In fact, I believe it was still illegal for gay couples to adopt back when this straight 48-year-old millionaire adopted his 42-year-old girlfriend:

The multimillionaire trust-fund heir adopted his 42-year-old girlfriend Heather Laruso Hutchins last fall, after being accused of drunk driving in a 2010 accident that left 23-year-old Scott Wilson dead. Goodman is being sued by Wilson’s parents for wrongful death. According to police reports, Goodman ran a stop sign on February 10, 2010 in Wellington, Florida and smashed into Wilson, sending his car into a canal.

Scott Wilson, a 23-year-old graduate of the University of Central Florida, was killed in 2010
Circuit Judge Glenn Kelly had previously ruled that the trust funds set up for his two biological children were off-limits in the lawsuit, according to the Palm Beach Post. Court papers show that Goodman adopted Ms Hutchins in October of last year, CBS12.com reported. ‘My reaction was that it was both awful and brilliant,’ Belray Beach adoption attorney Charlotte Danciu told CBS12.com. The adoption papers state that Hutchins, now a legal child of Goodman, is immediately entitled to at least a third of his trust.

Is incest against the law in Florida?

Because this is too good to keep to myself. I know it's insanely long, but a little goes a long way. The Mercury's Marissa had this to say after watching it to the end: "Now I'm hungry, tired, and thirsty." Plus, Alan Thicke makes some grievous fashion decisions if you make it to the seven minute mark, I think one woman's last name is C3PO, and I think I've cracked the code about where Hooters determined that nude pantyhose and scrunchy white socks are sexy.

h/t to Facebook

I spotted this flier last night on Belmont.

God, I hate when Portland Indoor Family Swim night is cancelled. Good thing there's still bowling! The phone number on the flier takes you to the voicemail for Hidden Spring Nudists.

Reader Bryan sent us a photo this morning of a strange tile installed in the sidewalk at SE 7th and Hawthorne.

The marker is part of a mysterious cultural phenomena called the the Toynbee Tiles. No one's sure who created or started installing the tiles, but they've popped up in many US and South American cities over the past three decades. They have cryptic messages about killing journalists, resurrecting the dead, science, and philosophy. It seems that some of the tiles are installed by copycat artists, imitating the style of whoever started installing them originally.

The tiles were recently the subject of a documentary film, which looks rather spooky.

I've got no idea when the tile showed up on SE Hawthorne—has anyone else seen it? This is the first I've heard of it.

Though I am loathe to admit it, the Mercury has hired someone who has little to no regard for the English language. (And no, I'm not talking about the entire staff.) I'm talking about sales account executive Marissa who said, and I quote, "I luv 2 abbrev e-thing!" (Translated: I love to abbreviate everything.) That's fine with me—I avoid communicating with her at all costs. HOWEVER! She did bring up an interesting quandary: How does one abbreviate the word "usual"? Stumped for an answer (and not caring to think about it any further), I'm punting this to the internet/abbreviation savvy residents of Blogtown. So what is it, you guys?

HOW WOULD YOU ABBREVIATE THE WORD, "USUAL"?

Alex Z. and I are at the 101st annual Pendleton Round-Up, the historic rodeo that feels like Oregon's Mardi Grad. The small town is overrun with tight-Wranglered cowboys and friendly strangers who will give you and five friends lift to the bar in the back of their pickup truck.

After pulling in last night, I haven't actually made it to the rodeo itself yet—the finals are today. But there's already been plenty to see. Here are some things that made me laugh.

1. The Eagles Club, where you can get a drink with grandmas who talk a blue streak and purchase this pin:

2. The Dalles, where the road signs read, "West The Dalles" and "East The Dalles."

3. "You better get frisky or get nice." — Which is what a new friend said to me at the Rainbow Room when I got too argumentative.

4. A bar named Crabby's.

Dad, it was one thing to get drunk at our annual Christmas parties and run around wearing mom's bra on the outside of your shirt. It was another thing for you to loudly sing Cher's "Gypsies, Tramps and Thieves" whenever my cool friends came over. But your poor imitations of a seal? Dad... STOP IT!!! YOU'RE EMBARRASSING ME!!!

Embarrassing, embarrassing Dad.

A text document entitled "A list of awesome movie titles," which I have no recollection of writing. I now present it to you, unedited, in its entirety.

• Boat Cop
• Space Dragon Who Solves Crimes
• Time-Travelin' Boat Cop
• A Punch to the Face in the Dark
• Big 2: Larger 'n Life!
• Wise-Crackin' Pterodactyl
• Ninja Dog
• Sabertooth Tiger: The Movie (in 3D)
• Point-of-View Shots of People Going Down Underground Waterslides, Like That One Part in Goonies But for 90 Minutes Straight
• Boat Cop Goes to Busty Summer Camp
• Monkeys Who Travel by Catapult
• Kevin James Gets Hit in the Groin Again
• Bar Fight: The Movie (in 3D)
• Boat Cop vs. A Dinosaur Made Out of Fire

Steer clear of Pioneer Square, everyone.

"Popular and functional beverage" manufacturer Neuro is convening a flash mob there at 5pm. The flash mob is a totally underground-grassroots surprise, which is why Neuro sent out a press release about it and hired a dance troupe!

More questionable than the "flash" and "mob" qualities of this flashmob is... what the hell is a "functional" beverage? Neuro's handy press release says it's a drink that "supports a variety of cognitive functions" (including NeuroGasm, which stimulates blood flow to the body).

It's a modern miracle! Someone has invented a drink douchier than Vitamin Water.

Anyway, 15 minutes. You've been warned.

Not to give anything away to totally give away the content of this week's issue, which is going to be in your hot little hands today or tomorrow anyway, it features an article written by a rather sassy commercial beekeeper who answers many questions people commonly have about bees/beekeeping. Including why on occasion I come home to about 15 dying bees congregated around my kitchen windows heaving their last breaths (my cat learned the hard way not to eat them, barfing one up so quickly that it was still alive in his puddle of puke). Coincidentally (?), on the other side of the country the bees are acting up. I'll take 15 more bees dying on my windowsill over the prospect of going out to drop a postcard into the mailbox and finding it impenetrably covered by an entire hive's worth of stingers like New Yorkers in Manhattan did yesterday:

Continue reading »