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Wyld Stallyns

Wednesday, May 1, 2013

Rival Facebook Group Has Seven Reasons to Keep Police Horses on Ice

Posted by Denis C. Theriault on Wed, May 1, 2013 at 11:59 AM

Yesterday, we told you about a quickly rising Facebook group devoted to keeping alive the police bureau's mounted patrol (It's up to 1,500+ likes!).

Today, we can point you to a Facebook group that really likes Mayor Charlie Hales' proposal to get rid of the popular (and occasionally unnerving) horses and save the city $1.1 million. This one's called the Coalition for Alternatives to Mounted Police. Some of its supporters include people who supported a never-considered charter amendment that would have banned the use of police horses during protests.

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And how's it doing? It's only got 50 likes. For now! But more interestingly, it also has seven reasons why mounted patrols aren't a good idea. One of those reasons mentions the several decades between the Depression and 1979 in which the police bureau went without a horse unit. Hit the jump and take a look at the rest.

Continue reading »

Tuesday, April 16, 2013

Portland Meadows' Fate Perhaps Hinges on Tomorrow

Posted by Dirk VanderHart on Tue, Apr 16, 2013 at 11:29 AM

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Long-time North Portland institution Portland Meadows has been flagging now for a long time.

The horse track reliably loses money each season. Its bid to draw fresh blood to the track this summer worked in part, but wasn't remotely profitable, as I reported in the Oregonian earlier this year. And there's now some question whether its owners—Ontario-based horse fanatics at the Stronach Group—will shutter the track.

That might, in part, be determined by a hearing in Salem tomorrow, as two bills before the House Business and Labor Committee are slated for a work session. House Bill 2613—a measure Portland Meadows General Manager Will Alempijevic sees as a sure path to financial prosperity—would allow the track to install "instant racing" machines. The slot machine-like devices let gamblers bet on virtual races, using actual results from past contests.

The other measure, House Bil 2614, would increase the ratio of money scraped from online bets that goes to the Oregon Racing Commission, which then reinvests that money in higher purses and marketing.

I asked Alempijevic whether the bills are going to determine whether or not Portland Meadows, in operation since 1946, hangs around for another season. He's not quite saying.

"These bills are of the utmost importance to solidifying the future of racing in Oregon," Alempijevic wrote in an e-mail. "The industry is not looking for a handout but instead the industry is looking for ways to support ourselves and both bills will provide that opportunity.

"Portland Meadows’ parent company The Stronach Group has sustained significant financial losses as the operator of Portland Meadows and with justification, they have not committed to operations beyond PM’s current licensing period at this point."

Continue reading »

Wednesday, April 10, 2013

Horse Has Sexy Time with Vacuum Cleaner

Posted by Wm.™ Steven Humphrey on Wed, Apr 10, 2013 at 11:14 AM

In honor of the Mercury's "Pet Issue" hitting the streets today, here is a video of a horse that seemingly loves to have his tongue vacuumed.

[pause]
[pause]
[pause]

I have nothing more to say about that.

Pick up the Mercury's "Pet Issue" today!

Monday, March 19, 2012

The Best Harmonica Player/Whip Snapper You'll See All Day

Posted by Wm.™ Steven Humphrey on Mon, Mar 19, 2012 at 2:14 PM

Quit your job, divorce your wife, leave your kids, throw all your money in the river. It's time for you to actually DO something with your life. For a sterling example, meet Adam Winrich—the world's foremost authority on playing the harmonica and crackin' whips at the same time... LIKE A BOSS. Get up from your office chair, walk out on your job without saying a word and never come back—because topping this is your new priority.



via

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Wednesday, December 14, 2011

Portland Citydweller Pop Quiz

Posted by David Schmader on Wed, Dec 14, 2011 at 10:14 AM

Wednesday, August 17, 2011

Now You Can Own Tim McGraw

Posted by Ned Lannamann on Wed, Aug 17, 2011 at 9:59 AM

Our new favorite website has some amazing things for sale: Tim McGraw. K.D. Lang. Roseanne Cash. Miley Cyrus! Taylor Swift! Patsy Cline—the second. Aaron Neville!

No, these are not the country singers for sale. It's something even better: Tiny donkeys!

From the front page of "Country Music Miniature Donkeys":

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Yep, it's a tiny donkey farm, and all the donkeys are named after famous country singers. Take a look at who's for sale. The site provides hours of entertainment, and hopefully you'll find a little something for your wishlist.

Country Musics Garth Brooks!
  • Country Music's Garth Brooks!


h/t: Nathan

End Hits: Of course they named the black-colored tiny donkey Aaron Neville.

Wednesday, August 3, 2011

Blu-ray Review: Conan the Barbarian and Conan the Destroyer

Posted by Ned Lannamann on Wed, Aug 3, 2011 at 9:59 AM

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Just in time for the new 3D reboot of Conan the Barbarian (which stars Khal Drogo and hits theaters August 19), this week Universal released Blu-ray discs of 1982's Conan the Barbarian and 1984's Conan the Destroyer. Based on the pulp hero created in 1932 by Robert E. Howard, and bearing little connection to the Marvel comic (which is how many, myself included, first encountered Conan), the films differ wildly from each other in tone and style—Conan the Barbarian is a dark, fucked-up, incredibly violent epic, while Conan the Destroyer is a light and relatively family-friendly fantasy. These were the movies that effectively launched Arnold Schwarzenegger's international film career, and barring The Terminator, I'd say Conan is the best role he's ever had. The Universal discs are unexceptional barebones releases without much in the way of new content, but the films look impressive and hold up surprisingly well. (Universal had the good sense not to grace 1985's lousy Red Sonja with a Blu-ray release.)

