Just when you think Portland can't get any more precious, it goes and becomes a hub for the revival of urban wineries. Diversifying away from the sacred cow of Pinot Noir, these small-batch operations are bringing wine making back to the city, as is European tradition. (And yes, they buy their fruit. Most winemakers, even out in the Valley, are not vintners, apparently, and that whole "wine tasting in the country" thing is an American invention, anyhow.)

So. On Saturday I caught the Short Bus for one of their periodic urban winery tours (other tour themes include an all-lady sex toy shopping excursion, FYI). It took us to four locations, starting at the Southeast Wine Collective, which houses Division Wine Making Company, Fullerton Wines, Vincent, Helioterra, and Bow & Arrow. It was the only place on the tour that I was already familiar with, and it was there that I bought my first bottle of the day (this would become a re-emerging theme).

The deal with the bus is that you can drink on it—they even provided us with insanely thick, idiot-proof wine glasses, but pace yourself. The tour lasts for almost five hours, and there is a lot of wine involved. The smallest location we visited, by far, was Jan-Marc, who produces an astonishing seven types of wine out of his garage in residential North Portland. Sitting in the sun on his driveway sipping his amazing "Bastard Red" goes down in the top five most Portland moments of my life.

The ride on the bus alone is $35 a head, and you'd be best advised to purchase an urban winery passport for $20, which covers the day's tastings and gets you a 10% discount on any bottles you purchase (and you will). I ended up buying four bottles of wine, you guys, instead of groceries, the water bill, and cat food. I feel fine about this, but if you take one of these tours (it was really quite delightful), you'd better bring your wallet. It was not the cheapest afternoon, although I was very impressed that the pricing was reasonable, with most bottles falling somewhere between $15-30. (Do I sound like a yuppie? I really, really feel like a yuppie.)

• Barrels of fun at Alchemy Wine Productions.

But seriously, next time you are showing a foodie of any stripe around town, this is a pretty slick move. It nails a lot of the city's most winning qualities (funky buses, micro-production, day drinking) in one fell swoop.

PDX Beer Week, unfortunately, is drawing to a close, but there are still plenty of events left. Last night at the release party for the Gentlemen's Club collaboration between Widmer Bros and Miami's Cigar City (on tap tonight at The Rookery Bar at Raven & Rose), I was reminded of just how awesome this city's beer scene is. It was actually not one of the collaborations that reminded me, and it wasn't any of the awesome offerings from Cigar City (e.g. cucumber lager) which have not ever been available within 1000 miles or so of here. It was a fourteen-year-old mead dug up from the depths of Widmer's keg storage. A delicious, full-bodied, 11% ABV mead, the combination of drinkability and high acohol content of which, according to the Widmer rep I talked to, is the sole reason meads are no longer allowed at the Oregon Brewers Festival.

The point is, things like this just happen in Portland all the time. That this week is called PDX Beer Week is almost a non sequitur—isn't every week beer week in Portland? Regardless, here's where you should be drinking this weekend:

You should, right now, be drinking rare and exciting Colorado beer at Belmont Station's Colorado Beer Day. Something like Crooked Stave being on tap in Portland is reason enough to go, but you can also try Backcountry, Elevation, Grimm Brothers, and some rare offerings from Great Divide and New Belgium. Put down your tablet or whatever the hell gadget you read this on and go. And then just stay in the neighborhood and hit Horse Brass, where all of their rotating taps are Portland beers for the whole weekend.

On Saturday, Old Town Brewing is holding an irresistible George Jones Tribute Beer Festival. Ten brewers releasing George Jones-inspired beers, served alongside classic country tunes. This is the kind of thing that needs to happen more often in this town. (This is like that classic funeral test to find out if you're a psychopath. I want to be clear: I am not advocating the serial murder of classic country musicians just to justify memorial beer festivals.)

Then on Sunday, maybe the most mouthwatering event of the festival (if the Mussels From Brussels at Bazi didn't win this already) is going down at The Commons: The Portland Beer and Cheese Festival (featuring free charcuterie from CHOP with the price of admission). Steve Jones of Cheese Bar is pairing the cheese, so you know it's going to be a world-class affair.

You'll need some kind of organized sports to work off the cheese and beer from that event, so head to Ground Kontrol from 8:00-11:00pm for some competitive video gaming and Ninkasi beer. Winners win... well, I don't know, they don't list specific prizes, just "Ninkasi swag and Ground Kontrol gift certificates," but in my case it the real prize would be a sense of accomplishment and pride previously thought unattainable.

Then get some rest because Monday is another day of drinking in this beautiful beer-stained city.