DAMN YOU, HILARIOUS OLD SPICE COMMERCIALS! Why must you continue to be so hilarious? Isn't it enough that I post your ads for free, AND I rub you under my arms? Goddddammmmmitttt!!! BUY OLD SPICE!

As you may have noticed, all the nets are releasing trailers this week touting their new fall lineup of shows—and adorable baby net The CW is no exception. They've just squirted out five of 'em, including this one for The Tomorrow People—which true to CW form is another vehicle for hot teens with supernatural powers. AND THAT IS NOT AN INSULT. Keep 'em comin', CW!

While we're all thrilled about Arrested Development returning on May 26, DO NOT FORGET that you'll need to cram in some time to watch the other TV event of the season, Beyond the Candelabra—the biopic about Liberace directed by Steven Soderbergh (!), and starring Michael Douglas as Liberace (!!) and Matt Damon as his personal companion/lovah (!!!). Here's a new extended trailer, and OH MY SHIT. I cannot wait to watch this!

That's Beyond the Candelabra, May 26, HBO, 9 pm. YESSSSSS.

ABC released a whopping 12 new show trailers yesterday afternoon, and they are all—with the exclusion of Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D and The Goldbergs—universally TERRRRRRIBLE. If you feel like checking them out for yourself, have fun—but they all feel like movie trailers for the worst romcoms and dramas you've ever seen. How are these weak-ass ideas supposed to sustain themselves for more than a single episode? DON'T ASK ME. However, I will be watching Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D (which I am so very tired of typing) and The Goldbergs starring Jeff Garlin and Wendi McLendon-Covey which looks legitimately funny. Check it out.

And just to torture yourself, check out this TERRRRRRRIBLE trailer for the new Rebel Wilson sitcom Super Fun Night. (Now exactly why do people think she's funny?)

If you're a regular watcher of FX—home to a good many of the best shows on TV (Hello, The Americans!)—then you've probably noticed the quick, mysterious commercials for their upcoming crime drama The Bridge, debuting July 10. Well, they've finally released a full-length trailer and it looks goooooood, and creeeeeeepy. Here's a quick synopsis of The Bridge:

Demián Bichir stars in the role of “Marco Ruiz,” a homicide investigator for the state of Chihuahua, Mexico living in Ciudad Juárez. A family man, Marco is one of the last good men in a corrupt and apathetic police force that is outgunned by the powerful drug cartels. He’s sharp, charming, and observant and painfully aware that his city is in a state of chaos. When a body is dumped on the bridge that spans the El Paso-Ciudad Juárez border, Ruiz is forced to work with his American counterpart, Detective Sonya Cross (Diane Kruger).

You may ask yourself, "Why are they being forced to work together?" Get ready for the creeeeeepy answer in the extendo trailer.

I AM GOING TO WATCH THIS. (via)

The cast of Bob's Burgers came through town Friday night on a five-stop tour of the US. The show was at a packed and hot-as-hell Crystal Ballroom.

John Benjamin and Eugene Mirman start the show by riffing on Portland for a little while. Best line is from Mirman, about how everyone in Portland is required to carry a turntable and an original Velvet Underground and Nico “with the banana unmolested.”

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Joss Whedon joins Twitter! (I love it when people you figured were old hands at Twitter finally decide to jump on the boat. So adorable! FOLLOW HIM.)

Jimmy Fallon's new Tonight Show and Seth Meyers new Late Show will debut during the Winter Olympics in February, as if you care, and I know you don't, so why am I even typing these words?!?

Carrie Underwood will star in a live TV stage version of The Sound of Music in February—and guess what? The Von Trapp great grandchildren visited the Mercury offices this morning, and inspired one of two reactions: either INSANE ECSTASY or baffled indifference. No in-betweens.

24 is returning for a 12 week run next May, and yet? THEY ARE NOT CALLING IT 12. I declare shenanigans!

And finally, NBC has released SIX trailers for some of their new Fall shows (including Dracula), but here's the one I'm most excited about: The Michael J. Fox Show about a news anchor that retires after getting Parkinson's (!!) and decides to go back to work. IT'S FUNNY, GUYS. (Sigh of relief.)

Look, I'm not watching this thing. I want to go into the fourth season of Arrested Development completely fresh, and I don't know why anyone would want some of the jokes telegraphed in advance. But if you want to see it, here it is:

Stoned, bearded Stan is your favorite Stan. Until Now. Did you know Stan was a Teenage Heartthrob in the 90's?

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Adorable! Hit the jump for this week's Mad Men recappage.

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Rumor has it that Community—the once great sitcom, now a rather annoying un-killable herpes sore—may yet return for another season. SIGH. From Vulture:

NBC is very close to ordering a fifth season of Community, Hollywood insiders tell Vulture. NBC isn’t commenting, and there’s still discussion going on about the exact number of episodes (though it should be at least thirteen). But after the show’s solid Nielsen performance last night — it tied American Idol among adults under 35 — NBC brass decided it made sense to return to Greendale for at least one more semester.

SIGH. In other—far more fascinating—TV news, Mike Tyson will star in his own animated cartoon for Adult Swim where he solves mysteries... with a pigeon... and his magical face tattoos. From Variety:

In the new animated comedy series Mike Tyson Mysteries, Mike Tyson is taking the fight from the boxing ring to the streets… by solving mysteries! Armed with a magical tattoo on his face and a trusty associate by his side — a talking pigeon — if you have a problem that needs solving, Iron Mike is in your corner. The series incorporates live-action appearances featuring Mighty Mike himself, and the gloves come off as the former heavyweight champ and his fowl-mouthed partner gear up for weekly adventures as they put unsolved mysteries — like how to defeat a super computer at chess or why a famous author/werewolf can’t finish his novel — down for the count.

Good day. I SAID, "GOOD DAY, SIR!!!"

The verrry funny folks at Bad Lip Reading have another dub-tastic masterpiece for you guys—because this time they're lampooning The Walking Dead! (Unsurprisingly, you'll wish it were real. Especially "the musical" portion. WATCH!)

First of all, the GIF everyone wants to see:

That pratfall came right after Pete yelled out, "DRAPER!" like a curse word across the office. Find out why after the jump!

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I'm pretty sure I don't care how many Hangover sequels he does—I love me some Zach Galifianakis so much, I don't even have to Google his name anymore to see how to spell it. He's hosting Saturday Night Live this week, and in the following verrrrrry funny pornos, he's teamed up with Jason Sudeikis who... did I just write "pornos"? I meant "promos." Anyway, these guys clearly hate each other.