Continue reading »

Monday, April 25, 2011

Now's the Time to Get Excited About that Bill and Ted Movie That's Never Going to Happen!

Posted by Erik Henriksen on Mon, Apr 25, 2011 at 11:59 AM

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Via io9 comes the news that the script for Bill & Ted 3 is finished. Or at least that's what Alex Winter's telling people on Twitter, in between all his appointments of doing nothing (9 am-11:15 am), looking out the window and waiting for the mailman so he can see if there's anything in the mail for him today (11:15 am-4:35 pm), and doing whatever stupid chore he has to do today based on his stupid housemates' stupid chore wheel (4:35 pm-4:37 pm).

“@antmaurizio: Bill and Ted 3, less than 6 weeks away and counting? Movie is gonna kick some ass." > Just got the script. And now to read...

Y'know, if I was Alex Winter and I'd spent the better part of the last decade talking about/hoping for/praying to God about/blackmailing Keanu into appearing in a Bill and Ted sequel, I'd probably have read that script right off the bat, rather than tweeting about it, but hey, the guy's got priorities. Anyway, as much as I love the Wyld Stallyns—and believe you me, I do—and as much as I'd love a Bill & Ted's Geriatric Adventures—which believe you me, I would—this movie has about as much of a chance as happening as Ghostbusters 3. (Which isn't happening, BTW.) Keanu and Alex "There's the Mailman! I See the Mailman!" Winter are too old, the property's been dormant for far too long, George Carlin's dead (R.I.P., Rufus), and nobody ever talks about this, but Bill & Ted's Bogus Journey kind of blew. Sorry, my fellow children of the '80s and/or early '90s. At least we'll always have that fake Inception trailer.

Friday, April 8, 2011

Bud Bundy Discovers Local Hiphop Talent!

Posted by Ned Lannamann on Fri, Apr 8, 2011 at 12:41 PM

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Move over Jay-Z, looks like Bud Bundy has gotten into the rap impresario game! Bud Bundy (played by actor David Faustino) is hosting the mixtape release party of one of his acts, local hiphop artist Patience Price, right here in Portland, at Dante's on Thursday, April 21. Hit us with your best shot, press release!
David Faustino and Old Scratch Artists bring you Patience Price. He will be performing at his mixtape release party, Thursday April 21st at Dantes in Downtown Portland. Patience Price, born and raised in Portland Oregon has spent the last few years in Dallas Texas developing his musical style. He recently moved to Los Angeles where he was discovered by David Faustino, the child star of Fox’s hit TV show, Married…with Children. David has a legendary eye for spotting hip hop talent. In the 90’s David operated the first hip hop club on the Sunset Strip and helped create a showcase for local artists like Will I Am, that helped him be discovered and signed by Eazy-E.
The press release goes onto say that Patience Price's debut mixtape Adrenaline & Vodka includes "drops" from Fred Durst, Cypress Hill, and Tom Green. If Bud Bundy's legendary eye for hiphop talent is any indication (he discovered Black Eyed Peas!), we can expect Patience Price to be playing the Super Bowl halftime show in 2013.

David Faustino presents the Patience Price Mixtape Release Party, April 21 at 9 pm, Dante's, 1 SW 3rd, $10

End Hits: Sorry, but we get all our hiphop from that blonde kid on Who's the Boss.

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Tuesday, March 1, 2011

WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH THIS PICTURE?!

Posted by Erik Henriksen on Tue, Mar 1, 2011 at 1:19 PM

Fucking MYRTLE BEACH?!
  • Fucking MYRTLE BEACH?!

Are you seriously telling me that the closest Medieval Times is NINE HUNDRED AND EIGHTY-EIGHT MILES from the Mercury offices?!

Monday, January 3, 2011

If You're Not Yet Excited About This Year's Northwest World Reggae Festival...

Posted by Ned Lannamann on Mon, Jan 3, 2011 at 5:07 PM

That's because you haven't seen this picture yet. (Taken from NWWRF's recent promotional email.)

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  • Joe McLaren/Rogue Agent Photo

A picture of a dreadlocked white guy inside a geodesic dome says more than words ever could.

This year's fest takes place August 12-14 in a place called Marcola, Oregon, and tickets can be purchased here.

End Hits: Is that a Tostitos shirt he's wearing?

Friday, September 3, 2010

Lynyrd Skynyrd Pop Quiz

Posted by Ned Lannamann on Fri, Sep 3, 2010 at 12:58 PM

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Pop quiz!

Guess which Lynyrd Skynyrd lyrics are from the Ronnie Van Zant days, and which are from last year's Gods and Guns album. Both sets of lyrics after the jump.

The abomination that still calls itself Lynyrd Skynyrd performs tonight at the Oregon State Fair in Salem.

End Hits: Between posts about Sublime, Dave Mustaine, and now this, we have been super mean all day today.

Continue reading »

Tuesday, July 27, 2010

Finally, a Trailer for Bill and Ted's Excellent Inception.

Posted by Erik Henriksen on Tue, Jul 27, 2010 at 9:55 AM

Okay, this is the last fake Inception trailer I'm gonna post on Blogtown. Promise. Keep in mind that I wouldn't post it if it wasn't great. Trust me, jerks—strange things are afoot at the Circle K.

Via FilmDrunk.

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