Today's proclamation: If every show on TV were even half as good as "The Channing Show" (in which Channing puts on a show with her stuffed animals), I would happily become one of those morbidly obese people who dies in front of the tube.
Unfortunately, I'm not sure if Channing can maintain the hilarity of his episode which becomes EXTREMELY PAINFUL at the 30 second mark.

Get well soon, Channing.

In which parodies of Seth MacFarlane's lazy-ass sitcoms prove to be vastly more entertaining than Seth MacFarlane's actual lazy-ass sitcoms.

Via Warming Glow.

Not surprising in the least... Joss Whedon's Dollhouse is officially dead after suffering from terrible ratings, according to Ain't it Cool. This is not to say I'm not a wee bit sad, but even I had lost hope of Dollhouse making a miraculous turnaround.

Sigh.

• Sooooo sleepy... must keep eyes open... zzzz.

Some things are so pleasantly simple that they need no expansion, like BLTs, children's books (yeah, even you, Where the Wild Things Are) and Twitter feeds. No wait, scratch that last one. Apparently CBS thinks that you can turn awesome-internet-sensation-of-the-moment Shit My Dad Says into a primetime sitcom. This will mean, of course, gutting it of any profanity, which some would argue is integral to the humor of a Twitter feed called "Shit My Dad Says." Or do I mean "Stuff My Dad Says?"

Are you laughing? No? What if CBS brings in Will & Grace creators, David Kohan and Max Mutchnick to produce and supervise writing? Nobody knows how to expand upon a thin concept without running the same two or three jokes into the ground like the creators of Will & Grace, right?

But don't overexcite yourself just yet. There's also this tidbit from the same article:

Fox is developing a multicamera comedy based on popular Web site TextsFromLastNight, with Sony TV and Happy Madison producing.

Will either of these sitcoms be able to repeat the success of ABC's breakout hit, Cavemen? The world holds its breath.

Hat tip to the AV Club.

It's right here at the Daily Beast. Interesting, ya'll!

Plus! Jon Hamm answers viewers' questions HERE, and the always brilliant Footnotes of Mad Men season finale wrap up is HERE.

As I mentioned in my TV column this week, those who refuse to watch Mad Men (and specifically Mad Men season finales) in a timely manner, and then scream "SPOILER!!" whenever anybody else wants to talk about it CAN SUCK IT. (Not necessarily a "Fandango Can Suck It™, but still... you can suck it.) However! I'm happy to meet you halfway on this, and therefore I will only utter a few cryptic remarks about last night's Mad Men season finale, so that those who would like to post some comments in that commenty-thingy down there can do so, and so the "SPOILER!!" yellers can continue "can sucking it."

1) HORSE KICK TO THE FACE!!
2) "Thop thaying that!"
3) HORSE KICK TO THE "FART" DEPARTMENT DOOR!!
4) "Umm… what do you mean 'affair'? I mean… sure… he works for the governor's office, and I threw a fundraiser for him, and I kissed him in my car for five minutes, but other than that I've never seen this man before in my life!"
5) On TV, crying babies are the deus ex machina of domestic abuse.
6) "I don't want to make a career out of being there for you to kick me when you fail." YA BURNT!!
7) New plan, guys. I want you to fire me so I can leave and start a new blog… BUT JOAN COMES WITH ME.
8) And you know what? Screw Conrad Hilton. What the fuck was that all about anyway?
9) A big thing in the 60s: Offering someone an amazing employment opportunity, but before they accept, you have to apologize for hurting their feelings.
10) Five bucks says the housekeeper gets stuck with Sally Draper—forever.

Here's a video of Roger's best one-liners!

I've been to Maine a couple of times… but have never really spent any time there. So I really have no idea about the population there, or why they would vote against same-sex marriage—but apparently these guys have a bit of a reputation. Check out this classic clip from the old Dana Carvey Show (co-starring Stephen Colbert), which explains things a bit.

In case you've missed it, meet the guys behind I Love Local Commercials, who go around the country making commercials for small businesses that need help getting the word out. And even better, the ads are WEIRD and FUNNY. Here's their newest commercial starring the Salt Lake Community College Barbering & Cosmetology School. (Great jingle, you guys!)

Ooh! And here's one my sister sent me that originates from her hometown of Cullman, Alabama. Thanks, sis!

Season Three of Mad Men has been uniformly A-MA-ZING. Certainly better than season two, and probably better than season one. And last night's episode was no exception. Check out what one of my fave sites (The Footnotes of Mad Men) had to say about it.

“So, we’re driving, two couples, I call it ‘Double Date.’ The woman in the back’s scarf blows off, and her hair starts blowing. Her hairdo falls apart. (Marty Faraday in the ‘backseat’: ’Oh no!’) And then the woman in front takes off her scarf, and hands it back to the woman in the back. (Peggy: ‘Take mine’.) And he says, ‘Are you sure Marsha?’ Marsha’s hair is perfect. And then her date gives her a knowing smile of admiration on her confident smile — Aqua Net: Arrive in Style.”

Peggy’s going to be working extra late.

Mad Men: Taking national tragedy to awkward new heights.

Dear Melissa Joan Hart (AKA Sabrina the Teenage Witch):
When discussing your current role on Dancing with the Stars, please refrain from back-sassing Jimmy Kimmel. Because he will reverse back-sass you. And you will be burnt. At the stake.
Roll it.

It pains every part of me to say this, but pretty damn far.

How sad is it that the kindest thing I can say about Spaceballs: The Animated Series is that it isn't the worst cartoon I've ever seen? It's like Mel watched a few episodes of Futurama, and spent a weekend slapping together something in Flash that the stereotypically braindead G4 audience would enjoy almost as much as watching sweaty, nearly naked dudes hump each other into a coma.

Even with all the episodes available for free on Hulu, I can't bring myself to witness just how unfunny my favorite Jewish comedian has become in his twilight years.

I really want the man to publicly state that he's just doing this for the easy paycheck. That's the only valid excuse for this unfunny, poorly animated mess, and at his age I can only hope I have the mental faculties to sell out this hard.

Update: The series does improve as time goes on, but it still never remotely approaches the quality of Brooks' earlier work. If you have six hours to kill — sadly, I do — and absolutely HAVE to see everything Mel has done, you could feasibly consider watching this thing.

Last Thursday, David Letterman announced that someone on the CBS staff was trying to blackmail him for $2 million in exchange for not revealing that he had at one time been sexually involved with some of his staff members. Naturally, Dave said "SCREW YOU" and confessed the whole thing on the Late Show. Last night he apologized for his behavior, to his staff, to his wife, and of course Sarah Palin. If you ever get in trouble, folks, here's how to issue a mea culpa.

Now that he's apologized, let's recall him. And when that recall fails, let's recall him again.