, for some mysterious reason, all look exactly like Vancouver, British Columbia. Which is, in fact, just fine. Don't try to make this shit dark and edgy, Sci Fi Channel. Battlestar Galactica is dark and edgy. Stargate is... well, Stargate is whatever the fuck that image is at the top of this post.

Second, and all snarkiness toward Stargate aside, the casting of Carlyle seems almost... dare I say... competent? I mean, dude's a good actor, at least. We'll see how this "Dr. David Rush" character works out, but to be honest, I'm going to have a hard time not thinking of him as "Cap'n Begbie." Would you get onto a spaceship with some douchebag named after these guys? Of course not. But would you follow this man into "the far reaches of space"?

Yeah. Me too.

Is this the right tag? I get all the Star shows confused. Erik is sick today, so as Acting Resident Nerd that leaves it to me to point you toward the treasure trove of a Flickr set that PDX Pipeline unearthed yesterday. Photos taken in downtown Portland last week by Sopke Photography.

So the worst TV show ever in the history of TV was Stargate SG-1. And then Stargate Atlantis happened, and made SG-1 look like the goddamn The Wire. And then everyone was all like "JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, HOW COULD IT GET ANY WORSE?"

Well, get ready for your next bonershrinker, nerds. GateWorld got a breakdown of the casting sheets for the upcoming Stargate TV show, Stargate Universe, which, yes, actually exists, I guess. A couple of highlights from the new slate of characters:

Eli Hitchcock
20-25. Total slacker. Utter genius. Mathematics, computers, anything he puts his mind to. Acerbic sense of humor. A social outcast. Comes from a broken home. Lacks confidence because his true intelligence has never really been recognized like Matt Damon's character from Good Will Hunting with a little Jack Black thrown in.

Ron "Psycho" Stasiak
20, all ethnicities. Marine. Big, strong, silent. You want him on your side. You don't want him mad at you. Lacks control over his temper in non combat situations. His past is a mystery but it's clear something dark formed the hard shell around him. Yet, there must also be some moral center because otherwise he'd kill everyone around him. Think Eric Bana's character "Hoot" in Blackhawk Down.

Chloe Carpenter
20ish. Stunning and sexy. Daughter of a U.S. Senator. Silver spoon upbringing and a little spoiled but not stupid either. Politically and socially savvy. Dreams of following in her father's footsteps but for now she's a bit of a party girl in her first year at an Ivy League school. Her father's tragic death and the dire circumstances of being trapped on a spaceship seriously tests her character.

Discriminating Stargate fans are already reacting to the news with delight on GateWorld!

After Atlantis is over, and except for SG and Trek repeats, I NOW HAVE NO REASON TO WATCH SCI-FI.

can i vomit my breakfast, they cancelled the best show in the world for that, incredible, babies stargate OMG ! 20 years ? really ? is it credible (babies soldat in space) i prefer my 40 years David and Joe, not old and hot ! SGU it's a shame.

I think two of the SGU characters should be Lieutenant Jennifer Hailey (SG-1 epsiodes #419 "Prodigy" and #513 "Proving Ground") and "Tyler" the mind-altering chemical-chamoflage alien (The "Reole") from SG-1 Episode #504 "The Fifth Man".

Great lame-ass Gateworld removed my comment too! What a joke, what happend to freedom of speech? Arent i allowd to have an opinion? The post i made wasnt even bad anyway, just voicing my concerns about having a load of kids involved. You dissapoint me Gateworld.